Episode 399 - The Dr. Cloud Show - Dealing with Different Types of Narcissists
Release Date: 03/19/2024
The Boundaries.me Podcast
In this episode, Dr. Henry Cloud explores the concept of balance in life, focusing on the relationship between our relational and performance sides. He explains how integrity means being whole and integrated in both areas, using the metaphor of a boat's wake to help listeners evaluate their life patterns. Throughout the episode, Dr. Cloud provides practical ways to assess life balance, shares strategies for identifying narcissistic behavior, and offers advice on dealing with criticism and perfectionism. The episode includes call-in segments where Dr. Cloud helps listeners who are struggling...
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In this episode of the Dr. Cloud Show, Dr. Henry Cloud examines harmful parenting language patterns that may go unnoticed. He explains why phrases like "you need to" undermine children's autonomy and offers practical alternatives that help children develop their own sense of responsibility. Dr. Cloud also discusses the concept of "chunking" as a time management strategy - combining multiple activities to maximize efficiency in daily life. The show includes call-in segments where listeners receive guidance on setting boundaries with difficult family members and managing anxiety in professional...
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In a deeply personal episode, Dr. Henry Cloud reads a letter he wrote to his daughter when she turned twelve, revealing key markers of growing maturity that apply to adults of all ages. Through his letter, Dr. Cloud explores how becoming an adult involves learning to be your own source, guardian, and manager—vital skills many still struggle with decades later. Later, listeners call in with questions about overcoming fear of judgment, career anxiety, and finding courage to pursue new paths. Dr. Cloud guides callers through facing their 'boogeymen' and taking small, manageable steps toward...
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In this episode Dr. Henry Cloud explores the mindset shift needed to navigate life's inevitable challenges. Beginning with the biblical principle that "in this world you have tribulation," Dr. Cloud examines how accepting reality—rather than fighting against it—makes us more resilient when facing difficulties. The show also includes conversations with callers facing significant life transitions. Vanessa grapples with leaving a teaching job she once thought would be her forever career after contract disagreements. Rita discusses forgiveness. Having forgiven her brother's murderer she is now...
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In this episode of The Dr. Cloud Show, Dr. Henry Cloud explores the powerful impact of negative thought patterns and how they affect our mental health. Drawing from clinical experience, he addresses how automatic negative thoughts can function like "someone walking behind you banging you on the head with a stick" - a metaphor that captures how self-criticism operates in our minds. This episode features practical techniques for identifying and redirecting these thought patterns, from tracking negative thoughts to understanding their origins in past relationships and unresolved trauma. ...
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Dr. Henry Cloud examines how social media platforms and advertisers deliberately target the brain's reward system. The episode explores how these entities track preferences and serve content designed to trigger dopamine releases, potentially narrowing users' experiences and creating unhealthy patterns. The discussion covers the neurochemistry of pleasure, explaining how the same brain mechanisms activated by problematic behaviors also respond to positive activities like social connection and completing small tasks. Dr. Cloud presents practical strategies for regaining control through...
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In this episode of The Dr. Cloud Show, psychologist Henry Cloud explores the delicate balance of addressing relationship problems while preserving emotional connection. He examines how to separate behaviors from personal worth, and ways to provide feedback without damaging self-esteem or injecting contempt into important relationships. Dr. Cloud walks through practical applications with callers facing common challenges: a wife seeking family stability while her husband changes jobs frequently, an individual rebuilding career direction after marital separation, and adult children concerned...
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In this episode, Dr. Cloud examines the concept of incremental progress—explaining why personal growth happens little by little rather than all at once. The discussion covers how consistent small steps contribute to progress when dealing with depression, anxiety, relationship challenges, and health concerns. Dr. Cloud speaks with callers about establishing family boundaries after trauma, addressing chronic headaches in teenagers, and navigating the emotional aspects of infertility. Throughout these conversations, he outlines a framework for measuring progress, maintaining motivation, and...
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In this first episode of the new year, Dr. Cloud explores the architecture of personal resilience, using the metaphor of building a house to explain how people can strengthen their ability to cope with life's challenges. The episode opens with a thoughtful discussion about the devastating fires in Los Angeles, transitioning into an exploration of how people can build emotional resilience. Dr. Cloud addresses boundaries in toxic relationships, rebuilding trust after abuse, navigating a difficult breakup, and dealing with an unresponsive spouse. Each call demonstrates practical applications of...
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Much of your thinking is automatic, and that can be a great thing. No one needs to analyze every stroke of the toothbrush, so to speak. The problem, Dr. Henry Cloud contends, is when we default to thinking patterns that don’t work for situations that require us to be more considered and deliberate with our minds. One of the issues is that automatic thinking can lead to deeply ingrained patterns of behavior that self-reinforce. You have to ask yourself some questions about these automatic thoughts. Here’s a big one: are these even thoughts? Maybe this won’t surprise you, but no,...
info_outlineNarcissism has become such a commonplace word that not only has it lost its specificity, but in doing so it has become difficult to identify the types of narcissistic behavior you might be dealing with. Dr. Henry Cloud wants you to learn what type of narcissistic patterns a person may have. Some narcissists can change for the better, and others can’t. Dr. Cloud describes the different underlying causes of this behavior and how you can address the entitlement that it presents as. In some cases you need to stay clear of these people, In other cases, through patience and love, they can find the vulnerability they need to become their real selves.
-Sarah has cut off contact with her mother but has family engagements where she can’t avoid her. How can she protect her sense of peace when her mother is around?
-Kimberly has experienced rejection, whether from romantic partners or her own kids. How can she stop ruminating and playing out regrets?
-Megan is a positive person, but when it comes to her future she has a really tough time seeing positive outcomes happening. What can she do to change her self-talk to something more positive?
Being estranged from someone you once were close to can be a painful reality to live in. Should you reconcile? When? How? How can we fix the pain of estrangement? Does it get easier? What is my role in this process? What is mine to own? What should I do?
Dr. Cloud wants to help you navigate this terrain. Go to https://boundaries.me/reconcile to find out more about the 2 hour live webinar with Dr. Cloud. Take advantage of early sale pricing before
If you want to call in or watch the show live, subscribe on YouTube and click the Bell icon. It will alert you whenever we go live and will be your cue to call in and ask Dr. Cloud for advice.
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