PFL 23: Dealing With Emotional Separation...

Hi everyone! This is Connie Sokol, and you're listening to Balance Redefined Radio. I've spent over 20 years teaching people how to redefine what balance really is, meaning a more purposeful and joyful life.

 

They’ve paid off credit cards, lost weight, organized their homes, and created a meaningful life plan, and they've managed their time, changed habits and experiencde greater success both at work and at home.

 

So now I decided to take the plunge and help about 100,000 new people who want to redefine balance in their lives. People ask me all the time, “How do I go from an overwhelming and chaotic life to more purpose and organization and joy?”

 

That's the reason why I'm doing this podcast, to give you trusted answers and create a space where you could find balance. My name is Connie Sokol and welcome to Balance Redefined Radio…

 

Welcome back to another excerpt from my Life Is Too Short collection. This excerpt is Dealing With Emotional Separation…

 

In C.S. Lewis's classic tale, The Great Divorce, he tells a story about the divorce of Heaven and Hell. Lewis describes the journey of a person taking a bus trip to visit heaven, and as this person asks his guide, “Why does such a large downtown as hell have so few people living there?”

 

The guide replies, “The trouble is that they're so quarrelsome. As soon as anyone arrives, he settles in some street before he's been there. Twenty four hours. He quarrels with his neighbor before the week is over.

 

...He's quarreled so badly that he decides to move, but even if he stays, he's sure to have another quarrel pretty soon, and then he'll move on again. And so it is in modern day.”

 

How many times have you heard or felt or said, “I can't deal with this anymore. Let's just move.” We live in these communities and drive on the same roads with the nonverbal understanding that we're doing our best, but living side by side. We are open and vulnerable, and overtime we will inevitably experienced situations both difficult and delightful.

 

And when things get difficult, it is easy for us to react defensively and look questioningly at the neighbors we thought we knew -- right when something goes sour from the non-returned weed eater to a character slander.

 

We feel the hurt and likely we instinctively pull away…

 

But in these times one thing stands true. What is important in this life is that we love….

 

Such love for everyday people like ourselves can obviously be complex, and it's a constant push pull of our soul-testing -- our strongest feelings of justice and mercy, of right and wrong, and the ability to still love somewhere in between.

 

And this is not pretending that we didn't see it or feel it or know it. It's looking beyond what we see, and feel, and know to a fuller understanding -- believing that every person is trying their best to get up, breathe, and face the day.

 

And for many, even that can be a Herculean task...

 

In his book Illusions, Richard Bach reminds us that the people in our lives are there for a reason. What we choose to do with them is up to us…

 

We can pull away -- and you know for a time that may be necessary -- but our soul knows that in the end, true happiness is found in learning how to stay connected in the face of emotional separation.

 

I love this from religious leader Neal A. Maxwell who taught that we're here to learn how to “partake of the bitter cup without becoming bitter, loving while hurting is one of the hardest things I think we can do, but pain is a powerful teacher...”

 

If we let it be, and as we seek for those deeper insights from a higher source, we can find the purpose in it. So if you're experiencing an emotional challenge, try to look at it another way.

 

Take a timeout in a different place mentally or physically and look at the situation with an open viewfinder without blame. As you desire and ask for peace, you will see it and feel it.

 

You will know it…

 

One lady recently said, “People are human. Get over it, but do more than that. Don't avoid it. Go through it. Be a part of it for receiving and embracing people as people.”

 

All the wonderful weird and wounding things we do, helps us to embrace those things within ourselves…

 

Again, that's from my book the Life Is Too Short Collection, which takes the best essays out of the previous three books and put them into one fabulous collection of kitchen table wisdom with a side of humor…

 

You got it! Thanks for listening. Remember to rate and subscribe. And if you are feeling the need for real balance in your life, get your free five step life plan, and get started today! Just go to conniesokol.com/download.