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Episode 396 - The Dr. Cloud Show - How Criticism Can Help You

The Boundaries.me Podcast

Release Date: 02/23/2024

Episode 424 - The Dr. Cloud Show - The Two Engines of a Balanced Life show art Episode 424 - The Dr. Cloud Show - The Two Engines of a Balanced Life

The Boundaries.me Podcast

In this episode, Dr. Henry Cloud explores the concept of balance in life, focusing on the relationship between our relational and performance sides. He explains how integrity means being whole and integrated in both areas, using the metaphor of a boat's wake to help listeners evaluate their life patterns. Throughout the episode, Dr. Cloud provides practical ways to assess life balance, shares strategies for identifying narcissistic behavior, and offers advice on dealing with criticism and perfectionism. The episode includes call-in segments where Dr. Cloud helps listeners who are struggling...

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The Boundaries.me Podcast

In this episode of the Dr. Cloud Show, Dr. Henry Cloud examines harmful parenting language patterns that may go unnoticed. He explains why phrases like "you need to" undermine children's autonomy and offers practical alternatives that help children develop their own sense of responsibility. Dr. Cloud also discusses the concept of "chunking" as a time management strategy - combining multiple activities to maximize efficiency in daily life. The show includes call-in segments where listeners receive guidance on setting boundaries with difficult family members and managing anxiety in professional...

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The Boundaries.me Podcast

In this episode Dr. Henry Cloud explores the mindset shift needed to navigate life's inevitable challenges. Beginning with the biblical principle that "in this world you have tribulation," Dr. Cloud examines how accepting reality—rather than fighting against it—makes us more resilient when facing difficulties. The show also includes conversations with callers facing significant life transitions. Vanessa grapples with leaving a teaching job she once thought would be her forever career after contract disagreements. Rita discusses forgiveness. Having forgiven her brother's murderer she is now...

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Episode 420 - The Dr. Cloud Show - Silencing Your Inner Critic show art Episode 420 - The Dr. Cloud Show - Silencing Your Inner Critic

The Boundaries.me Podcast

In this episode of The Dr. Cloud Show, Dr. Henry Cloud explores the powerful impact of negative thought patterns and how they affect our mental health. Drawing from clinical experience, he addresses how automatic negative thoughts can function like "someone walking behind you banging you on the head with a stick" - a metaphor that captures how self-criticism operates in our minds. This episode features practical techniques for identifying and redirecting these thought patterns, from tracking negative thoughts to understanding their origins in past relationships and unresolved trauma.  ...

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Episode 419 - The Dr. Cloud Show - The Dopamine War: How Social Media Platforms Target Your Brain show art Episode 419 - The Dr. Cloud Show - The Dopamine War: How Social Media Platforms Target Your Brain

The Boundaries.me Podcast

Dr. Henry Cloud examines how social media platforms and advertisers deliberately target the brain's reward system. The episode explores how these entities track preferences and serve content designed to trigger dopamine releases, potentially narrowing users' experiences and creating unhealthy patterns. The discussion covers the neurochemistry of pleasure, explaining how the same brain mechanisms activated by problematic behaviors also respond to positive activities like social connection and completing small tasks. Dr. Cloud presents practical strategies for regaining control through...

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Episode 418 - The Dr. Cloud Show - Compassionate Candor: Speaking Truth Without Hurting Relationships show art Episode 418 - The Dr. Cloud Show - Compassionate Candor: Speaking Truth Without Hurting Relationships

The Boundaries.me Podcast

In this episode of The Dr. Cloud Show, psychologist Henry Cloud explores the delicate balance of addressing relationship problems while preserving emotional connection. He examines how to separate behaviors from personal worth, and ways to provide feedback without damaging self-esteem or injecting contempt into important relationships. Dr. Cloud walks through practical applications with callers facing common challenges: a wife seeking family stability while her husband changes jobs frequently, an individual rebuilding career direction after marital separation, and adult children concerned...

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In this episode, Dr. Cloud examines the concept of incremental progress—explaining why personal growth happens little by little rather than all at once. The discussion covers how consistent small steps contribute to progress when dealing with depression, anxiety, relationship challenges, and health concerns. Dr. Cloud speaks with callers about establishing family boundaries after trauma, addressing chronic headaches in teenagers, and navigating the emotional aspects of infertility. Throughout these conversations, he outlines a framework for measuring progress, maintaining motivation, and...

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Episode 416 - The Dr. Cloud Show - The Architecture of Resilience show art Episode 416 - The Dr. Cloud Show - The Architecture of Resilience

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In this first episode of the new year, Dr. Cloud explores the architecture of personal resilience, using the metaphor of building a house to explain how people can strengthen their ability to cope with life's challenges. The episode opens with a thoughtful discussion about the devastating fires in Los Angeles, transitioning into an exploration of how people can build emotional resilience. Dr. Cloud addresses boundaries in toxic relationships, rebuilding trust after abuse, navigating a difficult breakup, and dealing with an unresponsive spouse. Each call demonstrates practical applications of...

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Episode 415 - The Dr. Cloud Show - Change Your Unhealthy Thinking Patterns show art Episode 415 - The Dr. Cloud Show - Change Your Unhealthy Thinking Patterns

The Boundaries.me Podcast

Much of your thinking is automatic, and that can be a great thing. No one needs to analyze every stroke of the toothbrush, so to speak. The problem, Dr. Henry Cloud contends, is when we default to thinking patterns that don’t work for situations that require us to be more considered and deliberate with our minds. One of the issues is that automatic thinking can lead to deeply ingrained patterns of behavior that self-reinforce. You have to ask yourself some questions about these automatic thoughts. Here’s a big one: are these even thoughts? Maybe this won’t surprise you, but no,...

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More Episodes

What’s the first thing you think of when you hear the word “criticism?” How you handle criticism is not just a measure of your patience, it’s also a huge growth opportunity. Dr. Henry Cloud explains how changing the frame through which you look at criticism can greatly improve your relationships and your performance. How you feel about criticism can also tell you a lot about your character. Getting to the next level in your life involves improving on things or adding new things to your life, whatever they may be. If you are not willing to find out where you can improve from the outside it’s going to be very difficult to verify real changes. Dr. Cloud wants you to think about your reactions to feedback and how you can steer away from defensiveness. Not all criticism is warranted or justified, but when it’s coming from a trusted source that wants the best for you it can be a blessing and chance to change for the better. 

 

Dr. Cloud answers this write-in question:

I have a getting-started problem. I am a 37 year old male and I know that I need to make changes if I want to live the kind of life I always imagined living. I could lose a few pounds. I could take my dating relationships more seriously. I could be more ambitious at work. I could play a few less video games and drink a bit less. But I don't, and feel like I'm always living in tomorrow. I come up with plans but I never get started. Is there something I can do today that will make the kind of difference that I'll feel immediately, and might help me get more motivated to get to work?

 

Heather needs strategies for staying emotionally centered when things get heated with family members she works with. 

 

Regina has a daughter who is a pastor in Sweden. How can she make her relationship with her daughter work when her daughter is showing signs of contempt toward her at every turn?

 

Being estranged from someone you once were close to can be a painful reality to live in. Should you reconcile? When? How? How can we fix the pain of estrangement? Does it get easier? What is my role in this process? What is mine to own? What should I do?

Dr. Cloud wants to help you navigate this terrain.  Go to https://boundaries.me/reconcile to find out more about the 2 hour live webinar with Dr. Cloud.

If you want to call in or watch the show live, subscribe on YouTube and click the Bell icon. It will alert you whenever we go live and will be your cue to call in and ask Dr. Cloud for advice. https://youtube.com/drhenrycloud