Film Snuff
[In HAL 9000’s voice]:
info_outline Episode 118 - The Devil Wears PradaFilm Snuff
The 2006 smash hit "The Devil Wears Prada" seemed to have struck a chord on the piano that is the hearts of moviegoers everywhere, but to us, with its weighty pile of missed notes, it instead felt like ton of ivory falling on our heads.
info_outline Episode 117 - Annie HallFilm Snuff
La-dee-da, la-dee-da. Woody Allen's 1977 Best Picture winner "Annie Hall" is considered his masterpiece and marked his shift from slapstick zany comedies to more heady, romantic fair. This movie is patient zero for annoying, pretentious, pseudo-intellectual romantic comedies that followed (think Rob Reiner, Nora Ephron, Nancy Meyers, Kevin Smith, etc.).
info_outline Episode 116 - Face/OffFilm Snuff
Somehow John Woo’s remake of “Freaky Friday” known as “Face/Off” starring John Travolta and Nicolas Cage where they switch bodies was somehow beloved by audiences—and critics alike—in 1997. This movie has 4,529 missed point-blank gunshots, sappy family drama for no reason, dead kids, white American terrorists (when that was allowed to be a thing), a futuristic Gitmo with magnetic boots, and so many doves.
info_outline Episode 115 - Forrest GumpFilm Snuff
The Best Picture winner for 1994 "Forrest Gump" is itself like a box of chocolates: filled sickly sweets that seem like they’re good on the surface, but end up being too nutty, gooey and annoyingly filled with shrimp.
info_outline Episode 114 - Varsity BluesFilm Snuff
Get your potbelly pigs, concussions, and whipped cream bikinis ready, because we’re covering the 1999 after-school special "Varsity Blues," which tells the story of a jaded back-up quarterback at a small-town Texas high school who has to take over hero responsibilities when the star QB gets injured while also trying to take down their mean old coach.
info_outline Episode 113 - Rain ManFilm Snuff
Uh oh! Definitely did “Rain Man,” definitely did “Rain Man.” Tom Cruise and Dustin Hoffman somehow star as brothers in this manipulative road trip/buddy comedy that topped both the box office and the Oscars in 1988. People love this movie, but it’s nothing more than a con-job that somehow got credit for treating autism authentically, when it actually just uses it as a gimmick to divert your eye from the fact that this is nothing more than formulaic dreck.
info_outline Episode 112 - Raiders of the Lost ArkFilm Snuff
George Lucas and Steven Spielberg whipped up a weird Bible film where a surly, pedophile grave robber tries to beat the Nazis to gain possession of a chest that holds the remains of the Ted Commandments in order to speak directly to God. And it’s a kid’s movie! The first in the "Indiana Jones" film franchise, "Raiders of the Lost Ark" kicked off sequels, prequels, dozens of ripoffs, pop culture staples, and is something we all loved as kids, but forgot to stop pretending is a masterpiece.
info_outline REPLAY: RockyFilm Snuff
While most of us are still on lockdown do to the ongoing coronavirus pandemic, please enjoy this reposting of our episode on the original "Rocky" movie that aired in February 2018. Keating spends a few minutes up front updating you on how his quarantine has been going, and then at the very end, reveals what our newest episode will cover. Stay safe!
info_outline Episode 111 - ArmageddonFilm Snuff
The highest-grossing film of 1998 that was nominated for four Oscars (yes), “Armageddon,” makes its also-awful counterpart “Deep Impact” look like “Citizen Kane.” This explosion-(in space?)-filled blockbuster is another in the painful pop culture cancer filmographies of director Michael Bay and producer Jerry Bruckheimer that likes to remind its audience 500 times that America can do no wrong.
info_outlineIn 2000, Robert Zemeckis made "Cast Away," the longest FedEx commercial in history that masquerades as a trapped-on-a-desert-island story. Granted, the middle section of the film where Tom Hanks is marooned isn't terrible, but the pair of audience-insulting bookending acts that surround it replace any good will that created with seething anger.
Tom Hanks plays Chuck Noland, a man with no time because of his demanding job at FedEx, who is the lone survivor of a plane crash over the Pacific—and then washes ashore a small, uninhabited island in the middle of nowhere.
His deteriorated mental state (which weirdly happens within days) makes him need to paint a face in his own blood on a Wilson-branded volleyball so he has something to talk to. He struggles to survive for years, and eventually is motivated to build a boat to escape by wanting to return a package to its sender and by wanting badly to see his girlfriend again.
Unfortunately his girlfriend played by Helen Hunt has in the meantime married some other dude and had a kid with him. So when Hanks does return, it was all for nothing. Her character is hardly developed, so we don't ultimately care. But it is annoying that everyone close to him blames him for getting stuck on a desert island.
Join us as we wonder if Robert Zemeckis secretly bought stock in FedEx while making this movie, Jim recalls a teacher he hates from grade school, and we sing some Springsteen covers.
ALSO: Here's the link to the Wilson's website where you can buy a bloody volleyball.
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This episode is sponsored by Busted Nut.
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