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Destined for Motherhood: A Story of Adoption and Surrogacy [S5E1]

ADOPTION NOW

Release Date: 03/07/2019

We Found You: Aubrey Mueller Shares her Adoption Story to Find her Daughter [S6E13] show art We Found You: Aubrey Mueller Shares her Adoption Story to Find her Daughter [S6E13]

ADOPTION NOW

Aubrey and Eric Mueller are from the Midwest and always knew they would adopt. After having two biological sons, they decided to pursue domestic infant adoption. The adventure begins as they are matched several times, and even connected to a notorious scammer that was on the TV show, Dr. Phil! Finally, after four years, they welcomed their third child and only baby girl into their family — along with her incredible birth family! All the trials were worth it, as they found their darling daughter. But wait…listen to this episode to hear how another unexpected surprise happens!

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ADOPTION NOW

This story comes to us from Australia!!! After a ten-year journey of failed IVF treatments, 9 miscarriages, 2 ectopic pregnancies, and unsuccessful attempts at surrogacy, Kaisey and Ashley share how their two incredible children came into their home through adoption. Noah and I have waited a long time to interview this couple and though we have never met them, this episode sounds like we have been friends forever! It’s very exciting to know that ADOPTION NOW is reaching other countries and bringing together like-hearted people who want to share their story in hopes it may inspire you in your...

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ADOPTION NOW

Tiffany and Jeff live in a small Midwest town. They always knew they would adopt but had no idea the journey God would take them on. We often ask ourselves, where is the beauty from these ASHES?? The way that Tiffany speaks on the deep loss and sorrow that propels their family into action is profound. God is in the midst, and those that can see through the confusion and walk into His plan are blessed in ways that are beyond this world. It is not often that a story leaves me absolutely speechless like this one did. When you listen, you will understand how beautiful this adoption story is from...

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ADOPTION NOW

Diane is an adult adoptee and the author of the award-winning memoir, Fixing the Fates. She is also the host of “Dropping In,” a show on VoiceAmerica.com. In this episode, Diane speaks on the magic of being an adoptee and how she feels “lucky” to have grown up in the home she did. She was adopted from a German orphanage and traveled with her new grandmother to the United States. When Diane searches to find the truth about her story, she learns about her biological mother’s love for her!!! (It's amazing - grab your Kleenex box)  This interview is so heart-warming, and...

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April Fallon interviews Kim Kriesel, a licensed Professional Counselor who helps couples who are struggling to grow their family. For many women, not being able to fulfill their expectation of motherhood is the most devastating experience.  Kim and her husband went through infertility and experienced many losses along the way. In overcoming her own grief, her passion now lies in helping others who are experiencing this kind of distress.  In this episode, Kim talks about recognizing the pain surrounding infant loss and infertility. The road to healing is not easy, but having...

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Lynn Deiulis is an adult adopted person and retired adoption worker from Canada who has written a book called “What Is Your Story”: Let’s Talk About Adoption and Kinship.  Children are inquisitive people, especially about their history and their story. Lynn spent her whole life searching for information about her adoption story and her biological parents. In 1991 she connected to her half-sister who was also adopted into another family. Together they go on a journey to find the truth about their birth mother but the search comes to an end when the mother refuses to connect with...

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ADOPTION NOW

When Bailey and her husband said yes to growing their family through the foster care system, they had no idea what to expect!! 23 children later and 4 adopted into their family, Bailey shares what she learned on the journey. She never would have guessed how much her heart would change and how God would open the doors to have authentic relationships with birth families. She now runs a non-profit in South Florida called, “The Hands and Feet.” They support children and families in the child welfare system by providing basic necessities when children come into care. Check out this episode and...

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ADOPTION NOW

After struggling with infertility, Jaime and Erin decided to travel state to state to adopt their two children. Erin talks about being honest in the matching process and how to be yourself when meeting the birthparents. After adopting their two children, Erin started an online adoption platform called PairTree. PairTree provides adoptive and birth families with a one-stop adoption platform.  Beginning with the home study process by coordinating online home study options tailored to individual state requirements, they work closely with a network of family law and adoption attorneys. They...

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More Episodes

As always, ADOPTION NOW focuses on the many powerful stories centered around adoption and foster care. This episode also includes a topic April Fallon is new to, the topic of surrogacy. Dr. Claire Dumke tells us the story of her two daughters, Ruby and Hazel, and how she pursued both adoption and surrogacy at the same time. As a result of this, her two daughters were born 8 months apart!

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The episode focuses on the many joys that were felt throughout her experience, but also on the challenging aspects. And in addition, surrogacy is explained: the price, what to expect, regulations, details on medication, and so forth.

Below are four of the most crucial aspects of this episode ranging from surrogacy in a nutshell, transracial adoption, the importance of agencies and the selection process for adoption, as well as the relational interplay between biological and adoptive mothers.

[#1 What to Expect When your Surrogate is Expecting]

  • As was the case with Dr. Claire, surrogacy may be an option for a family if they have embryos either through IVF but cannot personally carry them to full term.
  • It is very expensive! Dr. Claire mentions that the price was in the six-figure range at least. But as always, no amount of money is too much for the wonderful gift of life.
  • Dr. Claire also discusses and warns of the emotional distress that can occur for surrogates after they give birth. Counseling is a very powerful tool for this common circumstance and Dr. Claire highly recommends that the biological family is prepared to provide this resource.

[#2 Transracial Open Adoption ]

  • Ruby--Dr. Claire’s first daughter and who was adopted through an open agreement with her  African American birth mother--didn’t make Claire nervous in the slightest at the dynamic. Although she does talk about how nervous she was to meet the extended family of the biological mother, she stresses just how beautiful and wonderful Ruby is.
  • The concept of providing racial mirrors for Ruby is brought up as well, meaning that considerable attention to positive reinforcement of Ruby’s racial identity is a large focal point in their family.
  • And through Claire’s relationship with Ruby’s biological mother and her extended family, Ruby has that much more reinforcement.

[#3 Agencies and The Adoption Selection Process ]

  • When talking about how expectant  mothers choose adoptive parents for their child, the best advice is, “Be yourself!” As April states; you never know just what detail will stand out and speak to a birth mother in the midst of her choice. And like it is discussed within the episode, the difference between you being chosen or not could have to do with if you have a golden retriever or not; be yourself!
  • Agencies are very important for introducing you to a bigger pool of possibilities for being matched with a child. And the multi-state agencies also give you a higher probability to be selected faster due to more choices. The Adoption Choices of Colorado was the agency Dr. Claire used. She and  her husband were pleasantly surprised to find themselves in Texas for Ruby after just two short months of waiting.

[#4 Relationship Dynamics Between Surrogates, Biological Mothers, and Adoptive Parents ]

  • There is a fair amount of discussion on the interactions between adoptive parents, the birth mother and a surrogate mother. There can be a lot of grief after placement, so counseling and sensitivity towards that issue are imperative.
  • As Dr. Claire states during the episode, what words are there to express to a birth mother or surrogate mother besides gratitude, gratitude, and more gratitude!
  • In addition, the whole process has strengthened the bond between Dr. Claire and her husband.

More details at: https://adoptionnow.com/podcast/destined-for-motherhood-a-story-of-adoption-and-surrogacy

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ADOPTION NOW is produced and distributed by Simpler Media