304: Love and Sex – How They Go Together
Foreplay Radio – Couples and Sex Therapy
Release Date: 10/08/2021
333: Something Better Than Nothing?
Foreplay Radio – Couples and Sex Therapy
Is it worth it to accept something that your partner wants to give you sexually instead of holding out for what you really want? Is something better than nothing? Laurie and George use a tried and true EFT principle called "slicing it thinner" - find a way to help your partner get closer to what you want without them losing themselves or feeling compromised.
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332: Laurie invites her girlfriends for a private talk!
Foreplay Radio – Couples and Sex Therapy
Would you just love to go for a walk with Laurie and talk about sex? Well, on this episode, L invites all of her girlfriends out there to talk about all the stuff - hacks to conquer menopause, how to use a vibrator and what to do if his erection fails. Join in for some girl talk!
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331: Q&A Partners Wanting Sex For Themselves
Foreplay Radio – Couples and Sex Therapy
The million dollar question! (for pursuers) how do you get someone to pursue their own pleasure. In our Q&A, Laurie and George see a reader’s point. For so many reasons it works better when your partner is engaged sexually - they supply desire that fuels the sexual fun, it’s a turn-on to see your partner in uninhibited abandon plus it takes the pressure off from always having to initiate. But there’s a flip side that is often dynamic.
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330: Six Modes of Sex
Foreplay Radio – Couples and Sex Therapy
Lovemaking, maintenance sex, icebreaker sex, the 5-minute window, RED HOT sex, and scheduled sex - all have their merits. Compliments of our friends' blog @thehappymarriageau, George and Laurie riff on these six modes of sex - what they're good for, what the drawbacks are and how connected relationships might make use of all of them. Please follow @thehappymarriageau and us as well on insta @Foreplay_radiosextherapy. And find some fantastic lube at Uberlube.com with 10% off using our coupon "Foreplay."
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329: Red Light; Green Light, Brain Regulation for Better Sex
Foreplay Radio – Couples and Sex Therapy
Keeping connected is easier when we're in green brain - when our brain says we are safe, cared about and even loved - when we can relax, talk, listen with openness. Red brains are escalated, tense, maybe angry or in total shut down. Listen to George and Laurie talk about pulling a partner in red brain into the calm connected place where sex and connection can happen.
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328: Sue Johnson Talks Sex!
Foreplay Radio – Couples and Sex Therapy
FOREPLAY welcomes Emotionally Focused Therapy, founder Dr. Sue Johnson to talk with us about George's driving and the sexual cycle. We laughed together about their early relationship and more seriously about George asking for help after 9/11 with the couples he was seeing and Sue's generous response. Sue gives us a keen example of a uber sexual pursuer and how his needs for attachment drive him even thought his behavior pushes his partner away. Listen up to our discussing with someone who has changed the world with her theory and life's work! For an EFT Therapist or to purchase her...
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327: Withdrawer Vulnerability for the Win-Win
Foreplay Radio – Couples and Sex Therapy
Listen to this emotional episode to to help the withdrawers in your life. Trained to suppress emotions, withdrawers have decided early in life - it's is not okay to have needs. Their nervous systems don't trust because in the past people haven't shown up for them. Even if their pursuing partner are longing to be close and cover them with their love, their hearts believe others are not safe or dependable. George and Laurie think about the actual words that withdrawers might say when they finally reach out to their waiting partners.
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326: World of the Withdrawer
Foreplay Radio – Couples and Sex Therapy
Withdrawers in relationship are steeled against the three waves that come for them... first, they do it wrong for their pursuing partner, next it's their fault for withdrawing and third, they really are nothing after all. Can you see why it makes sense not to engage? If all you get when you engage with your partner is ultimately the knowledge about being not good enough, maybe unloveable - it's soo much better to stay distant. Laurie and George talk about the different strategies that withdrawers use to stay as far away from failing as they can.
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325: Getting Pursuer Needs Met
Foreplay Radio – Couples and Sex Therapy
We want to help pursuers get what they need and then take it into their hearts when it finally comes their way. We know there can be mistrust when a withdrawer at first tries to understand and meet the pursuer's need. Your longing for attention, engagement or sex has left you in fear of always feeling this way. It makes sense that when your withdrawer starts to come forward that you would have serious doubt about their intentions and authenticity. But Laurie and George want to set up both partners for a better reconnection. Please support our sponsors:...
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324: The World of the Pursuer
Foreplay Radio – Couples and Sex Therapy
This is George and Laurie's love letter to those pursuers out there! We see how hard you work. Male or female, sexual or emotional pursuer. We see your good intentions. We see your longing for your partner. We know you are working hard at doing it right and often are only criticized when you blow it. But we are sending love and encouragement. Hang in there.
info_outlineSex and emotions—there’s a delicate balance between the two, an overlap that can’t be ignored. Emotions can enhance sex or inhibit sex, and sex can enhance emotions or inhibit emotions.
Borrowing concepts from the attachment theory, we dive into how sex and emotions intertwine by exploring the role of the Pursuer and Withdrawer...
Great episode for EFTers – So important for therapists to know how to leverage the sexual attachment cycle in order to get change in the emotional attachment cycle and vice versa!
While we don’t always fall neatly into a cycle, there is always a cycle, some level of interdependence. This interdependence can shift as patterns and is not concrete. A Pursuer can become a Withdrawer, or you might find that you were a Pursuer in an old relationship and a Withdrawer in your current relationship. The patterns are not your personality; they are a response to the complexity of sexual and emotional connections.
Understanding yourself and your partner requires intention but a balanced connection is worth the effort.