loader from loading.io

Fighter: Episode 0 - Lances, Glaives, and Curving Arrows

Class Feature

Release Date: 08/17/2022

          GUNNER                                                          

               Hello, I am Gunner Gunn and this is Class Feature the      

               show where we feature each dungeons and dragons 5e         

               class with adventures inspired by Slavic folklore.         

               Before we begin, let’s all introduce ourselves. I’m        

               Gunner Gunn. I use they/them pronouns and I’ll be          

               playing the role of dungeon master today.                  

                                                                          

          HANNAH                                                          

               I can go next. My name is Hannah. I use she/they           

               pronouns and today I’m going to be playing Pip Squeak      

               the Owlin fighter, subclass cavalier, and Pip Squeak       

               uses she/her pronouns.                                     

                                                                          

          SPENCER                                                         

               Hi. I’m Spencer he/him and I’m going to be playing the     

               Firbolg battle master Kin-of-Moss; that’s a hyphenated     

               little thing there, who uses he/him pronouns or just it    

               and looking forward to doing so.                           

                                                                          

          CALLIE                                                          

               My name is Callie. I use she/her pronouns and I’m          

               playing Odette, who also uses she/her pronouns, who is     

               a goblin arcane archer.                                    

                                                                          

          GUNNER                                                           

               Awesome. Excellent. Alright this is more of a              

               supplementary episode we’ve got here where we’re going     

               to go over more of the mechanics of our character build    

               just so we don’t get too bogged down during actual         

               gameplay and have people be like "Whoa, why can they do    

               that?". If you’re ever wondering that, this is the         

               place to be, so yeah, we’re just going to go in and let    

               you know what’s happening on our character sheets          

               before we play. Alright, so first off: the basics that     

               I have set up for everyone is that we’re all fighters.     

               And by we I mean the three people that are not me are      

               all fighters.                                              

                                                                          

          HANNAH                                                          

               Oh, so you mean everyone in the town that we’re going      

               to be in are all fighters?                                 

                                                                           

          GUNNER                                                          

               Everyone is a fighter. Everyone. We’re starting at         

               level eight. We’re using the standard array from the       

               player’s handbook just to simplify things. You know,       

               just so everything’s on the level and we’ll be starting    

 

                                                                         

                                                                    

          GUNNER (cont’d)                                                 

               your starting equipment for your class and five hundred    

               gold pieces worth of items per rules of starting at a      

               later level adventure kind of thing. So yeah we’ll be      

               covering people’s subclasses because that’s what we’re     

               really highlighting here is the variety in each class.     

               So, yeah we can jump into what everyone’s doing, how       

               they do it, and what the heck that means. Hannah do you    

               want to go first?                                          

                                                                           

          HANNAH                                                          

               Sure. I can go first. Like I said at the top, Pip          

               Squeak is a cavalier, so you know, what’s at the heart     

               of a cavalier, if not their mount? And Pip Squeak’s        

               mount is called Mimi. This is not class relevant, just     

               a cute fact to hold on to for later. The things with a     

               cavalier, I’ve written and they are very small, but you    

               get the Born to Saddle Feature, which just means I have    

               advantage on saving throws to avoid falling from a         

               mount. If I don’t make that save, I still land on my       

               feet, I believe.                                           

                                                                          

          GUNNER                                                          

               Ooh, nice.                                                 

                                                                          

          HANNAH                                                           

               And the dismount and mount only costs me five feet of      

               movement as opposed to the standard half movement that     

               it would usually cost someone. I also have unwavering      

               mark. If I’m within that creature, that... within five     

               feet of that creature, they have disadvantage on           

               attacks to creatures other than me, if that makes          

               sense. Used the word creature a lot there.                 

                                                                          

          GUNNER                                                          

               Yeah, I’m sorry, I glazed over creature.                   

                                                                          

          SPENCER                                                         

               It’s like a taunt, perhaps.                                

                                                                          

          HANNAH                                                          

               Yeah.                                                       

                                                                          

          GUNNER                                                          

               Ok.                                                         

                                                                          

          HANNAH                                                          

               It means basically they can’t hit other people as well.    

                                                                           

          GUNNER                                                          

               Oh,so you’re like goading them.                            

                                                                           

          HANNAH                                                          

               Yeah.                                                      

                                                                           

          GUNNER                                                          

               Okay.                                                      

                                                                          

          HANNAH                                                          

               They can hit me really well, probably. Or like a normal    

               amount.                                                    

                                                                          

          GUNNER                                                          

               A normal amount, but they have disadvantage on other       

               people...                                                   

                                                                          

          HANNAH                                                          

               Other people if they’re... If the other people are         

               within 5 feet of me I think.                               

                                                                          

          SPENCER                                                         

               Mm hmm.                                                    

                                                                          

          CALLIE                                                          

               What kind of animal is Mimi?                               

                                                                          

          HANNAH                                                          

               Mimi is a goat. A mountain goat. See, the thing about      

               these things is that I’ve written them down in a short     

               form that is helpful for me during gameplay...             

                                                                          

          GUNNER                                                          

               Yeah, I mean...                                            

                                                                          

          HANNAH                                                           

               But is not useful for reading aloud.                       

                                                                          

          GUNNER                                                          

               That’s alright. We don’t have to go through the whole      

               subclass...                                                

                                                                           

          HANNAH                                                          

               Oh.                                                        

                                                                           

          GUNNER                                                          

               If you...                                                  

                                                                          

          HANNAH                                                          

               Ok.                                                        

                                                                          

          GUNNER                                                           

               Don’t want to, it’s just how your build works              

               cohesively as a unit. If there’s like special things       

               going on, like if you got a feat instead of an ability     

               score increase or...                                       

                                                                          

                                                                          

                                                                           

          HANNAH                                                          

               No. I only took the ability score increases.               

                                                                          

          GUNNER                                                          

               Or if your like race meshes really well with cavalier      

               or something. If you got a little extra spice because      

               you’re an owlin or...                                      

                                                                          

          HANNAH                                                           

               No!                                                        

                                                                          

          LAUGHTER                                                         

                                                                          

          HANNAH                                                          

               An owl gets the ability to fly, which is not super         

               useful on a mount. I don’t believe I can carry my mount    

               in flight. I’m not that strong.                            

                                                                          

          GUNNER                                                           

               Mmm. Well that’s fine, though. Doing it for aesthetics     

               is great.                                                  

                                                                          

          HANNAH                                                          

               So, everything that I get is just the specific stuff       

               from being a cavalier specifically.                        

                                                                           

          GUNNER                                                          

               Yeah.                                                      

                                                                          

          HANNAH                                                          

               And I took a lot of protection based stuff, in that        

               like, for example for the generic fighter... It’s not a    

               class thing, but it is like a                              

                                                                          

          GUNNER                                                           

               Fighting Style?                                            

                                                                          

          HANNAH                                                          

               Fighting Style. I took the Protection Style. And one of    

               the other handy things that cavalier has is Warding        

               Maneuver, which I think acts really well in sync with      

               the Protection Fighting Style in that, when myself or a    

               creature that is within five feet of me is hit, I get      

               to roll 1d8 I think as a reaction to add that to the       

               person that’s getting attacked’s AC.                       

                                                                          

          GUNNER                                                          

               Oh nice.                                                   

                                                                          

          HANNAH                                                          

               I think.                                                   

                                                     

                                                                          

          GUNNER                                                          

               Ooh, that does work really well with protection            

                                                                          

          HANNAH                                                          

               Yeah! Mm hmm.                                              

                                                                           

          GUNNER                                                          

               That’s sick.   

                                           

                                                                           

          HANNAH                                                          

               And also I mean my goat will probably also be within       

               five feet of me.                                            

                                                                          

          GUNNER                                                          

               Oh that’s so true.                                         

                                                                           

          HANNAH                                                          

               So... if you touch her, you die!                           

                                                                          

          LAUGHTER                                                        

                                                                          

          HANNAH                                                          

               She has like four hit points.                              

                                                                          

          GUNNER                                                           

               She will... Well, you won’t be able to touch her.          

               Because you are protecting her with all your might.        

                                                                           

          HANNAH                                                          

               With my f-ing life.                                        

                                                                          

          GUNNER                                                          

               With your life!                                            

                                                                          

          HANNAH                                                           

               Mm hmm.                                                    

                                                                          

          CALLIE                                                           

               Real quick: can we swear?                                  

                                                                          

          GUNNER                                                          

               Yeah!                                                      

                                                                          

          CALLIE                                                          

               Okay, cool.                                                

                                                                          

          HANNAH                                                          

               I was just self-censoring.                                 

                                                                          

          GUNNER                                                          

               I just love...                                              

 

          CALLIE                                                          

               I was just wondering.                                      

                                                                          

          GUNNER                                                          

               I just, I love when Hannah self-centres. Centres?          

                                                                          

          LAUGHTER                                                        

                                                                          

          HANNAH                                                          

               I’m centring right now. Don’t mind me.                     

                                                                          

          GUNNER                                                          

               I just love the self-censoring where you just like...     

                                                                          

          CALLIE                                                          

               Yeah, you have audio edited yourself.                      

                                                                          

          GUNNER                                                          

               Yeah, in real time.                                        

                                                                           

          HANNAH                                                          

               In real time, so you don’t have to do it later.            

                                                                           

          GUNNER                                                          

               It’s absolutely fantastic. It’s one of my favourite        

               bits.                                                      

                                                                           

          HANNAH                                                          

               It sounds like it’s probably hell to edit. Why is there    

               a blank space here? Anyway... Who would like to go         

               next?                                                      

                                                                          

          GUNNER                                                           

               Oh, is there any? I have a question. Do you... What’s      

               your weapon? What do ya... What are ya packin?             

                                                                          

          HANNAH                                                          

               What is my weapon? I grabbed a lance for fun because       

               that feels very what a cavalier would have. I did a        

               little research on lances and sounds like practically,     

               as a weapon, historically, pretty useless and...           

                                                                          

          LAUGHTER                                                        

                                                                          

          HANNAH                                                          

               Pretty fast, as soon as mounted combat developed an        

               even slightly better weapon they were like "Lances? Can    

               absolutely get lost."                                      

                                                                           

          LAUGHTER                                                        

                                                                          

     

          HANNAH                                                          

               So, an interest... Apparently they’re not very good for    

               multiple... You can’t thrust it a couple of times at       

               someone.                                                   

                                                                           

          GUNNER                                                          

               Ah. Yeah.                                                  

                                                                           

          SPENCER                                                         

               Mm hmm.                                                    

                                                                          

          HANNAH                                                          

               You just do a drive by.                                    

                                                                          

          GUNNER                                                           

               Yeah. A drive by lancing.                                  

                                                                          

          HANNAH                                                           

               Yeah. I don’t they considered that mechanically, in        

               D&D. Like you can do whatever you want with it.            

                                                                          

          GUNNER                                                          

               They were like "Medieval? Lances. We don’t care about      

               how they actually worked."                                 

                                                                           

          HANNAH                                                          

               Yeah, so I grabbed a lance and I grabbed a longsword,      

               which I feel like I guess I will use more often.            

                                                                          

          GUNNER                                                          

               Nice. I also just love the little fun fact which what      

               if what if we just did that throughout the series? It      

               just popped up like "Little fun fact about this            

               weapon..."                                                 

                                                                           

          LAUGHTER                                                        

                                                                          

          GUNNER                                                          

               "Here’s your little history tidbit."                       

                                                                          

          SPENCER                                                          

               Whoop (Sound effect)                                       

                                                                          

          GUNNER                                                           

               "Cultural tidbit"                                          

                                                                          

          LAUGHTER                                                        

                                                                           

          HANNAH                                                          

               Could do.                                                  

                                                                           

          CALLIE                                                          

               Do you have one of those giant pauldrons that they         

               had...                                                      

                                                                          

          HANNAH                                                          

               Oh my god.                                                 

                                                                           

          CALLIE                                                          

               That would like nestle the lance into your shoulder?       

                                                                          

          HANNAH                                                          

               I hope so. If people want to draw that, they can.          

                                                                           

          GUNNER                                                          

               Mm hmm.                                                    

                                                                           

          HANNAH                                                          

               I approve.                                                 

                                                                          

          SPENCER                                                         

               A little goat horn that Mimi shed at one point that you    

               just got tied to your shoulder?                            

                                                                           

          HANNAH                                                          

               (GASP)                                                     

               Don’t make me cry! That’s so cute!                          

                                                                          

          GUNNER                                                          

               Aww. Just a little...                                      

                                                                           

          HANNAH                                                          

               But yeah I think that’s about it for the weapons. I        

               also grabbed a couple hand axes because hand axes          

               are... Handy                                               

                                                                          

          GUNNER                                                          

               Nice. So you’re like a close range fighter, but you        

               also just have to like rev up?                             

                                                                           

          HANNAH                                                          

               The lance has like ten feet, I think.                      

                                                                           

          GUNNER                                                          

               Oh ok.                                                     

                                                                          

          HANNAH                                                          

               You don’t have to be close range.                          

                                                                          

          GUNNER                                                           

               So not the closest range fighter.                          

                                                                          

          HANNAH                                                           

               I thought it was handy to have that distance, but now      

               I’m sort of like... Given that a lance, depending on       

               how I play it. I’m kind of interested in playing it as     

               a lance actually how it historically worked.               

                                                                          

          GUNNER                                                          

               Just, absolutely a pathetic...                             

                                                                          

          HANNAH                                                          

               I only give myself one use of it, and then I have to       

               resort to a long sword and be like "Eeh, eeh, eeh"         

                                                                          

          GUNNER                                                           

               Just a pathetic little fighter. Just detrimentally         

               horrible.                                                  

                                                                           

          LAUGHTER                                                        

                                                                          

          HANNAH                                                          

               Rude!                                                      

                                                                          

          SPENCER                                                         

               You use your lance once and then drop it.                  

                                                                          

          HANNAH                                                          

               Yeah, exactly! And drop it because I am... very cool       

               and I use multiple weapons.                                

                                                                          

          SPENCER                                                         

               Yeah, absolutely!                                          

                                                                          

          CALLIE                                                          

               Like John Wick throwing guns on the ground after           

               running out of ammo.                                       

                                                                          

          HANNAH                                                           

               A hundred percent. You know what? I just pull out a        

               different lance.                                           

                                                                           

          LAUGHTER                                                        

                                                                          

          GUNNER                                                          

               That’s the true secret of the time, to using a lance       

               twice is you have to have a second lance.                  

                                                                          

          SPENCER                                                          

               It’s always faster to switch to your second lance than     

               it is to reload your first lance.                          

                                                                          

          LAUGHTER                                                        

                                                                          

                                                                           

          GUNNER                                                          

               Alright, Spencer!                                          

                                                                           

          SPENCER                                                         

               Hi! That’s me!                                             

                                                                          

          GUNNER                                                          

               Do you want to tell us about King of... King?              

                                                                          

          HANNAH                                                           

               King!                                                      

                                                                          

          GUNNER                                                           

               Do you want to tell us about Kin-of-Moss?                  

                                                                          

          SPENCER                                                         

               No!                                                        

                                                                          

          GUNNER                                                          

               Oh!                                                         

                                                                          

          SPENCER                                                         

               Actually yes! Haha                                          

                                                                          

          GUNNER                                                          

               Tricked again.                                             

                                                                           

          SPENCER                                                         

               I lied to you, but as a joke.                              

                                                                           

          LAUGHTER                                                        

                                                                          

          SPENCER                                                         

               Kin-of-Moss carries on this theme that I think we all      

               have, which is: what if you wanted to stab someone, but    

               they were kind of far away.                                

                                                                          

          HANNAH                                                          

               Mmm.                                                       

                                                                          

          GUNNER                                                          

               I’ve run into that problem often.                          

                                                                          

          SPENCER                                                         

               Yeah, and so you don’t want to fight fair because only     

               punks fight fair.                                          

                                                                          

          LAUGHTER                                                        

                                                                           

          CALLIE                                                          

               Punks famously fight fair.                                 

                                                                           

                                                                          

          LAUGHTER                                                        

                                                                           

          SPENCER                                                         

               Yes. Absolutely. That’s what they’re known for.            

                                                                          

          HANNAH                                                          

               They have an honour system.                                

                                                                          

          CALLIE                                                           

               They don’t have like hidden knives.                        

                                                                          

          SPENCER                                                          

               They maintain a gendarmerie that is very well              

               considered. Kin-of-Moss carries on in the...               

                                                                          

          HANNAH                                                          

               Don’t stand so close to me.                                

                                                                          

          SPENCER                                                          

               That’s it! In the ages long tradition of "I wanna stab     

               someone, but they’re a little bit far away." And so,       

               with a mix of the Polearm Master/Sentinel feats and the    

               great weapon fighting style, you too can stab someone      

               when they try to stab you and keep ’em far enough away     

               that they can’t try to do it again.                        

                                                                          

          GUNNER                                                          

               Nice. What do those all like do? Exactly? Just in case     

               someone needs to know for like running a game or           

               something?                                                 

                                                                          

          SPENCER                                                          

               Oh. I’m so glad you asked. Basically Polearm Master:       

               it’s the first half of the synergy if you will. When       

               I’m using a weapon with the reach feature, I provoke       

               attacks of... enemies rather attack provoke (garbled)      

                                                                          

          HANNAH                                                          

               We can restart that.                                       

                                                                          

          SPENCER                                                         

               Enemies provoke attacks of opportunity from me when        

               they enter the weapon’s range rather than the normal       

               five foot range.                                           

                                                                          

          HANNAH                                                          

               That sounds much handier than a lance.                     

                                                                          

          GUNNER                                                           

               Oh my goodness.                                            

                                                                          

          SPENCER                                                          

               Which coupled with the sentinel feature, of reducing an    

               enemy’s movement to zero when you hit them with an         

               attack of opportunity, allows you to maneuver around a     

               battlefield much more easily. And to continually stab      

               them, while refusing them the opportunity to stab you.     

               Because the only way to win a fight is to not die.         

                                                                           

          GUNNER                                                          

               Yeah.                                                      

                                                                           

          LAUGHTER                                                        

                                                                          

          GUNNER                                                          

               Excellent. So just... yeah.truly is "Don’t stand so        

               close to me."                                              

                                                                          

          SPENCER                                                          

               Don’t stand so close to me                                 

                                                                          

          GUNNER                                                           

               Don’t even... Don’t even walk. You’re not allowed to.      

                                                                          

          SPENCER                                                         

               Nope. Run.                                                 

                                                                          

          GUNNER                                                          

               You move? You’re done.                                     

                                                                          

          SPENCER                                                         

               Run. Don’t walk. From death                                

                                                                          

          CALLIE                                                          

               We all knew that we would not have a healer, and so        

               we’re like "We... I want some sort of protection from      

               getting hit by stuff."                                     

                                                                          

          GUNNER                                                          

               And you all went very different directions. I love         

               that.                                                      

                                                                           

          HANNAH                                                          

               But also, like I may have taken a lance, but I didn’t      

               take anything to protect me from people actually            

               getting close to me.                                       

                                                                          

          GUNNER                                                          

               That’s fair, but you have a shield?                        

                                                                          

          HANNAH                                                          

               I do have a shield.                                         

                                                                          

                                                                          

          SPENCER                                                         

               I mean if anything, it seems like you made it easier       

               for people to attack you rather than other targets.        

                                                                           

          HANNAH                                                          

               You know what? That’s true. Again revisit that             

               protection moment. That’s exactly what I did.              

                                                                          

          GUNNER                                                          

               Yeah. How’s your meaty bod?                                

                                                                           

          HANNAH                                                          

               My meaty bod?                                              

                                                                           

          GUNNER                                                          

               Can it take a hit?                                         

                                                                           

          HANNAH                                                          

               You wanna know what my HP is? My Hip?                      

                                                                          

          GUNNER                                                          

               Yeah.                                                      

                                                                          

          HANNAH                                                          

               Fifty four. What are other people’s HP. I’m curious. Is    

               mine low?                                                  

                                                                           

          GUNNER                                                          

               "Should I not be in the front lines?"                      

                                                                           

          SPENCER                                                         

               Mine is at sixty eight                                     

                                                                          

          HANNAH                                                          

               Oh! What a delight!                                        

                                                                          

          CALLIE                                                           

               I have fifty three so we’re real close.                    

                                                                          

          LAUGHTER                                                         

                                                                          

          HANNAH                                                          

               Yes! Okay, I can protect... Odette.                        

                                                                          

          CALLIE                                                          

               If you can find me.                                        

                                                                           

          HANNAH                                                          

               I can protect two characters: Mimi and Odette.             

                                                                          

          GUNNER                                                          

               And Mimi doesn’t even have a class. Mimi’s just there.     

                                                                           

                                                                          

          HANNAH                                                          

               Mimi has goat class. Greatest of all time.                 

                                                                          

          GUNNER                                                          

               Mmm. True.                                                 

                                                                           

          LAUGHTER                                                        

                                                                          

          CALLIE                                                           

               Honestly, yeah protecting your mount is so important.      

                                                                          

          HANNAH                                                           

               Yeah!                                                      

                                                                          

          CALLIE                                                          

               Because they have like ten hit points.                     

                                                                          

          HANNAH                                                          

               Mimi my beloved.                                            

                                                                          

          GUNNER                                                          

               For some reason that just sounds like a life advice        

               like "Yeah! You know what? Protecting your mount is        

               important. Now with this protective saddle you too can     

               protect your mount."                                       

                                                                          

          LAUGHTER                                                        

                                                                          

          HANNAH                                                          

               That’s not life advice! That’s a commercial!               

                                                                           

          GUNNER                                                          

               What? Someone’s lied to me my whole life then.             

                                                                           

          CALLIE                                                          

               That is just any car gadget.                               

                                                                          

          LAUGHTER                                                        

                                                                          

          SPENCER                                                         

               For a second there, it sounded like you were opening a     

               scene in an educational video shown to kids in an          

               elementary school. "Hey kids, you know, it’s fun when      

               you’re riding your mount. Did you know it’s                 

               important..."                                              

                                                                          

          HANNAH                                                          

               And then Gunner jumps into a two minute rap about...       

                                                                          

          LAUGHTER                                                        

                                                                           

                                                                          

          GUNNER                                                          

               No!                                                         

                                                                          

          HANNAH                                                          

               ...the safety of mount riding.                             

                                                                           

          SPENCER                                                         

               Oh. Education Edu-Rap                                      

                                                                           

          CALLIE                                                          

               I feel like a real PSA from like a hundred years ago       

               when kids were actively riding horses could be like        

               "Hey kids, when you’re riding your horse, just know        

               there’s a decent chance you’ll die!"                       

                                                                          

          LAUGHTER                                                        

                                                                          

          HANNAH                                                          

               If you fall off for even a second, you will get            

               trampled underfoot. Have fun!                              

                                                                          

          SPENCER                                                          

               Remember kids, a broken leg means it has to be put         

               down. And that applies to you, too.                        

                                                                           

          LAUGHTER                                                        

                                                                          

          GUNNER                                                          

               Holy shit.                                                 

                                                                          

          HANNAH                                                          

               That would have been a hundred years ago. Or less?         

                                                                          

          SPENCER                                                         

               A little bit more. A little bit more. A hundred years      

               ago was 1922.                                              

                                                                          

          HANNAH                                                          

               Was pretty recent, right? No, I think they would have      

               put people down.                                           

                                                                          

          GUNNER                                                           

               It depends.                                                

                                                                          

          SPENCER                                                         

               I mean, where are we talking about? Are we talking like    

               Eastern, like rural Eastern Europe or like...              

                                                                           

          GUNNER                                                          

               That’s where they were set it on.                          

 

          CALLIE                                                           

               This is what The Great Gatsby is about.                    

                                                                          

          HANNAH                                                          

               Wow. That was a lot of crosstalk.                          

                                                                          

          GUNNER                                                          

               Yeah. That was horrible.                                   

                                                                          

          CALLIE                                                          

               I’m sorry.                                                  

                                                                          

          GUNNER                                                          

               I didn’t even say a sentence right. I’m like "Alright      

               well, this is gettin cut."                                 

                                                                          

          CALLIE                                                          

               We both said a complete sentence of the exact same         

               length at the same time.                                   

                                                                          

          LAUGHTER                                                         

                                                                          

          HANNAH                                                          

               Anyway, Callie do you want to introduce your class?        

                                                                          

          CALLIE                                                          

               Are you finished?                                          

                                                                           

          SPENCER                                                         

               Me?                                                        

                                                                           

          CALLIE                                                          

               Yeah.                                                      

                                                                           

          SPENCER                                                         

               Me?                                                        

                                                                          

          GUNNER                                                          

               Yeah, do you have any fun spicy little things?             

                                                                          

          HANNAH                                                           

               Oh, your weapon! No you did your weapon. Eh (playful)      

                                                                          

          SPENCER                                                         

               My weapon is specifically a glaive.                        

                                                                          

          ALL                                                              

               Ooh                                                        

                                                                          

          HANNAH                                                           

               Never mind, you didn’t do your weapon.                     

                                                                          

                                                                          

          SPENCER                                                         

               I didn’t do my weapon, no. Glaive, which is a knife on     

               a stick basically.                                         

                                                                           

          HANNAH                                                          

               Not too different from a lance.                            

                                                                           

          SPENCER                                                         

               Not too different from a lance...                          

                                                                          

          GUNNER                                                          

               And yet, very different.                                   

                                                                          

          SPENCER                                                         

               Whereas lances are basically like a big cone on a          

               stick...                                                   

                                                                           

          HANNAH                                                          

               Well... actually...                                        

                                                                           

          LAUGHTER                                                        

                                                                          

          SPENCER                                                         

               Go on...                                                   

                                                                          

          HANNAH                                                          

               The original lances WERE like a knife on a stick. It’s     

               only when it became something similar to jousting that     

               they became a big heavy thing. That’s all.                 

                                                                          

          SPENCER                                                         

               I’m glad I didn’t know that. That’s a fact we wouldn’t     

               have gotten if we didn’t get that.                         

                                                                          

          CALLIE                                                          

               This is... This is like when I learned the difference      

               between a trumpet and a cornet and like I don’t think      

               I’ll ever use this, but this fact will never leave my      

               mind.                                                      

                                                                          

          LAUGHTER                                                        

                                                                          

          HANNAH                                                           

               I’m very sorry. I did research on lances like five days    

               ago and the most interesting thing was honestly that       

               there’s something that is lance lingo and it’s called      

               tent pegging.                                              

                                                                          

          LAUGHTER                                                        

                                                                           

          SPENCER                                                         

               Go on.                                                                                                                                 

                                                                          

          HANNAH                                                          

               I don’t remember any of the other context. That’s it!      

                                                                          

          CALLIE                                                          

               Is that not?                                               

                                                                           

          HANNAH                                                          

               My apologies.                                              

                                                                           

          CALLIE                                                          

               So that’s a lance term, not like a setting up a tent       

               term? Because I have heard like Tent Pegs.                 

                                                                          

          HANNAH                                                          

               Tent pegs are also a tent term. Tent Pegging is            

               something else specific to lancing.                        

                                                                          

          SPENCER                                                         

               Yes, cause I would assume that tent pegs have been         

               around for quite some time, and so using them              

               euphemistically to refer to something you can do with a    

               lance probably was pretty simple to put together.          

                                                                          

          HANNAH                                                          

               I would look it up, but I don’t have my phone.             

                                                                          

          SPENCER                                                         

               I would also look it up, but I’m not going to.             

                                                                           

          CALLIE                                                          

               I have my phone.                                           

                                                                           

          LAUGHTER                                                        

                                                                          

          SPENCER                                                          

               But yeah, glaives different from things like halberds      

               and stuff by um the game deciding that they are.           

                                                                          

          LAUGHTER                                                        

                                                                          

          SPENCER                                                         

               As well as having slightly different shapes of them.       

               Whereas halberds are basically axes plus spear, which      

               were specifically used for removing mounted targets        

               from their mounts.                                          

                                                                          

          ALL                                                             

               Gasp                                                       

                                                                           

          HANNAH                                                          

               Kin-of-Moss no!                                            

                                                                           

          GUNNER                                                          

               I have to write this down!                                 

                                                                           

          SPENCER                                                         

               Glaives were specifically used to slash and stab and do    

               it from just far enough away.                              

                                                                          

          HANNAH                                                          

               Sort of like the knife on the end of a... I want to say    

               rifle.                                                     

                                                                          

          GUNNER                                                          

               Bayonet?                                                    

                                                                          

          HANNAH                                                          

               There you go.                                              

                                                                          

          GUNNER                                                          

               I almost said Bayonetta.                                   

                                                                           

          LAUGHTER                                                        

                                                                          

          CALLIE                                                           

               Bayonetta knows a lot about tent pegging actually.         

                                                                          

          SPENCER                                                         

               Did you know that the number of people who actually        

               died from bayonet wounds is relatively small because       

               they were just too scary.                                  

                                                                           

          HANNAH                                                          

               The bayonet was scary? You know what...                    

                                                                           

          SPENCER                                                         

               Yeah, because the concept of seeing someone run up on      

               you with a gun, and instead of shooting you, trying to     

               get close enough to use this big triangular knife on       

               the end of it to stab you in the chest a bunch...          

                                                                          

          HANNAH                                                           

               Horrible. Just awful.                                      

                                                                          

          SPENCER                                                          

               People just surrendered. So, the number of times           

               someone actually died that we have recorded from           

               bayonet is relatively low compared to other methods.       

                                                                          

          GUNNER                                                          

               I’m just going to have to cut in all these fun facts       

               elsewhere. It’s too many fun facts.                        

                                                                          

                                                                          

          HANNAH                                                           

               Just pause the pod and be like "By the way, fun            

               fact..."                                                   

                                                                          

          CALLIE                                                          

               Fun fact: that’s how all the Romanov children died.        

                                                                          

          SPENCER                                                         

               That’s not fun, but it is true.                            

                                                                          

          CALLIE                                                           

               Okay, that... We can cut all of this.                      

                                                                          

          LAUGHTER                                                         

                                                                          

          CALLIE                                                          

               Okay, cut back in right now. I have looked up what tent    

               pegging is. So tent pegging is a sport. It’s an            

               equestrian sport which is basically trying to hit          

               targets with a lance.                                      

                                                                           

          HANNAH                                                          

               Oh, nice.                                                  

                                                                           

          CALLIE                                                          

               So, there’s a version of it called Ring Jousting where     

               you’re trying to get the point of your lance through a     

               suspended ring. It’s basically...                          

                                                                          

          HANNAH                                                          

               Archery?                                                    

                                                                          

          CALLIE                                                          

               Jousting, but instead of trying to do it against           

               another person, you’re just trying to do target            

               practice.                                                  

                                                                          

          HANNAH                                                          

               Nice.                                                      

                                                                           

          CALLIE                                                          

               Yup. And we never mentioned bayonets at all.               

                                                                           

          LAUGHTER                                                        

                                                                          

          GUNNER                                                          

               Nothing happened. Alright. What do like firbolgs get...    

               that’s fun?                                                

                                                                          

          SPENCER                                                          

               Firbolgs, I can talk to plants and animals. So can         

               everyone else, but the difference is they can              

               understand me. I have no way to understand them, nor       

               can I compel them to do anything in particular. But I      

               can be very confident that they absolutely understood      

               what I meant.                                              

                                                                          

          GUNNER                                                          

               Excellent.                                                 

                                                                           

          SPENCER                                                         

               Which just means that I have advantage on charisma         

               check against them if necessary.                            

                                                                          

          GUNNER                                                          

               I thought you were going to say, which just means I        

               have delusions of grandeur.                                

                                                                          

          LAUGHTER                                                        

                                                                           

          HANNAH                                                          

               You’re like a King of Moss!                                

                                                                           

          SPENCER                                                         

               It’s almost like I consider myself family. To these        

               growing things. I should name my character that.           

                                                                          

          GUNNER                                                          

               Mmm.                                                       

                                

                                          

          SPENCER                                                         

               Also, I am very lorge and I can carry a lot of things.     

                                                                          

          GUNNER                                                          

               Nice.                                                      

                                                                           

          SPENCER                                                         

               And also I can turn invisible. Sometimes, but only         

               once.                                                       

                                                                          

          HANNAH                                                          

               Can you carry a goat and an owl?                           

                                                                           

          SPENCER                                                         

               I could do that, yes. Your bones are made of paper, and    

               your goat is relatively small, so I am sure I could do     

  1.  

                                                                          

          GUNNER                                                           

               That sounds like an insult from a hundred years ago.       

                                                                          

          CALLIE                                                          

               Yeah, it sounds like a threat.                             

                                                                          

          GUNNER                                                          

               "Your bones are made of paper and your goat is             

               relatively small!"                                         

                                                                          

          LAUGHTER                                                         

                                                                          

          GUNNER                                                          

               Awesome. Callie, tell us about Odette!                     

                                                                          

          CALLIE                                                          

               Okay, so Odette is an arcane archer, like I said, which    

               means she has like a million special arrow shots she       

               can do, but I’ll start with the goblin stuff.              

               Darkvision, Fury of the Small, which is just once per      

               short rest, I can... If the target is bigger than me,      

               so medium or larger, I can add my level of damage,         

               which is eight, so I can just randomly add eight damage    

               to something.                                              

                                                                          

          GUNNER                                                          

               Nice.                                                       

                                                                          

          CALLIE                                                          

               I have nimble escape which lets me disengage or hide as    

               a bonus action.                                            

                                                                          

          GUNNER                                                          

               Oof.                                                       

                                                                          

          CALLIE                                                          

               So, I... I’ve made kind of a rogue fighter.                

                                                                 

        

          GUNNER                                                          

               A rogue... like?                                            

                                                                          

          CALLIE                                                          

               It’s a rogue-like. Hades 2022. 2020! Hades two already     

               been announced by Callie. Not associated with              

               Supergiant Games. I’ve made my own sequel to Hades.        

                                                                          

          LAUGHTER                                                         

                                                                          

          CALLIE                                                          

               So I have the archery fighting style, which means I get    

               plus two to attack on ranged weapons. Second wind,         

               action surge, arcane archer gets the spell                 

               prestidigitation, which I use for my scams.                

                                                                           

          GUNNER                                                          

               Nice.                                                      

                                                                          

          CALLIE                                                          

               Oh yeah, because I’m a charlatan, which manifests by me    

               selling fake magic items to rich people.                   

                                                                          

          GUNNER                                                          

               Ugh. Great.                                                 

                                                                          

          CALLIE                                                          

               So my arcane shot, after I hit with an arrow, which I      

               think is very important to the balance of this class       

               and not making it very underpowered. I have a variety      

               of them, first one is grasping arrow, which lets me add    

               more poison damage, reduces their speed by ten feet,       

               and the first time they move without teleporting on        

               each of their turns they can take 2d6 slashing damage.     

               So, they’re like wrapped up in vines basically.             

                                                                          

          GUNNER                                                          

               Dang.                                                      

                                                                           

          CALLIE                                                          

               And the creature can... Any creature that can reach it     

               or itself can make an athletics check against my DC,       

               which, for this is thirteen. And it lasts for one          

               minute, or until I use grasping arrow again. There is      

               bursting arrow, which is a ten foot radius, take 2d6       

               force damage, no save, just it explodes. And I have        

               shadow arrow, which is it does psychic damage and also     

               it can make a wisdom save or...                             

                                                                          

          HANNAH                                                          

               Sonic’s enemy.                                             

                                                                          

          LAUGHTER                                                        

                                                                          

          SPENCER                                                          

               Thank you, Hannah.                                         

                                                                          

          CALLIE                                                           

               It goes into that time prison, where it breaks all of      

               its bones, which is easy because they’re made out of       

               paper.                                                     

                                                                           

          LAUGHTER                                                        

                                                                          

          GUNNER                                                           

               So... terrible.                                            

                                                                          

          HANNAH                                                           

               Really peaked there.                                       

                                                                          

                                                                          

          CALLIE                                                          

               So yeah, they can make a wisdom save or they would be      

               unable to see anything five feet away... More than five    

               feet away until the start of my next turn, which is        

               very helpful as a ranged attacker because that gives       

               me... advantage on them I think because they can’t see     

  1.                    

                                                                          

          GUNNER                                                          

               Awesome.                                                   

                                                                           

          CALLIE                                                          

               Also, all of my arrow attacks are magic. I have extra      

               attack. I also have curving shot, which is when I miss     

               with an arrow attack, I can use my bonus action to roll    

               it again against another target within sixty feet, so      

               it’s like I’ve missed and then it curves it to try and     

               hit someone else.                                          

                                                                          

          GUNNER                                                          

               So like the hit film Wanted.                               

                                                                          

          LAUGHTER                                                        

                                                                          

          CALLIE                                                          

               Yeah! I thought you were going to say Guardians of the     

               Galaxy, and I was really taken aback by what? 2006? Hit    

               film Wanted?                                               

                                                                          

          GUNNER                                                           

               Hit film Wanted. I tried to see that movie several         

               times in theatre, but I was not eighteen and it was        

               rated R and I got kicked out every single time I tried     

               to go see Wanted in theatres.                              

                                                                          

          CALLIE                                                          

               Oh my god.                                                  

                                                                          

          GUNNER                                                          

               It was also not me that wanted to. It was a high school    

               friend!                                                    

                                        

                                 

          HANNAH                                                          

               Why are you foisting it off on someone else?               

                                                                          

          LAUGHTER                                                        

                                                                          

          GUNNER                                                          

               I didn’t want to see it!                                   

                                                                           

          HANNAH                                                          

               Make yourself less cool, by being like "By the way, I      

               didn’t want to sneak into a theatre. I was a good kid."    

                                                                          

                                                                          

          GUNNER                                                          

               They forced my hand and I got kicked out of several        

               theatres. Trying to see wanted.                            

                                                                          

          CALLIE                                                           

               Did you do the thing where you bought a ticket for a       

               different movie and then snuck into that one?              

                                                                           

          GUNNER                                                          

               Yes.                                                       

                                                                          

          HANNAH                                                          

               Theatre tips.                                              

                                                                          

          SPENCER                                                          

               They were really on the ball when it came to this one,     

               I guess. Wow.                                              

                                                                          

          CALLIE                                                          

               Oh, I also have the sharpshooter feat, which allows me     

               to subtract five from an attack roll with a ranged         

               weapon and add ten to any damage.                          

                                                                          

          GUNNER                                                           

               Oof.                                                       

                                                                          

          CALLIE                                                          

               It also lets me ignore the short range distance on...      

                                                                          

          GUNNER                                                          

               Ooh...                                                      

                                                                          

          CALLIE                                                          

               It doesn’t give me disadvantage for shooting to the        

               long range. Which is helpful because I can’t use a         

               longbow because I’m a small creature.                      

                                                                          

          GUNNER                                                          

               You’re too tiny for a longbow                              

                                                                          

          HANNAH                                                          

               You know, all those things sound incredibly useful.        

                                                                          

 

          GUNNER                                                          

               Yeah                                                       

                                                                          

          CALLIE                                                           

               And, I also ignore half and three-quarter cover for my     

               ranged weapon attacks,                                     

                                                                           

          GUNNER                                                          

               Dang                                                       

                                                                          

          CALLIE                                                          

               But not full cover.                                        

                                                                          

          GUNNER                                                           

               Oh Spencer your... Kin-of-Moss is a battle master, what    

               maneuvers did you get?                                     

                                                                           

          SPENCER                                                         

               So I have a couple different maneuvers here, which are,    

               for the uninitiated, maneuvers are special abilities       

               given to the Battle Master Class that allow you to         

               manipulate the battlefield to your favour in different     

               ways. So for example, I have the Lunging Attack one, so    

               my knife on a stick goes even further away and I can       

               get a full fifteen feet of reach on a single melee         

               attack, which adds more damage, then I can push people     

               away with pushing attack. I can give people temporary      

               hit points with my rally maneuver and I can hit someone    

               next to the person I wanted to hit with Sweeping           

               attack.                                                     

                                                                          

          GUNNER                                                          

               Excellent. That... what is it rally or something?          

                                                                          

          SPENCER                                                         

               Yeah.                                                      

                                                                           

          GUNNER                                                          

               Very good for a no healing party, which reminds me         

               since there’s no really healers in this party, for kind    

               of our house rules, well first of all you guys were        

               able to obtain healing potions from the amount of money    

               you had, when you were buying your starting equipment,     

               so you have those healing potions. And, for the sake of    

               this, I’m going to rule it that taking a healing potion    

               is a bonus action, instead of a full action.               

                                                                           

          HANNAH                                                          

               Ok.                                                        

                                                                          

          SPENCER                                                         

               Wow!                                                       

                                                                           

          GUNNER                                                          

               And you can roll the dice for that. Or if you want the     

               maximum amount of hit points that a healing potion         

               would give you, you can use your action to do so.          

                                                                          

          SPENCER                                                         

               Love it!                                                   

                                                                                                                                                     

          GUNNER                                                           

               So, it’s up to you whether you want a quick little         

               heal, or if you want to spend your action getting as       

               much HP as possible.                                        

                                                                          

          CALLIE                                                          

               Is the flavour of that, that if you do it as a bonus       

               action, you’re like really sloppy with it?                 

                                                                          

          GUNNER                                                          

               Yeah, you’re just chugging it down. Smashing the glass.    

                                                                          

          CALLIE                                                          

               Bottles are expensive!                                     

                                                                          

          LAUGHTER                                                        

                                                                           

          HANNAH                                                          

               They’re made of glass. Hard to use. Hard to find.          

                                                                           

          GUNNER                                                          

               That’s why healing potions are expensive!                  

                                                                          

          SPENCER                                                         

               Healing potions are purely expensive because the shape     

               of the bottle is regulated and it’s not... Unless          

               you’re in the shape of a healing potion, it doesn’t        

               work.                                                      

                                                                          

          CALLIE                                                           

               You’re not paying for the potion, you’re paying for the    

               bottle.                                                    

                                                                          

          LAUGHTER                                                        

                                                                          

          GUNNER                                                          

               Is there any like concluding things anyone wants to        

               say? I think we’ve covered everything that like...         

                                                                          

          SPENCER                                                          

               That seems good to me. Oh! I had a point, but I don’t      

               have it anymore.                                           

                                                                           

          GUNNER                                                          

               Oh.                                                        

                                                                          

          SPENCER                                                         

               Thank you very much.                                       

                                                                          

          GUNNER                                                           

               Alright, awesome. Well...                                  

                                                                          

                                                                                                                                                     

                                                                          

                                                                          

          HANNAH                                                          

               Do we want to promo anything?                              

                                                                          

          GUNNER                                                           

               Where can we find this podcast? You can find it on         

               twitter @class_feature can find it... where else?          

                                                                          

          SPENCER                                                         

               Wherever podcasts are listened to...                       

                                                                           

          HANNAH                                                          

               I think twitter is the main one right now.                 

                                                                           

          GUNNER                                                          

               If you just go to twitter.                                 

                                                                          

          HANNAH                                                          

               Just go to twitter. Get on, go to twitter find us          

               there.                                                     

                                                                           

          GUNNER                                                          

               Be thirteen years or older.                                

                                                                           

          LAUGHTER                                                        

                                                                          

          GUNNER                                                          

               Ugh.                                                       

                                                                          

          CALLIE                                                          

               Uh?                                                        

                                                                          

          HANNAH                                                          

               That’s not...                                              

                                                                          

          GUNNER                                                          

               Cut that.                                                   

                                                                          

          HANNAH                                                          

               Cut that!                                                   

                                                                          

          LAUGHTER                                                        

                                                                          

          SOUND: CLAP                                                     

                                                                          

          GUNNER                                                          

               Follow us on...                                             

                                                                          

          HANNAH                                                          

               Why did you do that at the end of it? We just said cut     

               that.                

                                     

          SPENCER                                                         

               Well, now we know where the point is, so when you go       

               back through the audio there’s a bit of staccato you       

               can drag through                                           

                                                                          

          GUNNER                                                          

               Follow us on twitter and find out where else we could      

  1.  

                                                                          

          SPENCER                                                         

               It’s interesting to note that if you’re listening to       

               this, you will find out faster than we currently will      

               where you can find the rest of this podcast.               

                                                                          

          LAUGHTER                                                         

                                                                          

          SPENCER                                                         

               It will take you less time to figure that out, than it     

               will take us from here to whenever we decide that.         

                                                                          

          GUNNER                                                          

               Mm hmm.                                                     

                                                                          

          HANNAH                                                          

               Good luck.                                                  

                                                                          

          GUNNER                                                          

               Good luck. Does anyone have personal twitters they         

               wanna plug or is just...                                   

                                                                          

          HANNAH                                                          

               Find me... nowhere. Thank you!                             

                                                                          

          GUNNER                                                          

               Nowhere. Excellent.                                        

                                                                          

          SPENCER                                                         

               Don’t look for me. Keep your grimy hands off that          

               follow button.                                             

                                                                          

          CALLIE                                                          

               I’m @changpowless on twitter.                              

                                                                          

          LAUGHTER                                                        

                                                                           

          CALLIE                                                          

               c h a n g p o w l e s s                                    

                                                                          

          LAUGHTER                                                        

                                                                          

          SPENCER                                                          

               I’m sorry can you spell that again, once. I’m not sure     

               I heard you Callie.                                                                                                    

                                                                          

          GUNNER                                                          

               And I’m @RunnGunnerGunn all spelled with two n’s. Thank    

               you so much for listening. See you next time on Class      

               Feature... I thought someone would join me...              

                                                                          

          HANNAH                                                           

               Did you want me to join in? I feel like...                 

                                                                          

          SPENCER                                                          

               Feature...                                                 

                                                                          

          LAUGHTER                                                        

                                                                           

          CALLIE                                                          

               Cut it all together later. Feature...                      

                                                                           

          HANNAH                                                          

               Feature!