How Unforgiveness Leads to Self-Destruction

Music written and generously provided by Paul Jernberg. Find out more about his work as a composer here: http://pauljernberg.com Some highlights from the video: "More and more, such pragmatic thinkers are discovering that religion and certain religious practices… just work – even if we don’t understand how. Study after study concludes that religious people are generally more happy and at peace than their non-practicing pears. Which is why psychologists like Dr. Jordan Peterson are eager to embrace the idea that even if you don’t know if God exists, it’s a good idea to act like he does – because – it works. It works for all the kinds of afflictions someone like him is responsible for helping relieve. " "Unresolved conflict and forgiveness are related to important relationships in your life. I’m not talking about the guy who cut you off in traffic or the person who was rude to you at the coffee shop, because those things are easy to forget about and move on. I’m talking about important relationships because when people who you share some intimate aspect of your life with hurt you, it can be extremely hard not to resent them and almost impossible to forget them. And this presents you with a choice. Every time you think of that person, you can indulge your anger and resentment and even thoughts of revenge – or you can choose to forgive them. If you choose the former – think about what that entails and to help illustrate this, I’m going to amplify the principle with an example that probably a lot of people can relate to. Imagine a parent who has done something that has seriously hurt you – like, I don’t know, splitting up your family by getting divorced – not uncommon right, but also extremely hurtful for everyone involved. Now imagine one parent is more to blame, like they had an affair or something. Well, you’re going to be confronted with your own emotional anger over what they did, and that’s to be expected. We should be angered by that kind of wrong behaviour. But if you nurture that anger, as a habit, so that it doesn’t recede, if you regularly feed it so that it grows in intensity and becomes something like hatred for that person, then think about what that does to you. Because that person, is going to feature significantly in your life up until that point. You will have memories of all the most important events in your life that include that person. Think about holidays, family events, formative moments in your life, graduations, weddings, the birth of your children. In order to hate that person, you will simultaneously be training yourself to hate important aspects of your own life – IOW you will be training yourself to hate, yourself by hating important parts of yourself."