When Pregnancy Equals Panic: Alexia's Tokophobia Story

What happens when pregnancy fear runs so deep it shapes your entire life? In this raw and revealing episode, co-host Alexia Leachman opens up about her own journey with tokophobia — the crippling fear of pregnancy and childbirth. With co-host JJ Stenhouse guiding the conversation, Alexia unpacks how this hidden anxiety disorder can blindside you, how she battled (and beat) her own fears, and why most women suffering in silence aren’t “broken” — they’ve simply never been told what’s really going on.

Blending humour, honesty, and hard-won wisdom, this episode is a compassionate deep dive into the lived reality of tokophobia, the grief of missed opportunities, and the possibility of genuine healing.

Key discussion points:

• Discovering Tokophobia: Alexia’s shock at her intense terror on discovering she was pregnant, and how relief after miscarriage signalled something deeper than “normal” anxiety.

• Grief and Mental Health: The impact of losing her mother, years of unaddressed anxiety and depression, and how these complicated her response to pregnancy.

• Relationships and Reproductive Choices: How unrecognised tokophobia kept her from conversations about motherhood, shaped her relationship, and delayed family planning.

• Facing the Fear: Alexia’s struggle to find help, her frustration with the lack of pathways or language for what she was experiencing, and the inadequacy of “just do hypnobirthing” advice.

• Breakthroughs in Healing: How Alexia used mindset tools from her coaching background to address her deepest fears — even banishing a lifelong phobia of needles in under five minutes.

• From Dread to Home Birth: The journey from wanting to be knocked out for a c-section to choosing (and loving) a home birth, all by clearing fear layer by layer.

• The Aftermath: Realising (post-birth!) what tokophobia is, and how sharing her story led to other women seeking her help, eventually sparking her fear-free childbirth podcast and book.

• The Hidden Costs of Silence: Looking back, Alexia recognises how tokophobia shaped her identity, sex life, career choices, and friendships — even when she didn’t know it had a name.

• Calling Out the System: The frustration that health services and society still miss the signs, with women either dismissed or fast-tracked to surgery instead of support.

• A Message of Hope: Why healing is truly possible — often faster than you think — and how Alexia now helps others break free from the cage of reproductive fear.

This episode is for you if:

• You feel paralysed or overwhelmed at the idea of pregnancy, birth, or even talking about babies — but you’re not sure why.

• You’ve been told you’re just “anxious”, “not maternal”, or “odd”, and feel isolated or broken as a result.

• You’re already pregnant and terrified, desperate for answers that aren’t just “take a deep breath” or “book a c-section”.

• You suspect your struggles with intimacy, career focus, or relationships might be more deeply linked to the fear of pregnancy or birth.

• You’re a partner, professional, or friend trying to understand what a loved one is going through.

Whether you’re looking for language to describe what’s happening inside you, honest stories that validate your experience, or real hope that things can change — this episode is a safe, genuine space to begin.

Like what you hear? Subscribe, share, and join the conversation. You’re not alone, and there is a way forward.