213: Choice in Aging: How Medi-Cal Programs Help Seniors Age in Place
Absolute Trust Talk
What if staying home as you age cost a fraction of what a nursing facility does? In California, a shared room in a skilled nursing facility averages about $130,000 a year. Choice in Aging's Medi-Cal waiver program works with about $6,000 per person per year to help people remain in their own homes, with the care, connection, and dignity they want. This week, Kirsten Howe sits down with Debbie Toth, President and CEO of Choice in Aging, a 77-year-old Bay Area nonprofit that helps older adults and people with disabilities live and age in community. Debbie explains how the Multipurpose Senior...
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212: Childfree Wealth, Part 2: Pet Trusts, POAs, and Who Decides When You Can't?
Absolute Trust Talk
Most estate planning conversations start with who gets what. For childfree adults, a harder question comes first: who makes decisions for you when you can't make them yourself? In Part 2 of her conversation with Scott Barnes, CFP®, CLTC, Director of Financial Planning at Childfree Wealth, host Kirsten Howe moves from financial planning to the documents themselves — and to the people named inside them. Scott and Kirsten dive in where many childfree clients start: pets, and why a line in a will leaving an animal and $10,000 to a friend doesn't do what people assume it does. From there, they...
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211: Childfree Wealth: Who's Your Long-Term Care Plan If You Don't Have Kids?211:
Absolute Trust Talk
Most people already have a long-term care plan. Yet they have never written it down, never funded it, and in many cases never said it out loud — it is simply the assumption that a son or daughter will step in when the time comes. Roughly 25% of U.S. adults do not have that assumption available to them. In Part 1 of her conversation with Scott Barnes, CFP®, CLTC, Director of Financial Planning at Childfree Wealth, host Kirsten Howe looks at what financial planning has to account for when there is no built-in safety net. Scott explains why disability and long-term care coverage move to the...
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210: Aging in Place, Part 2: How JoeyCo Home Sharing Actually Works
Absolute Trust Talk
Once a student is living in your spare room and working for your household, the questions get practical fast. Can they have a friend over? What did the screening actually check? And if it stops working, how does it end? In Part 2 of her conversation with JoeyCo founder Alison Donnally, host Kirsten Howe asks all of them — and gets straight answers, including who tends to apply for these arrangements and, just as usefully, who doesn't. Every JoeyCo match rests on two agreements that reference each other — a lodging agreement and a household employment agreement — and Alison explains why,...
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209: Aging in Place: How JoeyCo Matches Older Adults with Student Housemates
Absolute Trust Talk
What if the answer to aging well at home isn't an expensive caregiver --- but a college student in the spare bedroom? In this episode, host Kirsten Howe sits down with Alison Donnally, founder of JoeyCo and a healthcare innovation veteran of Amazon Care and Kaiser Permanente. After three of her own family members experienced major health events while aging alone, Alison asked a question that wouldn't let go: if the au pair system gives American families relatively affordable live-in childcare, why isn't there an equivalent for older adults? Her answer is JoeyCo, which matches older adult...
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208: Downsizing on Your Terms, Part 2: Buy First, Sell Later
Absolute Trust Talk
In Part 1, host Kirsten Howe and real estate agent Nathan Jines of Jines Real Estate Group talked about why more people 55 and up are choosing to relocate --- and how to make that choice on your own terms. Now, in Part 2, they get into the how. Nathan's first piece of advice flips conventional wisdom on its head: if you're financially able, buy your next home first, start living your new life, and let a full-service team handle the sale behind you --- decluttering, staging, repairs, negotiations, all of it, even from across the country. He shares how bridge lenders make buying first possible,...
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207: Downsizing on Your Terms: Moving After 55
Absolute Trust Talk
When most of us picture an older adult moving out of a long-time home, we imagine a crisis — declining health, a loss of independence, a move someone else decided was necessary. This episode is about the opposite. Host Kirsten Howe welcomes back real estate agent Nathan Jines of Jines Real Estate Group to talk about homeowners 55 and up who are choosing to relocate — not because they have to, but because they want to. Nathan explains why this is his favorite group to work with, and why the most important question isn’t “where should I go?” but “what do I want this next phase of my...
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206: Estate Planning Misses: The Mess You Leave Behind
Absolute Trust Talk
In this episode of Absolute Trust Talk, managing attorney Kirsten Howe shares an estate planning miss that has nothing to do with your documents — the literal, physical mess we tend to leave behind. Drawing on years of trust administration experience, Kirsten explains what really happens when one child is named trustee and inherits the job of emptying a home filled with decades of belongings: stalled home sales, frustrated siblings, and inheritances delayed by months. She also shares the story of a daughter trustee who nearly hauled a box of "trash" to the dumpster, only to find $2,500 in...
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205: Estate Planning Misses: How to Document a Loan or Gift to Your Child
Absolute Trust Talk
In this episode of Absolute Trust Talk, managing attorney Kirsten Howe tackles a quietly common source of family conflict: parents giving money to their adult children without documenting whether it's a gift or a loan. Drawing on years of trust administration experience, Kirsten shares a real family story where canceled checks sparked a bitter dispute among siblings after their parents passed, and she walks through the simple documentation steps that could have prevented it. She also addresses a second pitfall most families overlook: when a loan is properly documented up front but the...
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204: Estate Planning Misses: Addressing Separate Property in a Joint Trust
Absolute Trust Talk
In this episode of Absolute Trust Talk, managing attorney Kirsten Howe tackles one of the most common — and commonly overlooked — estate planning scenarios: what happens when one spouse inherits money, assets, or real estate after a joint trust is already in place. Kirsten breaks down the difference between separate and community property in California, explains why adding inherited assets to a joint trust doesn’t change their character but does affect who controls them, and walks through the two practical solutions her firm recommends. She also reveals a lesser-known complication: that...
info_outlineAs family members age, we often find other members becoming involved in caregiving and decision-making. Unfortunately, this can sometimes lead to conflict as communication and relationships deteriorate in disagreement over an issue that impacts the older adult or the family as a whole. In these cases, it can be helpful to have a qualified third party ask the right questions and help everyone find common ground - a professional we like to call an eldercare mediator.
In a new episode of Absolute Trust Talk, Kirsten sits down with Katharina Dress, MA. A mediator and facilitator who specializes in helping families understand each other’s viewpoints, reach an agreement, and ultimately make the best decisions about care and planning for aging loved ones and their families. Listen in to learn more about the issues Katharina sees among family members, what causes tension, and some of the approaches she uses to resolve conflict successfully.
Big Three from Episode #059:
- Elder mediation can help families reach agreements about legal, financial, and care planning for their aging loved ones and their estate.
- Even if you think a conflicting party will not agree to mediation, it’s worth getting in touch with a mediator to find ways to engage the parties in communication.
- The ultimate goal is to make decisions that are in the best interest of the elder while considering the needs of everyone involved.
Time-stamped Show Notes:
3:57 – What does an elder mediator do?
4:47 – These are some of the most common issues that families struggle with.
5:35 – Why is it important for the Powers of Attorney to work together?
6:49 – Katharina talks more about how she gets started with a family in conflict.
7:43 – Katharina and Kirsten discuss, generally, what family members are involved in mediation.
9:12 – Every case is different, but this is typically how long an elder mediation case can take.
13:49 – Katharina discusses some of the different training that she offers.
15:49 – This is the type of training needed to become an elder mediator.
17:58 – Are the mediations binding?
19:27 – Should family members get in touch even if they think other members won’t agree to mediation?
21:28 – Katharina shares an example of a successful mediation case.
Get in touch with Katharina:
Phone: (510) 356-7830
Email: [email protected]
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Take the Next Step in Your Estate Planning Journey
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- Answer questions about our services
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Visit https://absolutetrustcounsel.com/scheduling/ or call 925-943-2740 to schedule your free discovery call today.
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