Epilogue • My Little Speaking Up
Blue Babies Pink
Brett's final thoughts on the journey of Blue Babies Pink...
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Episode 44 • Love Storms
Blue Babies Pink
NOTE: This is the finale of Blue Babies Pink. If you haven't read the previous 43 episodes, please do that before listening to Episode 44. Also, after listening to this one, be sure to check out the Epilogue for the final wrap-up.
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Episode 43 • Tears on a Boat Dock
Blue Babies Pink
"I sprinted down that path, through the trees, all the way out to the boat dock—heaving, shaking, and sobbing as I ran. I felt like I might choke, fighting for breath. My face poured wet salt onto the summer grass below..."
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Episode 42 • Someone to Run Home To
Blue Babies Pink
"I began to think a lot then about the role of a spouse, of a companion. I'd never been in anything close to a meaningful relationship, and I'd slammed the door on love years before, so I was clueless about it all."
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Episode 41 • Questions for God
Blue Babies Pink
"My whole life, I'd been taught that God's design for the world was men and women getting married and making babies. This formed family units which were the building blocks of society. So it made sense that the institution of marriage would lead to great human flourishing."
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Episode 40 • Brain Blanks
Blue Babies Pink
Brett appears on a Christian TV show and disaster strikes...
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Episode 39 • Decade-Long Battles
Blue Babies Pink
"March 14 was the day I thought God cursed my testicles..."
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Episode 38 • Elvis and Larry
Blue Babies Pink
"And while death is inevitable, we still have to live. We still have to do our best to use our lives well. This is one of the great paradoxes of life: That our time on earth is both utterly precious and completely insignificant."
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Episode 37 • Growing Old, But Not Quite Growing Up
Blue Babies Pink
"Every wedding was a little funeral for me. I held a little sad ceremony in my heart...a ceremony for one..."
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Episode 36 • Anxiety
Blue Babies Pink
Trip(s) to the ER...
info_outline"Yet while I was praying against it, I was simultaneously denying that same-sex attraction was a thing in my life.
Back then, I denied that same-sex attraction was an intrinsic part of me.
If anything, it was a clinger, a hanger-on, an invader, a tumor, a trespasser, a most unwelcome guest.
It's like the 1986 movie Aliens, where Sigourney Weaver fights off a horde of alien invaders inside her spaceship. Same-sex attraction was like one of those aliens—not part of the ship—just freeloading, wreaking havoc, and ripping people apart. So it was simply a matter of beating it back into outer space.
The problem with fighting same-sex attraction is that, unlike a 12-foot tall alien, it's invisible.
You know it's there. You see its effects. But you can't touch it, can't punch it, can't roast it with your flame-thrower.
You feel like a shirtless old man in whitey-tighties swinging wildly in the night at a ghost he swears he's heard a thousand times. And fighting an invisible enemy is something crazy people do. Being gay can make you feel crazy sometimes."