I perform for millions, but I still feel imposter syndrome (and it's okay). Janette Manrara #82
Release Date: 09/26/2024
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You’re used to pushing hard – in fact, your identity is built on it. What happens when your body forces you to stop? Who are you then? That’s what happened to psychologist Jo Rodriguez, a behind-the-scenes TV expert, marathon runner, and mum who loved being called a machine. One day, what seemed like a simple illness forced her to slow down. She continued her relentless routine, and the mystery illness kept reappearing until the pain became unbearable, and Jo’s heart nearly doubled in size. After a diagnosis of pericarditis, she lay in hospital wondering if she’d ever feel...
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When Love is a Hustle: Healing the Fixer Identity, with Dr Natalie Cawley #93 If you’ve ever over-functioned in a romantic relationship hoping to feel enough, this episode is for you. My guest is Dr Natalie Cawley, psychotherapist, counselling psychologist and author of Just About Coping: A real-life drama from the psychotherapist’s chair. Natalie shares openly about her own challenges with over-giving in her personal relationships, showing that we’re ALL prone to struggles – even therapists! We get into the *real* reason you keep over-giving, and how to finally stop it. Listen...
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Ever said, “No worries, it’s fine,” when it absolutely wasn’t fine? Or maybe you’ve pushed down your needs and shape-shifted into whoever you thought you needed to be in a particular situation. That’s not kindness. That’s fawning—people-pleasing’s sneakier, brain-based cousin. In this episode, neuroscientist and author of Rewire, Nicole Vignola, joins me for a juicy, no-fluff convo about why we fawn, what’s going on in the brain when we do it, and how to unhook from this exhausting survival pattern. Nicole shares real talk from her own relationships, where...
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Reinvention often stirs up a storm—self-doubt, not-enoughness, the old habits of perfectionism and overworking. We think we have to earn our way out of stuckness. But what if the answer wasn’t in doing more—but in needing less? What if your enoughness was right there in plain sight, but you’ve been looking for it in the wrong places? This week, I’m joined by the glorious Donna Ashworth: poet, best-selling author, and queen of reinvention. She’s been a music industry exec, a magazine journalist, a business owner (of a children’s play centre) —and through each chapter, she’s...
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What actually holds you together when life blindsides you? Maybe it’s a breakup. A diagnosis. Or the crushing weight of everything right now. If you’re wired for hustle, your first instinct might be to work through it—to push harder, achieve more, be exceptional. What if the answer wasn’t in doing more, but in seeing oneself as LESS? Wait, what? Julia Baird—broadcaster, journalist, and bestselling author—gets it. She loves being hyper-productive. But when her world cracked open, she didn’t seek solace in success. Instead, she discovered the power of her shrinking self and the...
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You’re all out of give, and even the smallest request can spark an outsized reaction: DON’T YOU KNOW HOW BUSY I AM? Go away! Anger feels right under the skin, and the slightest provocation can unleash it – anything from loud chewing to an urgent email. You used to be fun. Things didn’t used to annoy you like this. You might be thinking, “What’s wrong with me?” So, you try to do more to finish your never-ending list. Then you’ll rest. But you find yourself ever more exhausted and reactive. Doing more is not the answer. This solo Coaching Corner episode will show you what is...We...
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On the outside, Dr Mel Hicks (47) had it all. She's been a global philanthropist for two decades. She’s a published author, keynote speaker, and has travelled to 44 countries. But another failed marriage, and an emergency hysterectomy threw Mel into shame and self-doubt. She was alone again, and she’d never be a mother – and she blamed herself. As a high-achiever and a self-proclaimed “runner” from her problems, Mel dove into her charity work, and drank and partied so she wouldn’t have to face her feelings of not-enoughness. She finally had to confront the big...
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Is your measure of success focused purely on your own achievements? Maybe you’re at a time in your life when you’re questioning legacy, purpose, and who you are beneath your job title. Maybe you’re thinking about what it means to contribute and to matter in society. Baroness Lola Young was one of the first black women members of the House of Lords. She’s been an actress, an academic, and a cross-bench peer. She’s also an active campaigner against modern slavery and unethical fashion. Her new book, Eight Weeks, an account of being raised in foster care and children’s homes between...
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You may have heard about the health benefits of being kind. Not only can it lower blood pressure, and boost immunity. It can also positively alter your relationship with yourself, which piqued my interest for those of us who’ve spent decades driving ourselves relentlessly. Is kindfulness a solution to feelings of not-enoughness? Dr David Hamilton is a speaker, columnist, and author of twelve books, including his most recent, The Joy of Actually Giving a F*ck. He’s delivered kindness sessions for Google, Bank of England, the NHS, and many others. In this episode, David and I...
info_outlineHave you ever wondered if people in the public eye feel bouts of not-enoughness? And if so, how they handle it?
Janette Manrara is a former pro dancer on Strictly Come Dancing, a television show watched by 12-18 million people each week. Janette now hosts the TV programme, It Takes Two, and recently published Tiny Dancer, Big World: How to find fulfilment from the inside out.
In this conversation, Janette and I discuss her unusual entry into professional dance (her “wiggly career”), her moments of not-enoughness resulting from the rejections along the way, and how she finally learned to relate to moments of imposter syndrome and self-doubt (because – spoiler alert – they never go away). There’s a secret insight from Janette in the Outro, so listen to the very end.
(3:18) Mandy’s experience of ballroom dancing.
(6:18) Self-love has been a quest for Janette.
(7:31) Janette shares her career moments of not feeling enough.
(14:11) LA is the most ruthless place on earth for rejection.
(18:57) Janette’s first year on Strictly
(20:56) Her inner critic and not feeling good enough or liked on the show.
(23:26) What Janette would say to her younger self.
(24:42) Lenny Kravitz also has bouts of not-enoughness.
(25:28) Defensive pessimism and a recap of Janette’s points.
(27:28) Imposter syndrome – Janette had no “specialty”
(32:15) Adam Grant’s Overblown Implications Effect, and ‘what are you listening for?’
(34:38) Wiggly careers/skill stacking.
38:52 Emma Reid Turrell: 3 reasons your imposter syndrome might get activated.
(40:20) How Janette handles moments of imposter syndrome.
(44:16) Gratitude (it works, even if it sounds “old hat”).
(47:08) The biggest takeaway Janette readers experience from her book.
(49:00) Enoughness is a practice. Recap of Janette’s practices.
(50:36) Janette’s Brick of Wisdom.
(51:25) Outro and secret bonus insight from Janette on what dance is like for her.
LINKS
IG video of Lenny Kravitz discussing his moments of self-doubt.
Episode 64 on Imposter Syndrome.