The Scarcity Mindset Your Kids Might Be Learning From You

Gentlemen, we're two weeks out from Father's Day and this Q&A hit me right in the chest. We've got Joe the Legend joining me today, a father of five who brings that earned wisdom — the kind that only comes from years of being in the trenches, making mistakes, and choosing to grow through them. This conversation is real, raw, and exactly what this community is built on.

We tackle two questions from the Alliance today. The first one is about a 12-year-old daughter who's been lying and stealing from family members — and how to guide her toward accountability while keeping the relationship open and safe. The second one is something almost every dad I know battles: losing patience by the end of the day when the tank is completely empty.

Joe drops some of the most honest perspective you'll hear anywhere on why kids lie and steal, what birth order has to do with it, and how a scarcity mindset can drive behaviors you'd never expect. And then he shares something that personally rocked me — that impatience isn't a discipline problem. It's a selfishness problem. That one landed hard, and I'll explain why.

This is the kind of show that reminds you why we're here. Not to be perfect dads. But to be intentional ones who keep showing up, keep learning, and keep choosing our kids — even when we've got nothing left in the tank.

 

Timeline Summary

[1:01] Larry introduces the show and a special four-part June offer for new Dad Edge Alliance members

[1:38] What's included: signed copy of The Pursuit of Legendary Fatherhood, two courses, and a brand new PDF resource

[3:39] Today's two topics: how to handle a child who is lying and stealing, and losing patience by end of day

[4:00] Morgan (The Engineer) asks his question: his 12-year-old daughter is stealing from family members, often tied to jealousy

[5:36] Joe shares that lying is almost always a defense mechanism and stealing is tied to either scarcity mindset or attention-seeking

[6:55] Joe reflects on growing up without enough — and how that scarcity mindset made stealing feel necessary as a kid

[8:10] Joe raises the birth order question: second borns can feel like second best, and attention imbalance can drive behavior

[9:38] Joe's reframe: are you unintentionally reinforcing scarcity in your home, or creating uneven attention among your kids?

[12:08] Larry tells the story of his son Mason getting caught shoplifting at age 11 — caught on video at a local store

[15:28] Larry calls the store, finds out the owner is a retired cop, and decides not to protect Mason from the consequences

[17:49] Larry takes Mason to face the store owner directly and tells his son: whatever this man asks you to do, you're going to do it

[20:34] The 30-day consequence plan: daily chores, journaling gratitude and reflections, and a final trip to the police station

[22:15] The Sonic parking lot conversation — where Mason finally broke down and told the truth about why he did it

[23:37] Mason's real confession: he was afraid of losing another friend if he didn't go along with the theft

[25:51] Calvin asks his question: how do you stay patient at the end of the day when you're completely drained?

[27:40] Larry's answer: surrender before you walk in the room — pray and admit you can't do it alone

[29:50] Joe's reframe on patience: it's listed as a fruit of the spirit in Galatians, and a lack of it is rooted in selfishness

[31:18] Joe's inner monologue when he feels impatience rising — asking himself whether it's about him or about the person in front of him

[34:29] Joe reflects on the relationship he has with his oldest son today, and why patience made it possible

 

Five Key Takeaways

1. Lying is almost always a defense mechanism — when your child lies, look first at what they're afraid of, not just what they did wrong.
2. Stealing in kids is usually tied to either a scarcity mindset or an attention grab — ask yourself if you're unintentionally reinforcing either one in your home.
3. When your kid does something wrong, connection has to come before correction — Mason's breakthrough happened in a Sonic parking lot, not in a punishment.
4. Impatience isn't a willpower problem, it's a selfishness problem — if you're losing patience, something is encroaching on your agenda, and recognizing that shifts everything.
5. You cannot white-knuckle sustainable patience on your own — whether through faith, community, or both, the fathers who show up consistently are the ones who know they need help.

 

Links & Resources

• The Dad Edge Alliance: https://www.thedadedge.com/join
• Questions for the Car (free PDF): https://www.thedadedge.com/kidquestions
• Episode Show Notes: http://thedadedge.com/1489

 

Closing

This episode is a reminder that the best fathering doesn't happen when we have it all together. It happens in Sonic parking lots, in honest conversations after long days, and in the moments when we finally stop trying to do it alone. Joe's story about his oldest son hit me differently today — knowing how far they've come, knowing there's no reason they should be close, and hearing him say that patience is what made the difference. That's the work, gentlemen. That's exactly the work. If today's conversation meant something to you, pass it to a dad who needs it, leave us a five-star review, and keep showing up for your family every single day. Go out and live legendary.