076 - INTERVIEW: The Four Elements and Self Defense with Alice Alexandrescu
Born to Be a Badass
Alice Alexandrescu is an options facilitator who helps people identify and protect their mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical boundaries. Currently, she is mentoring under Tony Blauer in his SPEAR System Elite Masterclass. She is an Army veteran, holds a Master of Fine Arts in Behavioral Aesthetics and is a qualified mental health associate skills trainer. In 2020, Alice was awarded third place in the National Veterans’ Art Festival for her piece entitled, “888 Paper Cranes”, which she gradually completed while hospitalized for PTSD. Saying, “during my treatment, crushing...
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075 - FIERCE AND FEMALE - BEHAVIORAL CUES
Born to Be a Badass
Melissa Soalt is a women’s self-defense pioneer, a black belt hall of fame recipient, former trauma psychotherapist, and the creator of Fierce & Female Self Defense. She is a forerunner in full-force padded assailant scenario training, her approach is both practical and transformational. She has taught thousands of women how to safeguard their boundaries, protect themselves from danger and resist attack while reconnecting women with deep-seated, primal and emotional powers to live safer, bolder, and fuller lives and to reverse female fear. Melissa is an outspoken advocate for...
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074 - INTERVIEW: Recognizing Safety Nets with Raven Scott
Born to Be a Badass
Raven Scott is a survivor of an abusing relationship with a narcissist, she’s gone from being a people pleaser to a kick-ass author, podcaster, and mentor and she’s a certified meditation teacher and a Destiny Coach. She teaches women how to shed negative patterns one step at a time, to find their power and potential through healing so that they can kick ass in their own life. Raven has a terrific podcast called “Unlock Your Destiny” and she recently published a book that’s a memoir combined with an empath’s healing guide, that book is called “Empath and The Narcissist: A Healing...
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073 - INTERVIEW: Practicing Situational Awareness with M.E. Heald
Born to Be a Badass
M.E. Heald graduated 2006 with a double major in Criminal Justice and Psychology, and in 2010 with a masters in Criminal Justice specific to gangs and youth offenders. She has worked all over the place, including food service, sales, a few years as a promotional and advertising model, a year as a Miller Light Gal, she has also been an advocate at a sexual assault center and has spent the last 7 years as a corrections officer, the last 9 as a case manager. She trains new staff in self-defense, control tactics, crisis intervention, motivational interviewing, scenario-based trainings, conflict...
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072 - INTERVIEW: The Process of Healing Trauma with Wendy Keir
Born to Be a Badass
Wendy Keir has spent her whole life recovering from the traumatic aftereffects of being institutionalized in the United Kingdom’s care system. She believes that healing from emotional and traumatic scars is an inside out job. The path to successful ongoing recovery and to breaking the cycle starts with your relationship with yourself and others, how you perceive the world around you and changing your inner world. In this episode, Wendy and I discuss: What is trauma and denial? Recognizing how trauma affects your life Processing your trauma and rebuilding back...
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071 - INTERVIEW: Real-world self-defense with Meredith Gold
Born to Be a Badass
About Meredith Gold: She is a scenario-based, full force, self defense instructor. She’s been teaching Adrenal Stress Scenario Training, also known as ASST to adults and teens since 1992 and started her empowerment-based assertive communication and self-defense program RAW Power: Real World Self-Defense in 2000. Meredith’s primary focus has always been teaching self-defense and verbal empowerment skills to previously untrained women and teens but her focus has expanded to other high risk targeted communities including LGBTQ and AAPI. She has also been instrumental in bringing awareness to...
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070 - FIERCE AND FEMALE - RAPE DEFENSE
Born to Be a Badass
Melissa Soalt is a women’s self-defense pioneer, a black belt hall of fame recipient, former trauma psychotherapist, and the creator of Fierce & Female Self Defense. She is a forerunner in full-force padded assailant scenario training, her approach is both practical and transformational. She has taught thousands of women how to safeguard their boundaries, protect themselves from danger and resist attack while reconnecting women with deep-seated, primal and emotional powers to live safer, bolder, and fuller lives and to reverse female fear. Melissa is an outspoken advocate for...
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069 - INTERVIEW: Advocating for Yourself with Alice Alexandrescu
Born to Be a Badass
Alice Alexandrescu is an options facilitator who helps people identify and protect their mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical boundaries. Currently, she is mentoring under Tony Blauer in his SPEAR System Elite Masterclass. She is an army veteran, holds a master of fine arts in behavioral aesthetics and is a qualified mental health associate skills trainer. In 2020, Alice was awarded third place in the National Veterans’ Art Festival for her piece entitled, “888 Paper Cranes”, which she gradually completed while hospitalized for PTSD. Saying, “during my treatment, crushing...
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068 - INTERVIEW: Setting Strong Boundaries With Randy King
Born to Be a Badass
Randy is an education-based self-defense coach with over 15 years of experience who has taught thousands of people all over the world to better understand conflict management and violence prevention. In his quest to help people better understand conflict and violence, he has had the privilege to work with a truly diverse group of people including communities such as the first nations in Canada, Women’s Shelters as well as professional organizations like law enforcement and private corporations. He also has an absolutely amazing podcast channel called Randy King Live. In this...
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067 - INTERVIEW: Becoming A Diamond with Aisya Carroll
Born to Be a Badass
Aisya Carroll is a certified life-coach, author, mentor, advocate for childhood trauma, a consultant and the CEO of Survivor Not By Chance LLC., whose mission is to help people cope with traumatic experiences by teaching them healthy coping mechanisms. Aisya has clients from across the globe with various backgrounds and experiences. She has mentored teenagers and young adults for over 15 years and is an advocate for children and adults affected by childhood trauma and domestic violence. Aisya volunteers to educate the community about racial injustice and systemic oppression in minority...
info_outlineIn this episode, we discuss:
- The most important technique for being safe, our first line of defense
- What happens in the absence of boundaries
- Setting firm boundaries
- Defending yourself when somebody crosses your boundaries and knowing when your boundaries are violated
Key Takeaways:
- Set and defend firm boundaries, it will prevent attacks. Setting boundaries is our right. Our ability to set them is what makes us far less vulnerable to intrusion, manipulation, or attacks.
- Predators and abusers see the absence of boundaries as a power vacuum - weak boundaries is what they look for. If somebody intrudes on your boundaries, it’s not your fault. But it’s your right and your responsibility to set boundaries.
- Acknowledge your intuition if something doesn’t feel right. Assert your feelings to someone who’s making you feel uncomfortable, and get ready to back up that assertion because it will be challenged.
- Predators are looking for a way to control and get to someone’s mind; small acts of denial of their control can save your life. Assert your limits, speak firmly.
- Setting boundaries is our first line of defense, if a predator crosses that, you have to take further actions to defend yourself. Yell, tell them to back away. If that doesn’t work, prepare to defend yourself physically.
"Setting limits around our mind, our authority, our sense of self, it’s what keeps us intact as having the ownership over our own lives and determining what’s around us." — Cynthia Jolicoeur
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