HTB 013: What Should You Do...?

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In today’s episode you will hear what happens when a famous personal development guru hides his identity. You’ll also understand how the “shoulds” in your life crushes your success and fulfillment. Here are some of the awesome things you will hear in this episode:

• Find out the what NEVER to do if you want real success.
• Find out how what you can ALWAYS count on people doing.
• And see how Satori reveals what to look out for when going for the next level.

So listen here to find out how Satori coaches the best and how you can have an opportunity to apply and talk directly to Satori about creating badass results in your life and business.

What does it mean to live life on your terms? To have the life you want? The business you want? The marriage you want? The health you want? Can you really be fulfilled without it?

Hey what’s up my friends, Satori Mateu here and welcome to a new episode of Halfass to Badass!

Good morning, good evening, good afternoon, whenever you’re listening…

Let me ask you, what does it mean when you say, I should do X I should do Y I should do Z?

If you live in the world of, “I should do X” meaning, I should be a better husband I should be a better wife, I should a better mom, dad, I should be a better leader, I should eat better, I should workout, I should work harder, I should be a better marketer, I should love sales I should be a better “whatever”. I means, you're not living according to your values, according to your standards. According to what YOU want your life, your business your health to be about.

What it really means...you’re living in reaction to other people’s demands and expectations.

That my friend, will never leave you fulfilled, never give you the life you want. It will always leave you unfulfilled, unsatisfied and empty.

Think about it...People will always tell you what you should do, how you should live, what you should focus on, what you should pay attention to, how you should run your business, where you should live, What kind of partner you should be. How you should parent. what you should think, feel, or behave like. People will should all over you. And I know you do that to yourself as well.

People don’t do that because they’re mean, a lot of times they are well meaning people.

But a lot of times people do that because they want you to live according to THEIR values, based on what THEY have learned is the right or wrong way to live, to think, to do business, to take care of of your family.

Sometimes you believe that s*** because you believe it's the right thing, because you don't know clearly what you stand for what you want. And you believe, if I do these things, I'll receive the appreciation, the respect, the acknowledgements from my your peers, my family, my friends. People will love me. That's just not true. They’ll be happy, satisfied, there may not be friction, because you’re doing or behaving according to their blueprint.

So, you may feel appreciated for a moment, but it’s not real. You’re not living your version of your life. You’re a puppet.

If that pushes some of your buttons. Good! I don’t want you to sit here passively and unmoved. What a waste, right? Listen, stay with me. This is for you.

A lot of our clients who come to us have done a lot of personal development work, they have invested a lot time, energy and money both into their personal growth as well as their business growth, hired the gurus, right? And they followed the step. But still something is missing, they're not achieving what they want. I don’t want that for you.

Understanding something conceptually is great, but it’s not the same as living it or being it.

I was speaking to a new client the other day, she’s a successful entrepreneur, a mom of three girls and her husband has a successful business of his own. But she’s struggling because she knows she has so much more to give, she’s reached a certain level of success and now she’s stuck trying to figure out her next level. And she says, “I've spent all this money on courses, seminars, conferences. I’ve done a lot of personal development work, hired business coaches and, I’ve even joined high level masterminds where I’ve paid $25,000...”

I said, “Stop. You haven’t gotten the results you were after, you feel disappointed, you’re frustrated, you’re still stuck, you’re overwhelmed and your spouse thinks you wasted your money.” She starts laughing, “I guess this is not the first time you hear this?”

“That’s right. They sold you the fantasy that you were going to hang out with this great group of people, (which I’m sure they were) that were just like you and that the “guru” the person selling you on this program was going to hang out with you, teach you their secrets, that you were going to rub shoulders with millionaires and that your life was going to be totally different. I get it.”  

I said, “I know. I understand. And a lot of times they puff themselves up (overvalue themselves), meaning charge a lot more than the value they provide. Which really means, the fantasy they sold you and what they actually deliver, doesn’t match. I get it. It happens. It doesn’t mean that everything and everyone out there is bad. That’s not what I’m saying. There are some amazing teachers out there. But you gotta be selective.

“Here’s the thing”, I told her,”If you listen to anybody telling you what you ‘should’ do, and don't think for yourself (and align with what matters to you), you’re going to spend years trying to achieve something they want, instead of achieving something you want to achieve. I’m going save you years of struggle and frustration, of pain, by getting you clear, first on what powers YOU up. Who cares about what powers me up, that’s not going to change your life. We need to  understand, truly understand your real core values, and in order to do that we’re going to need to unlearn who you “think” you should be, or outha be. Because with all the success you’ve already achieved there’s a major gap between what you show the world and who you are when you are alone. Even that version of you (the alone version) is not clear of the truth, is this making sense?.”

She’s like, “What do you mean?”

“Well, the version of you even in your darkest moments, is based on a bunch of lies and expectations you have on yourself, that you’ve learned, based on how you think you “should be like” or “must” be like to be worthy of the love, appreciation, or respect around you. That’s why you’ve been carrying around the mask for so long. So even when you try to analyze yourself (which I can tell is exhausting to you) you don’t who you are. And how could you know, right? You’ve been told all your life how you “should be” How you should think and feel and behave. Right? How you should run your business,  how you should parent your girls. And if it’s not your family and friends, society, social media, the news, the government will be quick to tell you. Are you with me?”

“Yeah, I have a lot I want to accomplish in my life, I have big vision. I’m passionate. I don’t want to be stuck anymore. I want my husband to support me. I don’t want to be in a battle feeling like a bad mom or wife, that I have to sacrifice one or the other.”

“Yeah of course you don’t. Which is why we have to take control, take command of all those overwhelming pieces that are just looping in your head.Our first step here is for you to evaluate what to focus on, where you get your information, who you need to bring into your life (and save you decades of struggle) which is why you hired me, and we need to clarify and understand what YOU want to create and build, what really matters to you and what’s going to fuel your fire without all the should’s.”

Our first week working together was all about unlearning, unwiring all the crap, all the shoulds she had been driving herself nuts with for a lifetime. (Things she didn’t do anyways, but thought she had to). Are you getting this?

Let me ask you, what are the things you think you, “should” do or “oughta” do or “have” to do that drives you nuts, overwhelms you, that stresses you out and that you’re still not doing?! But you think you “should”. Or if you’re doing it, you hate it? It doesn’t give you energy, it drains your energy? Slows you down. Maybe you don’t even know why you’re still doing it. Are you following this?

When we remove the facade of how you appear to the world and uncover the version of you that you feel aligned with, this is when you become unshakeable, this is when your badass life is even possible.

There are so many leaders, so many presenters, thought leaders, experts, entrepreneurs who have a built an identity in the world of how they “have” to show up and so they have this massive inner conflict because they feel like a fraud. Their whole persona is built on being, “Mr or Mrs, “Success” so when they go home to their families, they have to deal with this other person who is aggressive, emotionally unstable, and this my friend, creates conflicts and destroys families. And it doesn’t have to be this way.

I was working with a very big personality, a very famous and successful personal development and business guru. And on stage he was always portraying this flawless personality but behind closed doors he was explosive and hot tempered. He would lose his shit on his family. Then he felt guilt, shame. Judged himself. And it created a lot of friction.

This is not unusual. It’s very common. The problem is not the actual behavior is that he felt forced to hide it. All this shame around it, “What are people going to think about me? I should be this kinda well put together successful person that everyone sees. But I’m not.” All this internal turmoil and conflict.

Once we started closing the gap of this “fantasy persona” he felt forced to be, he became a more present, more poised, more balanced person so that the person on stage and off stage was one and the same. This is how he could have a more fulfilled and inspired life, rather than living in constant internal friction and conflict. Because on the outside nobody knew because they all put him on a pedestal. They liked to believe the fantasy.

I’m asking you to stop chasing fantasy people, stop trying to live up to other people’s expectations and demands of how you should be and get clear on who you want to be without the fantasies, “shoulds”, “ought-to’s” “musts” without the mask.

Same thing with this podcast, I can't please everyone, and I have no desire to please everyone, the truth is, I don't want to please anyone! All I want is for you to take control, take command, to dominate your life, your business, you family, YOU and your stinking thinking. Because if you don't, you'll end up living a mediocre, Halfass life, and at the end of your life, wondering, what did I do with my life?

Not a place you want to be. I believe it’s not a place ANYONE listening wants to be, you agree?

I hope this was valuable, I know it is, I just hope you make it important enough, to not just listen to me passively, for your entertainment, I hope you DO something about this. So what can you do? Well, a few things. Send this episode to someone you love, someone you care about because you are not alone with these struggles. And if you lie to yourself thinking you’re a totally

aligned, and have no struggles, then look again, Because I have not met a single human being that is friction free, always in command and never controlled by internal conflicts. But the people I know and I love to fight for, are the people who can tell the truth about it. No need for shame. No need to hide. No need to make some perfect exterior, but who can stop and say, “I want more, I know I’m made for more. I have so much more. I’m not going to live in regret.” And they have the courage to DO something about it. That is a Badass. And that is what makes a Badass Life even possible. Are you with me?

People have been asking, “How can I work with you? How can I get more of this, is there a way to involve my family, my team? Without paying $250,000. This is so important. Is there a more hands on, interactive way to be part of this Badass Community where we can bring people together?” And believe me, I know with a lot entrepreneurs and builders of any kind (families, businesses),  it can be a path where you feel alone and disconnected at times, where you’re misunderstood. How do you keep growing your business, stay connected with your spouse and your kids without the bumps and the bruises of building something meaningful. It can be tough, right? People feel neglected, like they are not a priority, they don’t feel supported. How do we deal with it? How do we keep growing? How do we feel seen on this continues path of living a Badass Life? I’ve listened. We haven’t opened the doors, yet, but if you enjoy these conversations I’ve had with you so far, if you want more of this, but with interaction, and be able to ask me questions and hear others like minded, just like you get mentored by me, you can get yourself on the waitlist to Badass Nation. Just go to HalfassToBadass.com and join the waitlist and when the doors are ready to be open, you’ll be the first one to know. Cool?

BOOM! How’d you like that?

If you're wanting to grow and scale your business you're probably studying a lot. That's great. You're probably studying all the different strategies out there, right? That's also great.
But the hardest part is figuring out how to remove overwhelm and friction and get done what matters without burning yourself and without killing yourself in the process, right?
That's what I struggled with for a while until I learned the secrets of Precision Based Growth.
So if you’re wondering how Precision Based Growth can work in your business or life, I created a special opportunity for you to get on a call with me to get you on track with the right focus, and more important, how to maximize growth, maximize efficiency and simplify. You’re not alone.
Wanna talk?

I’m only one person, so this is on a first come, first serve basis. Spots are extremely limited, so if you’re serious and you want me to personally answer your direct questions.
You can apply for your spot by going to TalkToSatori.com.
Again, that's TalkToSatori.com.