"I’m Bored-Out, Not Burned Out." Is it time to try something new? Kristi Turner & Shelley Paxton #71
Release Date: 03/21/2024
Enough, the Podcast
Be honest. You secretly love how much you can endure. Like it’s a badge of honour that you can take on more, stay longer, push harder, and still (kinda) look put together? But here’s the kicker: What if that “unstoppable drive” isn’t grit at all? What if it’s your nervous system running on a decades-old operating system — one that learned, way back when, that proving yourself was the only way to stay safe, loved, or valuable? That would explain some things, wouldn’t it? Like why you: Secretly check emails on holiday… in the bathroom… while everyone else...
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Ever said, “No worries, all good” while your insides screamed otherwise? That’s not weakness. That was your nervous system doing its genius, trauma-sourced thing: fawning. In this episode, author and clinical psychologist Dr. Ingrid Clayton shows us that fawning isn’t a personality flaw—it’s a self-abandonment pattern we can gently unlearn, because it’s costing you. Big time. We get into why fawning isn’t actually “being nice.” You’ll learn how it shows up day to day, and how you can start building safety from the inside out, so saying “No”, or being in conflict...
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You’re used to pushing hard – in fact, your identity is built on it. What happens when your body forces you to stop? Who are you then? That’s what happened to psychologist Jo Rodriguez, a behind-the-scenes TV expert, marathon runner, and mum who loved being called a machine. One day, what seemed like a simple illness forced her to slow down. She continued her relentless routine, and the mystery illness kept reappearing until the pain became unbearable, and Jo’s heart nearly doubled in size. After a diagnosis of pericarditis, she lay in hospital wondering if she’d ever feel...
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When Love is a Hustle: Healing the Fixer Identity, with Dr Natalie Cawley #93 If you’ve ever over-functioned in a romantic relationship hoping to feel enough, this episode is for you. My guest is Dr Natalie Cawley, psychotherapist, counselling psychologist and author of Just About Coping: A real-life drama from the psychotherapist’s chair. Natalie shares openly about her own challenges with over-giving in her personal relationships, showing that we’re ALL prone to struggles – even therapists! We get into the *real* reason you keep over-giving, and how to finally stop it. Listen...
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Ever said, “No worries, it’s fine,” when it absolutely wasn’t fine? Or maybe you’ve pushed down your needs and shape-shifted into whoever you thought you needed to be in a particular situation. That’s not kindness. That’s fawning—people-pleasing’s sneakier, brain-based cousin. In this episode, neuroscientist and author of Rewire, Nicole Vignola, joins me for a juicy, no-fluff convo about why we fawn, what’s going on in the brain when we do it, and how to unhook from this exhausting survival pattern. Nicole shares real talk from her own relationships, where...
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Reinvention often stirs up a storm—self-doubt, not-enoughness, the old habits of perfectionism and overworking. We think we have to earn our way out of stuckness. But what if the answer wasn’t in doing more—but in needing less? What if your enoughness was right there in plain sight, but you’ve been looking for it in the wrong places? This week, I’m joined by the glorious Donna Ashworth: poet, best-selling author, and queen of reinvention. She’s been a music industry exec, a magazine journalist, a business owner (of a children’s play centre) —and through each chapter, she’s...
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What actually holds you together when life blindsides you? Maybe it’s a breakup. A diagnosis. Or the crushing weight of everything right now. If you’re wired for hustle, your first instinct might be to work through it—to push harder, achieve more, be exceptional. What if the answer wasn’t in doing more, but in seeing oneself as LESS? Wait, what? Julia Baird—broadcaster, journalist, and bestselling author—gets it. She loves being hyper-productive. But when her world cracked open, she didn’t seek solace in success. Instead, she discovered the power of her shrinking self and the...
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You’re all out of give, and even the smallest request can spark an outsized reaction: DON’T YOU KNOW HOW BUSY I AM? Go away! Anger feels right under the skin, and the slightest provocation can unleash it – anything from loud chewing to an urgent email. You used to be fun. Things didn’t used to annoy you like this. You might be thinking, “What’s wrong with me?” So, you try to do more to finish your never-ending list. Then you’ll rest. But you find yourself ever more exhausted and reactive. Doing more is not the answer. This solo Coaching Corner episode will show you what is...We...
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On the outside, Dr Mel Hicks (47) had it all. She's been a global philanthropist for two decades. She’s a published author, keynote speaker, and has travelled to 44 countries. But another failed marriage, and an emergency hysterectomy threw Mel into shame and self-doubt. She was alone again, and she’d never be a mother – and she blamed herself. As a high-achiever and a self-proclaimed “runner” from her problems, Mel dove into her charity work, and drank and partied so she wouldn’t have to face her feelings of not-enoughness. She finally had to confront the big...
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Operating from fear and scarcity means you’re not reading life accurately. The same is true if you’re moving through life guided solely by intellect – head wisdom – ignoring the superior wisdom of the other senses. My guest is spiritual teacher and NYT best-selling author, Sonia Choquette, who shares some practices from her new book, Read Life Accurately. She helps us to tune into our energetic alerts, within ourselves, others, and the places we work and live in. More and more scientific research supports what intuitive practitioners have known all along – that being connected to our...
info_outlineYou’ve heard of burnout, but ever heard of bore-out? Apparently, it’s a leading cause of why people leave their jobs. I’m not talking about things feeling a bit drab. I’m talking about the loss of meaning in your work, and the adverse effects this can have on your mental and physical wellbeing. As you become more senior, maybe your days are full of admin, politics, and none of the juicy stuff that used to light you up. In today’s episode you’ll meet Kristi Turner, a former tech CMO, whose work stress was mainly due to boredom. Kristi took a pause from work, had a “Soulbbatical” (more on this in the episode), and found a new-found vigour to re-enter the corporate in a way that felt more aligned with her values. You’ll also meet Shelley Paxton, former CMO of Harley Davidson and founder of the Soulbbatical, who gives you some techniques to tackle bore-out – no resignation letter required. Pacey and practical, you’ll leave this episode tooled up, and (hopefully) enlivened. Join us!
Links:
Kristi Turner’s website.
Shelley Paxton’s website.
Brené Brown’s list of values.
Forbes article: Why boredom at work is more dangerous than burnout.
BBC article with Dr Lotta Harju’s comments.
Mandy Lehto on Instagram.