Episode 110 - Embracing Detachment with Presence
Are You Being Present?
The Buddhists believe the root of all suffering is attachment. This episode presents that idea and integrates it into ego work because attachment is a tool of the ego, and it has been used against you relentlessly for far too long. Inside this episode you will better understand what detachment actually is, and what it is not. The more detached you are, the more you can truly appreciate the people, places, experiences, and moments that are here now. It is attachment that ejects you from the present moment, creating a yearning for what is not here and cannot be here. Plus a piece of homework. A...
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Episode 109 - Stop Allowing Your Ego to Abuse You, Confuse You, Upset You, & Distract You
Are You Being Present?
If someone else in your life talked to you the way your ego does, you would call it abuse. So why do we allow it? Why are we complicit? This episode turns the question directly on the listener. Why are you allowing your ego to confuse you, to upset you, to distract you, to eject you from the present moment? Just sitting with that question is part of the gap, part of the pause, part of the practice. Inside, a look at hypervigilance and what it costs you, drawn from observations of patients whose nervous systems never stop scanning, tracking, preparing, waiting for the next shoe to drop. It is...
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Episode 108 - Doing Ego Work in the Present Moment
Are You Being Present?
After episodes spent naming ego programs and tools of the ego one by one, this one turns to the work itself. What ego work actually is. Where it has to be done. And why so few people are doing it. Ego work can only happen in the present moment, and the ego's job is to eject you from it. That is the juxtaposition at the heart of this episode. Inside, a look at the true power of the ego, how it can trigger a full physiological response in a present moment that has nothing to do with what is actually happening, and the cycle that keeps you stuck once it does. Plus the first steps of real ego...
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Episode 107 - The Most Important Relationship You’ll Ever Have Is Between You and You
Are You Being Present?
The most important relationship you will ever have is the one between you and you. Until you do your ego work, you are your ego. It uses your voice in your head to make you believe it is you, but it is a component of your personality, not the authentic version of you underneath it. This episode looks at why that relationship gets overlooked. We are raised to focus on relationships with family, teachers, and peers, and rarely encouraged to focus on how we treat ourselves, how we talk to ourselves, how we see ourselves. Would you ever let anyone talk to you the way you talk to yourself? Many...
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Episode 106 - Anticipation Is a Tool of the Ego
Are You Being Present?
Anticipation is such a common tool, such a common motivator, such a common behavior. We anticipate things we perceive as good, bad, and indifferent, sometimes all three together. But what is anticipation actually doing to us, and how is it affecting the present moment itself? This episode makes the case that anticipation is a tool of the ego, one that becomes a presence roadblock. It brings something into the present moment so we can prepare for an eventuality we think is coming, but rarely does anticipation lead to exactly what happens when that moment arrives. It overlays and shadows the...
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Episode 105 - Seeking External Validation Is a Tool of the Ego
Are You Being Present?
External validation feels good. But what happens when it runs out? This episode explores one of the ego's most powerful and pervasive traps: the endless pursuit of external validation. From the praise of parents and teachers in childhood to the approval of employers, spouses, and peers in adulthood, most of us have been deeply conditioned to measure our worth through the eyes of others. And the ego knows exactly how to exploit that. External validation can never be a sustainable source of confidence, because by its very nature, it isn't limitless. When the praise stops, the anxiety begins....
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Episode 104 - Identifying Ego Programs in the Present Moment
Are You Being Present?
Ego programs run like computer viruses in the background of your mind, silently sabotaging your present moment and creating self-inflicted suffering. Drawing from 15 years of clinical observation across 103 podcast episodes, this deep dive reveals what ego programs are, how to identify them in real time, and why they keep you trapped in patterns that have nothing to do with reality as it actually is. “I am sick.” “I’m not enough.” “I don’t have enough.” These aren’t truths - they’re programs installed during trauma and hardship that your ego weaponizes against you...
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Episode 103 - “I Am Sick” Is a Program of the Ego
Are You Being Present?
“I am sick” isn’t a statement of fact - it’s an ego program that makes you become the very illness you claim. This episode examines how the powerful declaration “I am” followed by “sick” creates ownership of disease rather than acknowledging temporary imbalance. Drawing from 15 years of clinical observation and personal experience, we explore how this pervasive ego tool keeps you trapped in fear, stress, and perpetual scanning for problems. Your mind obsesses over every ache, convincing you something is fundamentally wrong when you’re simply having a human experience in a...
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Episode 102 - Stop Catastrophizing, Be Present!
Are You Being Present?
What if most of your suffering is self-inflicted? Catastrophizing robs you of the present moment by spinning worst-case scenarios that never materialize. Your mind creates entire disasters from nothing, projecting distorted memories onto an imagined future while reality unfolds peacefully right in front of you. This episode cuts through the madness. Drawing from thousands of clinical observations and hard-won personal insight, we expose catastrophizing as a relentless ego program designed solely to eject you from presence. You’ve done this countless times, yet how often has the catastrophe...
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Episode 101 - Embracing Change in the Present Moment
Are You Being Present?
Change is inevitable, but our resistance to it creates suffering. In this episode, we explore why we struggle with change, how safety and comfort keep us trapped in familiar patterns, and what it means to embrace change with presence instead of fear. Drawing from personal experiences with injury, observations from clinic work with aging patients and career transitions, and practical presence tools, this conversation offers a path toward seeing change not as something happening TO you, but FOR you. Whether you’re navigating a career shift, physical limitations, or unexpected life transitions,...
info_outlineThe Presence Projects presents episode 94 of the "Are You Being Present?" podcast series. Join Paul for a podcast that explores patterns and how Presence allows us to identify, understand and shift our conscious and unconscious behavior(s) in the Present moment.
The title and topic of this episode is “Identifying Patterns With Presence". In this podcast Paul shares his Present seconds discussing the need to identify patterns that exist within our reality. He illuminates the importance of examining behavioral patterns with Presence to see the effect(s) they have and why they are repeated.
Many people are taught patterns during childhood that become deeply ingrained creating neural pathways. Once these patterns are repeated long enough, they become routine and are done without thought or intention. Many times, these behavioral patterns create loops where people get stuck doing the same things repeatedly and at times expecting different results. This creates fertile ground for the ego, also known as the loud voice in your head, where negative streams of thought become dominant leading to self-inflicted suffering. Using Presence tools can help provide clarity allowing for a better understanding of the pattern itself and the opportunity to change, grow and shift away from this unhelpful and unproductive behavior.
As always, it is advisable to listen to earlier podcasts that discuss other Presence topics and Presence Tools that can be implemented to help shift into the Present Moment.
Please check out the rest of the "Are You Being Present?" podcasts series on our website, iTunes and YouTube!
Remember you have a choice. Choose to be present!