'BREAKING BREAD WITH THE DEAD' - Rev. Dr. Marlin Lavanhar
All Souls Unitarian Church, Tulsa, OK
Release Date: 10/30/2023
All Souls Unitarian Church, Tulsa, OK
The message was delivered on Sunday, November 16, 2025, at All Souls Unitarian Church in Tulsa, Oklahoma, by Rev. Dr. Marlin Lavanhar, Senior Minister. Description: Inspired by @sterlinharjo’s hit Tulsa-based series The Lowdown, this Sunday’s message wrestles with the same timeless questions: When do you try to be the hero in your relationships and sometimes make things worse? When do you make assumptions about others thinking that you know best? When have your good intentions led you to hurt someone else?t shape a just and compassionate life. Subscribe: Watch this message on YouTube: ...
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The message was delivered on Sunday, November 9, 2025, at All Souls Unitarian Church in Tulsa, Oklahoma, by Rev. Randy Lewis, Assistant Minister. Description: We live in an age of quick clicks and easy exits—where “I agree” means “I didn’t read it.” But what if the same carelessness that seeps into our choices begins to hollow out our character? What if the promises we keep—or fail to keep—are the hidden fine print of who we really are? Dare to slow down, read what we’ve signed with our lives, and rediscover the power of meaning what we say, even when it costs something. When...
info_outlineAll Souls Unitarian Church, Tulsa, OK
The message was delivered on Sunday, November 2, 2025, at All Souls Unitarian Church in Tulsa, Oklahoma, by Rev. Dr. Marlin Lavanhar, Senior Minister. Description: What happens to love when someone dies? Through the lens of Día de los Muertos traditions and the poignant story of Kafka's lost doll, discover how connection transcends physical absence. When a butterfly lands unexpectedly, when a soul grieves for the body it once inhabited, when we speak the names of those we've lost—love finds its way back in forms we never imagined. Explore the rituals and moments that bridge the living and...
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The message was delivered on Sunday, October 26, 2025, at All Souls Unitarian Church in Tulsa, Oklahoma, by Rev. Jacqueline Brett, Guest Minister. DESCRIPTION: What does it mean to truly rest in a world that equates busyness with worth? Explore the ancient wisdom of sabbatical—not as escape, but as radical preservation—and discover why even God needed to exhale after creation. Through the lens of a "sheroe's journey" rather than a hero's quest, this exploration reveals how vulnerability, presence, and intentional pauses become acts of resistance against systems that demand our constant...
info_outlineAll Souls Unitarian Church, Tulsa, OK
The message was delivered on Sunday, October 19, 2025, at All Souls Unitarian Church in Tulsa, Oklahoma, by Rev. Randy Lewis, Assistant Minister. DESCRIPTION: What if evil doesn’t come with fangs or fire—but with charm? What if the real danger isn’t in what terrifies us, but in what starts to feel normal? When the world tells us to harden our hearts, what happens to the light we carry? Maybe the bad moon isn’t something in the sky at all—but something we’ve allowed to rise within us. SUBSCRIBE TO AUDIO PODCAST: WATCH THIS MESSAGE ON YOUTUBE: GIVE A DONATION TO HELP US SPREAD THIS...
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The message was delivered on Sunday, October 12, 2025, at All Souls Unitarian Church in Tulsa, Oklahoma, by Rev. Dr. Marlin Lavanhar, Senior Minister. DESCRIPTION: When suffering strikes the innocent, where is divine justice? Throughout history, religions have offered comforting explanations—karma, God's plan, divine purpose—yet reality tells a different story. A mother loses her son to war, a child is taken by a drunk driver, families lose everything to circumstance beyond their control. If goodness cannot shield us from tragedy, is God a cosmic accountant, an indifferent force, or...
info_outlineAll Souls Unitarian Church, Tulsa, OK
The message was delivered on Sunday, October 5, 2025, at All Souls Unitarian Church in Tulsa, Oklahoma, by Rev. Dr. Marlin Lavanhar, Senior Minister. DESCRIPTION: What does it truly mean to build a dream? Not just to chase what we want, but to create something that lifts others as we rise? Discover why the pursuit of personal goals leaves us empty when we seek only for ourselves—and how everything changes when we shift from "getting" to "giving." Explore the profound difference between achieving success and creating meaning. Learn why generosity isn't just about money, but about using every...
info_outlineAll Souls Unitarian Church, Tulsa, OK
The message was delivered on Sunday, September 28, 2025, at All Souls Unitarian Church in Tulsa, Oklahoma, by Rev. Randy Lewis, Assistant Minister. DESCRIPTION: What if your vision could reshape the world around you? In a landscape where justice often feels far away and truth is obscured, imagine the power of collective hope and unwavering determination. Picture a future where dignity prevails, and every voice matters—where the stories of those who came before us inspire us to act. Can you see it? This is a call to recognize the strength within our shared struggle and to envision a reality...
info_outlineAll Souls Unitarian Church, Tulsa, OK
The message was delivered on Sunday, September 21, 2025, at All Souls Unitarian Church in Tulsa, Oklahoma, by Rev. Dr. Marlin Lavanhar, Senior Minister. DESCRIPTION: What if the true test of freedom is not how fiercely we defend our own views, but how deeply we honor the dignity of those we cannot accept? From Benjamin Franklin’s urgent warning to “hang together” to George W. Bush’s defense of pluralism after 9/11, history reminds us that unity has always been fragile—and essential. Could small acts of kindness, even toward those we call enemies, shift the course of our nation’s...
info_outlineAll Souls Unitarian Church, Tulsa, OK
The message was delivered on Sunday, September 14, 2025, at All Souls Unitarian Church in Tulsa, Oklahoma, by Rev. Dr. Nicole Kirk, Program Minister. DESCRIPTION: What happens when midnight falls across a nation's soul, and darkness seems so deep we can barely see which way to turn? An ancient parable about a friend's desperate knock at midnight becomes a powerful lens for understanding our current moment—where fear builds, divisions widen, and people push one another away. Yet in this darkness comes an urgent plea not for simple charity, but for something far more transformative: the bread...
info_outlineThe message was delivered on Sunday, October 29, 2023, at All Souls Unitarian Church in Tulsa, Oklahoma, by Rev. Dr. Marlin Lavanhar, Senior Minister.
DESCRIPTION
In the book: “Breaking Bread with the Dead” Alan Jacobs is concerned about children watching only stuff that is marketed to and for them, that is “fired like an arrow to their amygdala.” Stuff that was manufactured for their immediate effortless consumption. Rather than pushing them out of their comfort zone, experiencing some ambiguity and thematic density.
He also writes about the importance for all of us of engaging the ideas, art and music of people from previous generations as a way of living with less anxiety in the present. One of the major ways that attending All Souls adds value to our lives is by regularly introducing us to ideas and music from the past in ways that improve our lives in the present. This Sunday we will recognize 71 new members who have joined All Souls over the last few months. The following quote from Jacobs’ book introduces my theme for Sunday and one of the reasons so many people are drawn to All Souls in these times.
"…information overload—a sense that we are always receiving more sheer data than we know how to evaluate—and a more general feeling of social acceleration—the perception that the world is not only changing but changing faster and faster. What those closely related experiences tend to require from us is a rough-and-ready kind of informational triage."
Triage—it’s a French word meaning to separate and sort—is what nurses and doctors on the battlefield do: during and after a battle, as wounded soldiers flow in, the limited resources of a medical unit are sorely tested. The medical staff must learn to make instantaneous judgments: this person needs treatment now, that one can wait a little while, a third one will have to wait longer, preferably somewhere other than the medical tent. To the wounded soldiers, this system will often seem peremptory and harsh, uncompassionate, and perhaps even cruel; but it’s absolutely necessary for the nurses and doctors to be ruthlessly brisk. They cannot afford for one soldier to die while they’re comforting one whose injuries don’t threaten his life.
Navigating daily life in the internet age is a lot like doing battlefield triage. Given that what cultural critic Matthew Crawford calls the “attentional commons” is constantly noisy—there are days we can’t even put gas in our cars without being assaulted by advertisements blared at ear-rattling volume—we also learn to be ruthless in deciding how to deploy our attention. We only have so much of it, and often the decision of whether or not to “pay” it must be made in an instant. To avoid madness we must learn to reject appeals to our time, and reject them without hesitation or pity.
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