The Importance of Kindness: Brothers In Arms TV EP 15
Brothers In Arms TV
In this episode, the brothers enjoy a discussion of one of their favorite shows, Ted Lasso, highlighting the value that is placed on kindness within it. We explore the importance of kindness in the world, how hungry people actually are for it, and why some push it away. Dr. Dan sheds light on this last point, noting that all of the traumatic experiences people carry can make connecting a scary thing, but that consistent kindness can break through and help people grow. As has come to be the case on Brothers in Arms, Edgar, Eric, and Dr. Dan have become very comfortable talking with each other...
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The Impact of Bullying: Brothers In Arms TV EP 14
Brothers In Arms TV
On this episode of Brothers in Arms, the brothers talk about bullying, with Eric kicking things off with a number of stats he found in his research. Included in this, he notes that 31% of all adults report having been bullied at some point in their adult lives, while Dr. Dan and Edgar felt this number is likely to be an underreporting of the reality. The brothers touch on the many varieties of bullying and Eric and Edgar have many questions for Dr. Dan about how to handle this with kids. Dr. Dan encourages listening before taking any action so that you can find out what is really happening and...
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The Impact of Choices in Parenting: Brothers in Arms TV EP13
Brothers In Arms TV
In this episode of Brothers in Arms, we welcome back Robb Davon-Butler to talk more about parenthood in many of its varied experiences. We begin with Eric’s statistics (Old News) as he notes several seismic shifts in our culture from the last parenting generation to this one, particularly noting that men spend around three times as much more time with their kids as our parents did. The brothers explore the good parts, the pressures, and the different ways we have of looking at it in today’s ideology, laughing at some aspects and commiserating and consoling on others. Robb is, yet again, an...
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The Impact of Fatherhood: Brothers In Arms TV EP12
Brothers In Arms TV
n this episode of Brothers in Arms, Edgar, Eric, and Dr. Dan welcome Rob Davon-Butler to the show and the brothers discuss the many facets of fatherhood. Rob shares a concern that, in an effort to correct all of the things about which he suffered as a child, he may have taken things too far and not prepared his kids for the reality of the world. Dr. Dan encourages him that he has done a good job putting all of his love into them and that he can always now make adjustments. Eric brings the stats, as always, and we find staggering numbers on the impact of the absence of fathers — something 1/4...
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Toxic masculinity; who does it harm the most? Brothers In Arms TV Ep. 11
Brothers In Arms TV
In this episode of Brothers in Arms, the brothers are back to look at some of the most difficult to explore topics — today, toxic masculinity. Eric brings the research, as always, and we find out where the term toxic masculinity comes from in the first place (shout out to the 80s). One of the most enlightening moments comes in our exploration of how men can be toxic to themselves, as they feel tied into preconceived notions about what it is to be a man. We also consider the effects this can ultimately have on others, as these men can take that toxicity and bring it to each other in groups or...
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The Pros and Cons of Narcissism: Brothers In Arms TV EP10
Brothers In Arms TV
n this episode of Brothers in Arms, we’re back to the three amigos. We jump right into Old News, focusing on some celebrities who have been accused of thinking in narcissistic ways and discuss what makes someone an actual narcissist. Dr. Dan sheds some light on narcissism as more of a developmental issue than a built in flaw of the person, but also notes that it is very unlikely for these people to get the full help they need because they can’t recognize their problem and are motivated, in fact, to not even question it. In Breaking the Mold, the brothers revisit the idea of mani pedis and...
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The Struggle for Men in Mourning: Brothers In Arms TV EP9
Brothers In Arms TV
In this episode of Brothers in Arms, the Brothers welcome Momo Rodriguez to the the show. Momo lost his mother to Covid this past year and Edgar and he bonded over having had the same thing occur to him and a very similar experience of these tragic events. We begin with Eric providing some research numbers, including the fact that men are more likely to die of Covid and, even more so, when they fall in the age rage of 40-59. Edgar, Eric, and Dr. Dan explore with Mom why men tend to put themselves in vulnerable spots out of stubborn pride, and more, but the group settles on their being less...
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YOU ARE WORTH LIVING! Brothers In Arms TV EP8
Brothers In Arms TV
This very special episode of Brothers in Arms brings on our first guest, comedian Nick Alexander. Our theme today relates to his Walking the Walk segment, as both he and Edgar lost a mutual friend to suicide one year ago — an event that turned out to be the biggest thrust of the creation of this show. We start with questions for Dr. Dan, including Nick wondering about how to deal with resentment, which ties into his experience of losing his good friend and having to try to operate normally after that. Eric brings up the numbers on suicide which helps the Brothers discuss this issue,...
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Why Men Struggle with Self Esteem: Brothers in Arms TV, EP7
Brothers In Arms TV
In this episode of Brothers in Arms, Eric has a question for Dr. Dan about the things men try to do to increase self esteem that end up backfiring. Dr. Dan shares that anything that genuinely makes you feel good about you, and aligns with who you are, will always increase your self esteem. But the doc notes that there are plenty of efforts to do this that stem from false motivations or are designed to defend the self against bad feelings. These are the things that are actually harmful to self esteem, even if they were initially meant to help. In Old News, the Brothers look at some statistics...
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Domestic Abuse Against Men: Brothers In Arms TV EP6
Brothers In Arms TV
Edgar, Eric, and Dr. Dan continue to find ways to talk openly about all kinds of difficult topics and to pinpoint what opens doors or closes them off. In the roundtable discussion, after some fun joking to loosen things up, the Brothers in Arms take up the conversation about vaccinations and the judgments people make about the people who make different decisions and all three men agree that having less judgment in the discussion would allow for people to talk more freely and make better decisions. The group then returns to some of the surprising statistics on domestic violence against men and...
info_outlineOn this episode of Brothers in Arms, Edgar, Eric, and Dr. Dan explore a topic that is rarely covered: domestic abuse against men. Edgar kicks things off by bringing in a question from a female viewer about how to leave ‘the devil’ behind, referring to her dead husband, who was physically and emotionally abusive to her. We consider how she can manage her internal experience to let herself hate him, while doing a good job externally to see the other sides of him, particularly where her eleven year old son is concerned, as he sees him as a hero of the police force. We talked about the importance of letting in the full reality with her son, however, as well, as he can also see multiple sides of his father and seeing the reality helps.
In Old News (Maybe From Yesterday), Eric brings the statistical heat, as we find out what the CDC numbers say about the frequency of men as domestic victims and all three Brothers are surprised. We talk about why men shy away from talking about these topics and link it, most primarily, to a sense of shame.
This leads us directly into Edgar ‘walking the walk’, and this episode is not for the faint of heart. He relates his experience of seven years in an abusive relationship with an ex-girlfriend and we explore the societal expectations that make talking about such things feel shameful and difficult. But Edgar also reveals that this perpetuation eventually got so dangerous that she attacked him with a knife. The scene is terrifying and Eric and Dr. Dan help Edgar to recognize why he doesn’t remember those years so well and how much more processing this might take as we plan to explore it further in the next episode and beyond.