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DZ-63: Tools for Better Dialogue (Part 2) - Hook and Eye

Draft Zero: a screenwriting podcast

Release Date: 12/31/2019

DZ-65: Collaborating with a Director - The Snip show art DZ-65: Collaborating with a Director - The Snip

Draft Zero: a screenwriting podcast

This episode, Chas steps down as co-host (kinda) and is interviewed by Stu as a guest, alongside director Ben Mizzi, about the short rom-com that Chas wrote and Ben directed & produced. The episode covers taking an idea from pitch to screen, working with a director, directing performance on the page, and marketing and distribution strategies for short films.

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Draft Zero: a screenwriting podcast

Stu and Chas indulge themselves by offering personal opinions based on their own personal experience. To that end, they discuss: what is and is not in your control in relation to an emerging writing career; choosing what project to develop next; using the Black List site to gain traction; the difference between treatments for pitching as opposed to for development; the difference in writing style when writing on spec as against work for hire; and guest David Wappel shares his thoughts on anchoring nouns.

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Draft Zero: a screenwriting podcast

Stu and Chas have kidnapped Stephen Cleary to once again develop some craft tools around dialogue. In Part 2 of this series, we analyse key scenes from films and TV shows famous for their dialogue, namely FLEABAG (Season 2, Episode 5), JUNO and DEADWOOD (The Pilot). The biggest tools we explore are: the hook and eye; how dialogue can reveal status and empathy; rhythm; contrast and affinity; and pacing.

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Draft Zero: a screenwriting podcast

In this final part of our series on unfilmables, Chas and Stu turn their critical eye to... each other’s work! They take their key learnings from the previous ep and apply them to rewriting scenes from their own projects. They discuss metaphors, emotional context, and how you can write tone on the page without resorting to unfilmables.

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Draft Zero: a screenwriting podcast

Chas and Stu continue their deep dive into how writing the “unfilmable” can enhance your script. Rather than looking at micro moments, they turn their gaze to ‘moments of awe’ — those often breathtaking cinematic moments that feel beyond writing. But are those scenes actually unscriptable?

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Draft Zero: a screenwriting podcast

In this episode, Chas and Stu deep dive into the controversial area of “unfilmables” — those alleged screenwriting sins, where a writer writes a line that (apparently) cannot be seen or heard. But many produced spec scripts use unfilmables to great effect. So how and why do they “get away with it”?

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Draft Zero: a screenwriting podcast

A short-shot into Avengers Endgame. What began as an exploration of how to dramatise character change swiftly became an exploration of how to position audience in relation to your characters. Do you want the audience empathising with the characters? Feeling what they are feeling in the moment? Or do you want your audience sympathising with your characters? Being rocked by surprise after the fact? Reminding your audience of their own personal relationship with the characters.

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Draft Zero: a screenwriting podcast

while we thought this episode would be an extension of our previous musings on exposition, in nearly every great scene we assessed, the characters basically said “screw talking about plot or backstory” and instead exposited about their character. How it feels to be them. How they have, or have not, changed.

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Draft Zero: a screenwriting podcast

It is time (in fact, well past time) for our semi-annual #Backmatter episode. For the uninitiated, this is an episode where Stu and Chas discuss career and craft-related topics beyond what makes great screenplays work. To that end, Stu and Chas dive into: a five year review of Draft Zero and how it has changed their writing craft and process; a discussion on the aesthetics of writing; learnings for emerging writers in having their work produced; and finally forgiving yourself for not writing.

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Draft Zero: a screenwriting podcast

Chas & Stu examine moments where they did not believe a key decision being made by a character and so were taken out of the movie. They apply the tools they developed in Part 1 to workshop potential fixes to these beats.

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How can you create flow and contrast in your dialogue?

A full three years after the first instalment (and one of our most popular), Stu and Chas have kidnapped Stephen Cleary to once again develop some craft tools around dialogue. It would be fair to say that - in that time - all three have learnt a lot more about dialogue than they knew in 2016. It would be also fair to say that Stephen perhaps learnt a little more through his research into “genderlect”.

In Part II, we analyse key scenes from films and TV shows famous for their dialogue, namely FLEABAG (Season 2, Episode 5), JUNO and DEADWOOD (The Pilot). The biggest tools we explore are: the hook and eye; how dialogue can reveal status and empathy; rhythm; contrast and affinity; and pacing.

And just to help us all out, Stephen rounds out the episode with some quick fire examples - FIVE EASY PIECES, JERRY MAGUIRE, GROSSE POINTE BLANK, and NOTTING HILL (again) -  and further dialogue tips.

Thanks to Chris Walker for editing this episode during the holiday season.

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Please considering rating or subscribing to us on Apple Podcasts! or sharing us on the Social Medias! We like finding new listeners. We are @stuwillis and @chasffisher on twitter. And you can find @draft_zero on Instagram and Twitter.

Many thanks to all our patrons but particularly to Theis, Jesse, Daniel, Jack, Chris, Khrob, Sandra, Nick, Matteo, and Carrie. They’re good humans.

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