How to Build a Legacy to Die For with Dr Kimberly Harms

About Kimberly

Dr. Harms helps people understand the importance of showing their love for their families by setting them up for success through comprehensive legacy planning.

Dr. Harms has witnessed death up close many times throughout her life. She suffered the loss of her mother and her son to suicide and, eventually, her husband from a broken heart. These events shaped her views on finding meaning in grief, and she set out on a mission to end the stigma around end-of-life planning.

As a fourth-quarter coach and international speaker specializing in grief, conflict resolution, and legacy planning, she helps people put an emotional life insurance plan in place so that their loved ones are left in an emotionally healthy space after they are gone.

Her book Are You Ready? How to Build a Legacy to Die For discusses how to build a legacy that lives on after your death. It was a #1 bestseller on Amazon and Barnes & Noble and named the most inspirational book of 2024 by the Pacific Book Awards.

Summary

In this episode of the Humans vs Retirement podcast, Dr. Kimberly Harms shares her profound journey through grief, loss, and the quest for purpose in the later stages of life.

At 68, Kimberly reflects on her experiences, including the tragic loss of her Mum, son and husband, and how these events shaped her understanding of legacy and the importance of living fully.

She emphasises the need for purpose in retirement, the significance of building quality relationships, and the power of love letters as a means to connect with family beyond death.

Kimberly's insights encourage you to confront your mortality, embrace your life stories, and create meaningful legacies that transcend material wealth.

Throughout our conversation, Kimberly and I explore the significance of building a legacy that resonates with love and connection. We discuss the importance of appointing trusted individuals to carry out one's wishes, navigating difficult conversations about death, and the emotional benefits of downsizing.

Kimberly shares her personal experiences with grief and the importance of maintaining relationships, culminating in her concept of a 'Grateful But Not Yet Dead Tour' where she expresses appreciation to those who have impacted her life.

Key Takeaways

• Grief affects everyone around us, and we must fight to overcome it.
• Retirement can lead to a sense of emptiness without purpose.
• Building quality relationships is key to happiness in life.
• Understanding mortality allows us to live more fully.
• Love letters can provide comfort and connection after death.
• We should take the initiative to develop relationships and not wait for others.
• Legacy is not about money; it's about the impact we leave behind.
• Writing letters can help express love and pride to family members.
• It's important to prepare for death to ease the burden on loved ones.
• We can reinvent ourselves in the later stages of life.  Appoint trusted individuals to carry out your wishes.
• Last minute statements can provide immense comfort.
• Regularly express love to family members.
• Cultural attitudes often deny discussions about death.
• Navigating conversations about death can be challenging but necessary.
• Downsizing can be painful but ultimately freeing.
• Focus on relationships over material possessions.
• Planning for the future can ease family burdens after death.
• Creating memories and experiences is a vital part of legacy.
• Expressing gratitude can enhance personal happiness and relationships.

Sound Bites

"I realized that I am in the fourth quarter of my life"
"It's worth it to get out there and fight your way out"
"Retirement is a time to reinvent ourselves"
"You can't underestimate the power of those moments."
"Those last minute statements are so powerful."
"It's important to tell our family how much we love them."

Chapters

00:00 - Introduction to Dr. Kimberly Harms
01:29 - Kimberly's Journey Through Grief and Loss
09:38 - The Impact of Grief on Life and Purpose
17:22 - Understanding Mortality and Living Fully
24:54 - Building a Legacy Beyond Money
29:10 - The Importance of Appointing Trusted Individuals
33:02 - Navigating Difficult Conversations About Death
40:01 - Downsizing and Emotional Wellbeing
49:18 - The Grateful But Not Yet Dead Tour

Links

Kimberly's book Are You Ready? How to Build a Legacy to Die For