Hello, and welcome to America’s First Ladies. I’m your host, Risa Weaver-Enion.
Episode 1.11: Home at Last
When we left off last week, George and Martha had returned home to Mount Vernon for good, after eight long years of the presidency. Just like after the war, they came back to a dilapidated estate in need of attention. Martha wrote, “We once more (and I am very sure never to quit it again) got seated under our own Roof, more like new beginners than old established residenters, as we found every thing in a deranged [state], & all the buildings in a decaying state.” She wasn’t exaggerating. The floor in the dining room was collapsing, marble mantels were falling off the walls, and everything needed a fresh coat of paint.
George was once again happily absorbed with construction plans and planting schedules. He wrote to a friend, “I am surrounded by joiners, masons, painters, etc etc,. I have scarcely a room to put a friend into or to set in myself, without the music of hammers, or the odiferous smell of paint.”
In a turn that we modern listeners will recognize, as soon as he was out of office, the press stopped harassing George. One observer wrote, “Although his opponents eventually deemed it expedient to vilify his character, that they might diminish his political influence, yet the moment that he retired from public life, they returned to their expressions of veneration and esteem.”
Martha hired a local woman to serve as a sort of household steward, knowing that she was now too old to handle management of the housekeeping on her own. Eighteen-year-old Nelly was also an enormous help, entertaining guests by playing her harpsichord and singing, and tending to ill family members.
Nelly also spent a fair bit of time with her sisters. Patty and Eliza were both living in the new capital, which was technically called Federal City but was starting to be known as Washington City. She also had many friends in Alexandria. Her grandparents figured she was much more likely to find a husband in one of these cities than hanging around Mount Vernon.
In addition to George’s work repairing the house and working up crop plans, he spent a lot of time dealing with the properties he owned in the new capital, as well as gathering and organizing his official presidential letters for publication. And then of course there were the visitors. Mount Vernon had always received a lot of visitors, but George was more famous now than ever, and the tide of company never seemed to end. In July, George wrote to a friend, “unless someone pops in unexpectedly, Mrs. Washington and I will do what I believe has not been within the last twenty years by us, that is to sit down to dinner by ourselves.”
In August 1797, George asked one of his nephews, Lawrence Lewis, to come live at Mount Vernon as a sort of deputy host. George needed more freedom from entertaining guests and thought Lawrence could stand in for him. Lawrence was 30 years old and a widower. His wife had died in childbirth, as had the child.
In his letter to Lawrence asking him to take the position, George wrote, “As both your Aunt and I are in the decline of life, and regular in our habits, especially in our hours of rising and going to bed; I require some person (fit and proper) to ease me of the trouble of entertaining company; particularly of Nights, as it is my inclination to retire…either to bed or to my study, soon after candle light.” Lawrence accepted and came to live at Mount Vernon.
In September 1797, Wash was expelled from Princeton where he had been “studying” for about a year. I put “studying” in quotation marks because he was as hopeless a student as his father Jack had been. George was exasperated with Wash, and after consulting with Wash’s step-father David Stuart, they decided to enroll him at St. John’s College in Annapolis, knowing that it was probably pointless. George wrote to the head of the school, “there seems to be in this youth an unconquerable indolence of temper and a dereliction to all study.” Wash would eventually be kicked out of St. John’s as well.
On George’s birthday in February 1798, he, Martha, and Nelly attended a ball in Alexandria. Nelly spent most of that winter in Washington City, attending a number of balls, cotillions, and tea parties, some thrown in her honor. But Nelly wasn’t interested in any of the young men she met at these balls and parties, and she returned to Mount Vernon to be with her grandparents.
The summer of 1798 was another tense one, politically, and quite nearly dragged George back into public service. Without getting too bogged down in the details, the government of France, which was still in the midst of its Revolution, was becoming increasingly belligerent toward the United States, seizing American ships at sea and refusing to accept the credentials of the American ambassador to France. The possibility of war between America and France was coming dangerously close.
President John Adams asked George to command the American army once again. George reluctantly accepted, but said that he would take the field only if France invaded America. George spent six weeks in Philadelphia that summer, organizing the army. But thankfully, France didn’t invade, and gradually the threat of war receded without George ever having to formally go back to army command.
When George returned to Mount Vernon from Philadelphia, he discovered that Nelly and his nephew Lawrence had become engaged while he was away. No one had seen this coming. Nelly was intelligent and vivacious, and Lawrence was not at all lively, but he was kind. Most biographers speculate that the fact that Lawrence was related to her beloved grandfather was part of the attraction, as was the fact that they would be able to live near Mount Vernon. If she had married someone from another part of Virginia, or even from another state, she would have had to leave her grandparents behind, and she couldn’t bring herself to do that.
In a letter to a friend shortly before the wedding, Nelly wrote, “Cupid a small mischievous Urchin who has been trying some time to humble my pride, took me by surprise…in the very moment that I had…made the sage and prudent resolve of passing through my life, as a prim starched Spinster…& thought my Heart impenetrable he slyly called in Lawrence Lewis to his aid, & transfixed me with a Dart, before I knew where I was.”
Nelly and Lawrence were married in a candlelight ceremony at Mount Vernon on George’s 67th birthday, February 22, 1799. George gave her away wearing his old Continental Army uniform. Per Virginia tradition, the wedding festivities lasted for about a week. Nelly and Lawrence then departed for a round of visits to family and friends. When they returned to Mount Vernon after a few months away, Nelly was pregnant. George offered them 2000 acres of land within the Mount Vernon estate where they could build a house of their own. In the meantime, they lived at Mount Vernon.
Nelly gave birth to a girl November 27, 1799. Her mother and sisters came to Mount Vernon a few days before, when it was clear that Nelly was in labor. They named her Frances Parke Lewis, thus bringing the Parke naming tradition back into play. The girl was even nicknamed Parke, rather than Fanny, which was the usual nickname for Frances.
Nelly’s mother had never borne children easily. She had always suffered greatly and taken a long time to recover from childbirth. And the poor woman suffered at least 20 pregnancies in her life. Thankfully, young Nelly didn’t seem to have as much trouble with childbirth. Within a few days of the birth, Nelly’s mother could see that Nelly was faring well, and she returned to Hope Park.
Nelly was ordered by the doctor to remain in bed until she recovered from the physical strain of giving birth, which was expected to be a few weeks. But Martha was there to care for her.
On December 9, Lawrence and Wash set out for a trip down to New Kent County to check on Wash’s estate lands there (the old Custis lands passed from Daniel Sr. to Jack to Wash). George stayed behind to work on some crop rotation plans for his own estate.
By December 12, the weather was already cold and snowy, and George went out for his usual daily rounds on the estate, despite snow that morning, followed by hail and cold rain. He returned uncharacteristically late for dinner and didn’t bother to change out of his cold, wet clothes. The next day he had a sore throat but went out again anyway to supervise the removal of some trees. By dinner that evening, he was growing hoarse.
Very early the next morning (more like the middle of the night), he woke Martha because his sore throat was worse, and he was having trouble breathing. She wanted to get up and call the doctor, but he wanted her to wait until the slaves lit the fireplaces. The house was freezing cold without the fires, and he didn’t want her to get sick too.
When the house slave came to light the fire, Martha asked her to fetch Tobias Lear, who was once again living with the Washingtons at Mount Vernon and helping George organize his official papers. Tobias sent for the doctor, and Martha prepared one of her home remedies for sore throats. She had used this concoction many times for George and others in the past. But one of the primary ingredients was molasses, and George could barely swallow the remedy.
As the day progressed, not one, but three doctors were sent for. George was bled with leeches repeatedly, which was 18th century medicine’s response to everything. Tobias seemed to think George had quinsy, which is a severe sore throat. They didn’t know this at the time, but quinsy is also called a peritonsillar abscess, and is a complication of tonsillitis, which is often caused by the same bacteria that cause strep throat. A pus-filled pocket forms near one of the tonsils and makes swallowing and breathing difficult. George had almost died of quinsy during the war.
Later in the afternoon, George asked Martha to go to his study and retrieve his two wills. There was an older one written in 1775 as he headed off to war, and a new one he had just written earlier that year. He asked her to burn the older one. Other than fetching medicines and the wills, Martha was with him the entire day. It was at least the third time she had sat by what was expected to be George’s deathbed.
George asked for Lawrence and Wash, but they were still in New Kent. George then asked the doctors to stop treating him. He said, “Doctor I die hard but I am not afraid to go. I believed from my first attack I should not survive it. I feel myself going. I thank you for your attentions, but I pray you to take no more trouble about me. Let me go off quietly; I cannot last long.”
Later that night, around 10 pm, he said to Tobias Lear, “I am just going. Have me decently buried and do not let my body be put into the vault in less than three days after I am dead.” After confirming that Tobias understood and would follow his wishes, George said, “Tis well.” A short time later, around 10:20 pm on December 14, 1799, George Washington died.
Martha was sitting at the foot of his bed and finally asked if George was gone. Tobias lifted a hand in an affirmative gesture. Martha then said, “Tis well. All is now over. I shall soon follow him. I have no more trials to pass through.”
You might have noticed that George’s last recorded words were instructions to Tobias rather than some sort of sweet farewell to his wife of more than 40 years. The records of what happened when George died come from Tobias Lear’s diary and some notes made by one of the doctors. It’s quite possible neither of them thought it was important or proper to record George’s parting words to his wife.
George’s body was removed and taken downstairs. It was laid out on the dining room table, which seems like an odd place to put a corpse. Undoubtedly there was no other table large enough to accommodate George’s giant body.
Martha never again entered the bedroom she and George had shared. Instead she made her bedroom a small room inconveniently located in the attic up a narrow staircase. From the window she could see the family burial vault.
Over the next couple of days, Patty Custis Peter and her family arrived, as did Eliza Custis Law and her family. Nelly and David Stuart came with their children. Lawrence and Wash did not return to Mount Vernon until after George’s burial. Martha instructed Tobias to order a casket from Alexandria, and it was delivered on December 17. George was buried in the Mount Vernon vault the following day.
Martha did not leave her room to attend the funeral, and Nelly was still confined from her pregnancy. It’s likely that they each watched the funeral procession from their windows. Helen Bryan describes the funeral in detail in her book, Martha Washington: First Lady of Liberty.
“The procession consisted of troops on horses and on foot, a military band playing a dirge, members of the clergy, George’s riderless horse with his saddle, holster, and pistols led by house slaves Cyrus and Wilson, dressed in black. The coffin was carried by Freemasons and officers.” The same minister who had performed Nelly and Lawrence’s wedding ceremony earlier that year also performed the funeral service, at Martha’s request.
Tobias Lear wrote to his mother that he wasn’t sure the reality of George’s death had fully sunk in for Martha. “She has preserved the same pious fortitude. It afflicts me to see her. The world now appears no longer desirable to her—and yet she yields not to grief.” While it’s unknown whether Martha finally did give in to her grief and cry over the loss of her husband, it is known that she never left Mount Vernon after his death, not even to attend church.
Government leaders attended a memorial service held in Philadelphia, along with more than 4000 other people. Henry “Lighthorse Harry” Lee, a Revolutionary War comrade of George’s began his eulogy, “First in war, first in peace and first in the hearts of his countrymen, he was second to none in the humble and endearing scenes of private life.”
On December 23, Congress passed a resolution asking all Americans to wear a crepe mourning band on their arms for 30 days. They also passed a resolution to write a letter of condolence to Martha, wherein they also requested that George’s body be interred in the Capitol building. Martha was presumably grieved by this request, because it meant that she would not be able to be buried next to George when she died. But bowing to her sense of duty once more, she agreed to the request. Thankfully, the transfer never took place, and George remains in the family vault at Mount Vernon.
Because George had no sons of his own, his heir had originally been his nephew George Augustine. After George Augustine died, another nephew named Bushrod Washington became his heir. But Martha had the right to control and receive the income of the entire estate for her lifetime. She and Bushrod stayed in close communication over various estate details, including selling off some properties and personal goods.
George had decided to free all of his slaves in his revised will, the one he wrote not long before he died. This obviously didn’t apply to any of the dower slaves that Martha had inherited from her first husband Daniel. George thought that losing 123 of the total 300 slaves on the estate would be too difficult for Martha, so he stipulated that they would not be freed until after Martha died. And this is how George inadvertently created a situation where 123 people would be enormously better off if one old woman died.
Abigail Adams visited Martha at Mount Vernon in December 1800 and later wrote, “in the state in which [the slaves] were left by the General, to be free at her death, she did not feel as tho her Life was safe in their Hands, many of whom would be told it was there interest to get rid of her—She therefore was advised to set them all free at the close of the year.”
There was at least one documented incident where someone tried to set fire to Mount Vernon. It’s not known whether it was a slave trying to speed Martha’s demise, but it certainly made her fears worse. On January 1, 1801, just over a year after George’s death, Martha freed all of the Mount Vernon slaves subject to George’s will. Some of the freed slaves stayed at Mount Vernon to continue living with their families still in bondage, but some left.
Martha was inundated with letters and visits after George’s death. Every letter was replied to, but Tobias and Nelly often wrote the replies on Martha’s behalf. The amount of mail was so substantial that Congress granted Martha “franking” rights, which meant she could send mail without paying postage.
Visitors making the pilgrimage to Mount Vernon continued to be received graciously. Because Nelly was living at Mount Vernon, she handled a lot of the hostess duties on her grandmother’s behalf, but Nelly’s elder sisters and mother were also frequently on hand to help entertain the never-ending stream of well-wishers.
In December 1800, the nation’s capital officially moved from Philadelphia to Washington City, and many government officials took advantage of proximity to Mount Vernon to pay Martha visits. Her old nemesis, Thomas Jefferson, had won the presidential election of 1800. One visitor in early 1802 recorded this account: “We were all Federalists, which evidently gave her particular pleasure. Her remarks were frequently pointed, and sometimes very sarcastic, on the new order of things and the present administration. She spoke of the election of Mr. Jefferson, whom she considered as one of the most detestable of mankind, as the greatest misfortune our country had ever experienced.”
Martha made her own will in 1800. She could not bequeath any property or slaves to her heirs, but she had cash, bonds, investments, a plot of land in Alexandria that was a gift from George, and the contents of the house at Mount Vernon. She made such detailed bequests to her grandchildren, extended family, and friends that supposedly the only thing remaining in the house when Bushrod Washington took possession was a portrait of Lawrence Washington.
Martha and the house at Mount Vernon continued to deteriorate throughout 1801. Nelly took over most of the management of the house, but without George’s meticulous oversight of the estate at large, things were slipping. Notes from the Mount Vernon Ladies’ Association recount the following: “Visitors to Mount Vernon recorded disrepair and shabbiness, which reflected the loss of both George Washington’s strong management ability and attention to detail, as well as Mrs. Washington’s depression. One visitor noted about the stable that it had ‘nothing in its appearance very neat or remarkable’ and told of seeing a barnyard, ‘which is not very clean’ … a situation Washington would have abhorred. Of the furnishings in the mansion, this same individual remarked that ‘in general, it may be said of the furniture, chairs, carpet, and hangings, &c. that they had seen their best days.’”
The same could be said of Martha herself.
In early May 1802, Martha fell ill with bilious fever, which was an affliction she suffered from intermittently throughout her life. The term isn’t used any more, but in the 18th century it was used to describe any fever accompanied by nausea or vomiting. Often the underlying cause was malaria, and Martha had certainly had malaria more than once in her life. It was a common illness in colonial and early American Virginia.
She was sick for three weeks, but seemed to know, much like George had, that this was going to be her final illness. Her relatives gathered with her in the small room she had occupied since George’s death.
Her granddaughters and their spouses were all there, along with Wash and the Stuart family. At noon on May 22, 1802, Martha Dandridge Custis Washington died, 11 days short of her 71st birthday. Her son-in-law Thomas Law wrote, “Fortitude & resignation were display’d throughout, she met death as a relief from the infirmities & melancholy of old age.”
She had chosen a white gown to be buried in. Her body rested in the main dining room for three days, and then she was buried in the family vault at Mount Vernon, alongside her husband George and her daughter Patsy.
One of the obituaries summed up her life this way: “On Saturday the 22nd of May at 12 o’clock P.M. Mrs. Washington terminated her well spent life….She was the worthy partner of the worthiest of men, and those who witnessed their conduct could not determine which excelled in their different characters, both were so well sustained on every occasion. They lived an honor and a pattern to their country, and are taken from us to receive the rewards—promised to the faithful and the just.”
Martha was certainly more than just the worthy partner of George Washington, but if it hadn’t been for her famous second husband, we wouldn’t be here today learning about her life. Before I offer my personal concluding thoughts, I want to share some passages from the biographies I read that I think get to the heart of the matter.
From Patricia Brady’s Martha Washington: An American Life, “George Washington was the indispensable man to the success of the American Revolution, and Martha Washington was the indispensable woman to him. He could bear all those years away from home, creating a national army, because she spent part of every year with him, no matter how awful the conditions in camp might be. Their mutual love, confidence, and support helped keep him going in the face of every disappointment, setback, and defeat. Every year she made a home for him, where he could rest and refresh his spirits until it was time to go back in the field another time, for however long it took to win the war. Out of those eight and a half years that he spent in command of the army, she was with him for nearly five, more than half the war, in stays ranging from three to ten months. Martha was truly the secret weapon of the American Revolution.”
In The General and Mrs. Washington, Bruce Chadwick writes, “Much of Martha’s popularity emanated from her years living with the army in the winters of the Revolution. Americans placed a high value on participation in the Revolution because so many men—nearly two hundred and forty thousand, or 40 percent of the able-bodied men in the country—had taken part in it. That meant that, adding in soldiers’ parents, wives, and children, most of the people in the country had been connected to the war in some way. The heroes of the Revolution that the people so admired, people like Washington, Hamilton, Jefferson, Adams, Madison, and Knox, became the idols of post-Revolutionary America. Martha, as the hardworking and long-suffering commander’s wife, was one of them. The women who gave their husbands to the army to fight for the cause saw themselves in Martha, who had also sent her husband off to war.”
And finally, in her book Martha Washington: First Lady of Liberty, Helen Bryan quotes a late 19th century biography of Martha, recognizing her role in the first two terms of the American presidency: “That the two persons who were destined to give form and balance to the political and social function of the republic should have come from the most aristocratic of the Colonies, and from its most refined and exclusive circle, must be looked upon as something more than a happy accident, unless we count birth, breeding, early surroundings, and all the circumstances that go to form character, simply accidents. An executive mansion presided over by a man and woman who combined with the most ardent patriotism a dignity, elegance and moderation that would have graced the court of any Old World sovereign, saved the social functions of the new nation from the crudeness and bald simplicity of extreme republicanism, as well as from the luxury and excess that often mark the sudden elevation to power and place of those who have spent their early years in obscurity.”
For my part, I’m fascinated by all the twists of fate that brought Martha to her famous role as George Washington’s wife. If her first husband had lived longer—even by a few years—Martha wouldn’t have married George because he would have married someone else by then.
If Martha’s first husband hadn’t been fabulously wealthy, making her the most eligible widow in Virginia, would George have married her? Quite possibly not. He needed her money as much as he needed her emotional support.
If Martha’s daughter Patsy hadn’t died young of epilepsy, Martha never would have been able to leave Mount Vernon to spend the winters of the war with George in camp. Would the Americans even have won their war of independence if George hadn’t had his wife there to keep up his spirits and give him the mental and emotional support he needed to keep the Continental Army from disintegrating? It’s doubtful.
And if George had actually died in one of the many near-misses he experienced in his long years of military service, starting with the failed attack that killed his superior officer General Braddock way back in 1755, he wouldn’t have been the first President, and Martha wouldn’t have been the first First Lady. And we wouldn’t be here talking about either of them.
Martha showed amazing fortitude throughout her life. She outlived two husbands, all her siblings, and all four of her children. She traveled long distances under difficult circumstances over and over again to support her beloved husband. She lived in a time when a woman’s sole role was to care for her husband and children, but Martha went beyond that role by serving as a sounding board and confidante for her husband, and by setting a standard for future women to follow in their public role as First Lady.
So that’s a wrap on Martha Washington! I hope you enjoyed learning more about her life as much as I did. Our next subject will be Abigail Adams, wife of John Adams. We’ll take a short break before we dive into Abigail’s episodes, but I hope you’ll join me for season 2. If you’re following the podcast in your podcast player, then the new episodes will automatically download for you.
In the meantime, if you’re curious to learn more about the American Revolution, there’s a podcast called Revolutions that you should check out. The host Mike Duncan covered the American Revolution in season 2, and then the French Revolution in season 3. It’s a really good podcast for fans of history.
And if you ever find yourself in Washington, D.C. or Northern Virginia, I highly recommend a visit to Mount Vernon. I did a tour there quite a few years ago, and it was really interesting. The house has been well preserved, the grounds are beautiful, and the tour guides are all really knowledgeable.
Lastly, if you’re enjoying this podcast, I would love it if you recommended it to someone. The best way for my audience to grow is via recommendations from listeners. And if you haven’t yet left a rating or review, that would also be super helpful. Thanks for listening—I appreciate you!
As always, this episode was produced by me. The music is by Matthew Dull. Bye for now!