Life Can Change In A Moment

This week on the show, we bring you the next Judge Judy, retired circuit Judge Mary Ann Chrzanowski.  I met her through Dr Judy Ho, who did the show earlier this year, Judge Mary and Dr Judy worked together on the tv shows The Doctors and Face the Truth.

Scary Mary, as she called herself to me, is a retired circuit judge from Michigan.  I found her moment to be inspiring and unique.

• [1:10] Our guest for today is Judge Mary Chrzanowski. She works together with Doctor Judy Hoe in a television show. Doctor Judy Hoe recommended Marry to guest at our show.
• Judge Mary is a retired circuit judge from Macomb County, Michigan. She presided over a variety of cases like major felony cases, divorce cases and civil cases.
• [3:22] Judge Mary’s year of experience was seen so much in divorces. She saw good people at their very worst in criminal cases. She saw bad people at their very best. Mary cried when she remembered the cases and the victims; it was very traumatic. Mary loved being a job but she felt burned out. She applied for a job as a Federal Administrator Law Judge working for the Social Security Department for only nine months because she can’t tolerate sitting in a room revealing medical records 8 hours a day.
• [6:30] Mary’s moment is when her cousin, who is also a judge told her to become a lawyer and become a judge. So she went to a courtroom and watched them. After that, she told herself that she wants to be a judge. At the age of 18, there no stopping her. She finished college in 3 years and went to law school. Mary failed the bar 3 times and when she passed the bar, she ran for the judge at 28 years old. She lost but nothing can stop her dreams. After two years, she ran again and won.
• [9:00] At the age of 30, Mary was elected and took her office at 31. She enjoys being a judge for 24 years. Nothing gets easy for her. When she was studying, she studied hard to get what she wants. When she gets confused, she always thinks of her career in the future.
• [11:20] The judge that she watches at that time was her cousin Robert Chrzanowski. In that courtroom, was planted some seed almost like a switch for Mary that set her track to become a judge. But unfortunately, you have to be an attorney first before becoming a judge. The law in Michigan says you have to be an attorney for five years before becoming a judge. There was no law like that when Mary initially run.
• [14:20] Mary thought at that time was the ability of the judge to help people change their lives. Until now, Mary still gets e-mails and Facebook requests wanting to be her friends because she saves them by giving them direction in life. Mary loves the criminal aspect of her job because she can give them direction and hopefully save their life. Mary said that most criminals need structure. They need direction. They need somebody to motivate them.
• [16:48] In her courthouse, one of their judges said everybody needs a high school education. Everybody needs that structure. Everybody needs to be proud of an accomplishment. Mary did not forget that and integrated it herself.
• [17:40] Mary can save people, especially on drug addiction cases because she was an alcoholic before. She can relate to people and understand the issues in addiction. It enables Mary to do a great job. They have drug courts where Mary enjoys which is a specialized court where they get people in and give them attention to help them with their issues.
• [20:30] Mary said that our judicial system and our criminal justice system is one of two things. It should be both rehabilitation and punishment. If we don’t rehabilitate them and purely punish them, we are going to come back in through the revolving door. That is happening right now because there was no money to rehabilitate, the way people should be rehabilitated. Mary said that employers should give a convict a chance to get a job.
• [24:00] The hardest part of Mary’s job was to put people in jail, but we don’t have alternative ways for that. That is why Mary said we need to start treating addiction because the majority of the cases are because of addiction issues. Most of their addiction came from their environment and trauma. One day, Mary encountered a young man in court because of drug selling. She found out that there was no record of abuse in his family. His parents asked Mary what they do wrong because they raised him well and gave him the best education. Mary doesn’t know to answer.
• [27:00] Judge Mary is not favored on drug legalization. She believes that we need some control because things will get out of hand. Mary believes that marijuana can help certain people, but is also concern about smoking marijuana while driving; it can affect your reaction time.
• [29:40] Judge Mary experience DUI arrest and almost killed her mother in a vehicular accident on Christmas eve two months after she became an attorney. At the age of 18, Mary was an alcoholic and she stopped drinking at the age of 40. She stopped drinking when her mom died and realized that the person who really loves her isn’t there anymore.
• [33:11] Mary stopped drinking and got obsessed with bicycling. That’s when she knows that she was done with alcohol. Mary replaced alcohol with bicycling. When she can’t bike in the winter because she lives in Michigan, she goes to the gym to bike. Now she also walks at the beach in Florida.
• [35:00] Mary was close to her mom. Her father died when she was 4.  She has four brothers who were older than her. Another reason that Mary drinks are because of her responsibility in the family. She had a great guy but her mother hated him because her mother was afraid to lose her. She decided that she does not want to live her life according to her mother’s life. She felt sorry for that.
• [37:00] Mary said that they are not perfect people. When they go to the bench, they bring a lot of stuff. All of the emotions that she can integrate into deciding cases and in people’s lives. Mary internalizes the case in front of her and relates it to what she experienced in her life. At the age of 16, she saw two dead men lying in front of their house. These experiences made Mary a better person and a judge.
• [39:00] Mary talks about a man and woman who broke in her home. She could call the judge but she did not do anything. She went into the hearing like everyone else. She said to the judge that she doesn’t want to put them in prison. She just wanted her stuff back. Mary did not get any of her stuff back but she hoped they appreciated that she did not put them in prison.
• [40:45] Mary retired as a circuit judge in 2016 and 2017 on her federal job. Mary stopped drinking in the same year her mother passed away. It is also the year when her brother was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. After 15 months, her brother died. In the past year, she lost her other two brothers. Fortunately, Mary has a strong will and did not go back to drinking.
• [42:13] For people who have an addiction, Mary said the first thing you have to recognize is that you have a problem and wanted to get help. You do it for yourself and not for your children or spouse. People should know that they can’t go back and if they had a relapse, it’s not the end of the world. They should pick up themselves and do it all over again until they get rid of it.
• [45:00] Judge Mary learned to deal with the difficult things she saw when she was a judge. She said that she has to put it on a shelf and leave it right there because there are more cases she has to deal with. Mary did not know how she does it but she was able to do it. It took her years before she developed the habit. Mary said that we need to look at judges who are suffering from PTSD. She did not think that it will happen to her.
• [47:07] Mary had a case of a young woman who got abducted and got killed on a trail. When someone asked her to join a fundraiser that she needs to walk to earn money, she joined. While walking alone, the case of the young woman come back at her and all of a sudden she got scared and never thought that it would happen to her.
• [49:00] Mary retired because she felt burned out. She was doing 25 to 30 cases a day, taking guilty pleas all day long. She had probation violators coming in and got tired. She wanted to change and thought that being an Administrative Law judge will help her and it did. 
• Mary felt she was fortunate to be interviewed by Lester Holt. She has a featured story in Dateline. Dateline NBC did a documentary. They followed Judge Mary for three months. They followed 3 or 4  of Mary’s drug court candidates and how the drug court changes their life. It was called Scary Mary Presiding. Mary was very flattered because Lester Hoft will only interview 3 or 4 people a year. The next thing she knew,  she was contacted by Stage 29 which is Dr. Phil. They asked her to come out and be on The Doctors and eventually get her own show.
• [51:34] Mary loves being on the show because she can say what she really wants to say, not like on the court. If Mary would have a show, it will be “Face The Truth,” where they will bring people with addiction issues, and in the end, they will give them rehab and put them on the right road. That’s what Mary wants to do in her life.
• [55:15] Mary wants to keep helping people recognize that there is a life out there. She wants to give them a chance. But these people should realize too that they are the only ones who can make the changes. Mary's message to the people who’s dream is to be judge, is never to let anybody tell you that you can’t do it. Because many people told Mary that she would not be elected and that she will not going to make it.
• [57:05] Mary was independent, and our judges don’t belong to any political party. In Mary’s mind, it is very special. She represents all the people, not just the democrats or just the republicans. Mary votes for the person, not the party lines. She votes for the person who is best for her. It puts Mary to quandary because she was thinking of running for prosecuting attorney at Macomb County Michigan.