PFL 42: The Mom Game Changer Ann Romney Taught Me

Hi, I'm Connie Sokol, a national speaker, bestselling author, program founder, and mother of seven and loving it. I'm reaching and teaching 1 million listeners to live a purposeful, organized, and joyful life. You can too. So let's go.

Welcome back to Balance Redefined. I'm Connie Sokol. Glad you're back for more great stuff. And today I want to share an important principle that I learned from Ann Romney. I've learned a lot of great things from her at different interviews that I've seen. She's just such a classy, elegant, real authentic woman. I love her and I love that she has stayed that way no matter what scuttle butt is swirling round her with her husband, Mitt Romney being so prominently in the political field and in the public eye that she gets all kinds of views and perspectives about her. And I love how she is just keeps moving forward, knows clearly who she is and stays focused on that.

I feel that solidity from her and I love that. Now, a personal confession, another thing I love about her is her cookbook. Okay. I don't know if you know that she has a cookbook out and I get nothing for this. No commission related, but I have to tell you I love it. It's doable. Recipes of ingredients that you actually have in your cabinet and it's family kind of stuff. It's stuff for holidays and celebrations. It's stuff for snacks after school and treats and yummy things that you actually can make as kind of a novice or sort of a, I'm okay baker. I love to bake. I'm not necessarily a gorgeous baker. I'm more of a down and dirty eighty percenter baker like, hey, let's make it good. It looks good. All right, we're eating it, we're done. And so I love that she makes me look really good.

Kind of nodding to that gourmet side, so I look a little bit stellar. Yeah. Yeah, it's the pride side taken over and I love that. I love that I can make something that's good, yummy and people love it and it looks good and I feel stellar. So anyway, those are some of the things that I love about Ann, but what I also love about this cookbook is that she has some personal thoughts in there, which is fantastic and she talks about being a mother of five boys. Now any of you out there that have boys know what I'm talking about because I had my three boys first and you know what? I love them like no tomorrow and I'm so grateful I had them first because I could practice on them and it was great. They had short term memory loss and that was awesome because they would do something and I would lose my mind and I would scream or I would yell and in a Scottish fashion I would leh, leh, leh leh like a good Scottish mother does and they would forget about it. Half an hour later they're off doing something else and we're all playing and laughing and doing whatever loved it. Had my three girls next, not so much the same grudge holding. That's all I got to say and in the good Scottish style grudge holding forever, but I have to say and give them their full Kudos that they learned very quickly. I would say how to be able to process through that and get over that quickly. Maybe is a loose word, maybe 10 years, but it did help them get through it and I love them dearly, not just being fairses , really want to tell the whole story there, but my boys, they were not happy unless they were destroying something or fighting something or hitting something.

I don't know what that was. I was raised with mostly girls and just did not understand I had a stepbrother for a little while I did. I did not understand this phenomenon so I can so relate to what she's talking about. So I have to give a couple of quotes here and then I want to share with you the one thing that I really love to share about what I learned in here. Besides that, she is just a real genuine mom. She said "as a mother, a young mother with five boys home all day...", so been there, stayed home mom, "I occasionally reached my wit's end occasionally." Mine was quite more often than that. "The boys fought and fought and fought more than once. I slammed the door, got in the car and drove away telling the boys I wasn't coming back." Where was that in my life?

I should have tried that. "Then I drive a block park in a spot where I could still see the house crisis and recharge." Have you been there? Oh yes. Usually, chocolate was involved.

"You don't see pictures of those kinds of days because, well, I didn't jump to get out of the camera, get out the camera when I was near meltdown" and I agree. Some people say, you know, you don't post enough. Not me, but not yet anyway, but because I think I post quite a bit of them. But you know, people say, Oh, why don't people spend, you know, put - post more pictures that are just like the lame days of life. Really? Don't we have enough at that in our lives that we really have to go on social media to see that. Now you know me about authenticity. There has to be a balance but really I don't want to see that every day, every single post. I just don't. So, I love that she was honest about this and how hard it was honestly to raise five boys and I love that she shared this about Mitch.

She said "he was often away work generally took him out in the road like two or three nights a week" and she said sometimes he would call and you can hear the boys fighting in the background and hear the weariness inner voice and he said this "Ann, what you are doing is more important that what I am doing your raising the kids who would be part of our lives forever. I'm just trying to earn the money to pay the bills". Now, I think that's a very gracious response because he's actually trying to make a difference in the world and he's actually trying to help in the greater good, you know? And as well as providing a stable and protective environment for his family in doing that. So I think that's really gracious that he put it in those kind of stark terms.

Probably when you have a really on the edge wife, it's a really good thing to take that gracious meek stance. I would really highly recommend that. Anyway, what I love is that out of this, she said, it came to me that I realized that I needed to do something joyful and fun and she said, "I decided I needed to take an hour in the afternoon to do something that I love to do". And for her it was tennis. She said in her words, you know, "it was probably good for me to whack a tennis ball. It made me less inclined to want to whack the kids". And I've been there also. I love that she was really aware of that and she said it came, gave her energy and she come home, she'd have an enthusiasm and she also made some great friends.

So here she's, getting that social connection that we women need and we start to lose when we have children because we're so in survival mode so much of the time and that becomes so much of our world. So, I love that she found that sweet spot, pun intended, that she realized the need to do something joyful for an hour on a daily basis to stay sane. Now I want to remind you, this good woman, she did not even as the wife of Mitt Romney, she did not employ a cook a nanny or a housekeeper. She did all of that herself. Now I have seven kids and I know somewhat of what that takes and I literally took a picture of the kitchen floor one day after I had cleaned it and sent it to my spouse and said, I want you to know that this is what it looks like far on average about 12 minutes a day.

I want you to know I clean it about three times a day and I want you to see what it actually looks like because it will not look like that when you walk in the door. I mean, really, I just had to validate myself in some fashion that what I did actually mattered even when I couldn't see any fruits really of what I was doing on a given day. And I love that she also found out that it wasn't just this beautiful little, I'm going to make this plan and I'm going to do this for an hour and it's going to work out beautifully. It didn't. In fact one time she said she had a tennis tournament and she said, okay, it was really nearby city. She said, how bad could it be if I had a 13 and 11-year-old, you know, stay home together and I can just go for an hour and come back.

It should be just fine. Well, she comes back and they had gotten into the fluffer nutter. Do you guys know what fluffer nutter is? Oh, it's so great! It's just this marshmallow, gooey kind of substance, sticky as all get out and you put it on peanut butter sandwich and then you kind of make sure that the toast is warm and I mean that the bread is warm or you toast it and it just grew with it. Oh, it is so, so, so good. Anyway, so they had gotten into the fluffer nutter and you know, the older brother had finished off the younger one, any spots that he had missed. And so it was everywhere. And she said when she would go for whatever time she went, she would plan for double that time for cleaning up whatever mess there might be.

But you know, when you go and do something joyful, does that matter? No, I know that when I would go, I remember coming to a place of this Ann Romney place years ago and I had four children, six and under. And I was losing my mind. And I remember saying, I have to go out one night a week. I've got to go out for at least two hours. I have to do something or I'm not gonna make it. I had my oldest had Aspergers and it was, we didn't have it diagnosed. We didn't know what it was, finding these different doctors to try to find out what it was. But I was dealing with it all the time and it was just something else. No family help cause no family lives around me. And so it was really insane, truly on the edge. And I remember going, I say I, I'm getting a sitter and I am going and I went to Barnes and Noble and I would get a slice of cheesecake and I get a book and I'd sit down and one of those comfy chairs and I would read uninterrupted and savor the soft bites of that sweet, delicious cheesecake.

Oh my word. It was so phenomenal. And when I was done, I would come home, I'd only have about an hour because I had a half hour travel time. And then I'd come home only an hour really. And I'd come home and I would be a new woman. I felt like, whoa. They mark it on the wall. It's okay! Oh, they broke my favorite vase, it's okay!

All of it was fine because I was in cheesecake heaven and I was in. I've just read a book, enriched my mind and filled my soul. I'm happy, so it was all good. Believe me when I tell you it was all good. So I encourage you today, what do you think? I'm going to encourage you, you're already had me choose something joyful to do. Carve bit into your schedule market, stamp it, emblazon it, whatever you need to brand it. I don't know with one of those hot branding irons, just put it on your schedule and it doesn't matter if it's for 10 minutes, 20 minutes, an hour, whatever it means to you. Carve out that time and I can promise you, this is another beautiful thing about women, how quickly we bounced back.

We really don't need a lot. It's like those tomato plants, you neglect it, you give him a little bit of water and they're like, thanks, and then they pop right back up. You just need a little bit and you will be shocked at how quickly you will start to feel that joy to vive. You'll feel that feeling of life. You'll feel that I am loving myself and my family. Okay, so choose it right now today. Put it on your planner, put it in your phone, choose that thing you want to do.

Start with 10 or 15 or 20 minutes and see what happens and then comment below. I want to know what do you do for your joy moment? What do you do for that happy feeling? What do you do for that sanity saver? Let us know because we can all use a little more sanity saving. Would love to hear your responses and if you're interested in one of my awesome masterclasses free masterclass teaching you more of these life had tips.

You know, this is my love. This is my joy is teaching people some ideas and thoughts of how they can really shift their lives for more purpose, organization, and joy and do it now down and dirty. If you want more of those in my free masterclasses, #yes below we will get you information or you can go straight to Conniesokol.com and you can email or you can check out the free masterclass that is posted there and when it's happening. Or if you're a social media junkie, just go on social media and you'll find it on my Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, wherever you want to go. I am there. So seek and Ye shall find. Get on there and get that free masterclass on giving you free tips that are fantastic for you to change your life right now. All right, I'm excited for you to get some great juicies today and stay tuned for more. Choose another podcast to get your balance redefined.

I'm Connie Sokol and thanks for listening today to balance redefined. Don't forget to rate and subscribe and if you like to get even more life shifting, learning with my free Masterclass on Five steps to Balance Redefined, find your personal purpose, get focused priorities, organizational life hacks, and more. Register now at ConnieSokol.com/masterclass.