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Release Date: 09/18/2019

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More Episodes

HAPPY NATIONAL PREPAREDNESS MONTH! Join us as we celebrate having our shit together when life surprises us with disastrous bullshit! Today we're celebrating with friend and comedian Dan Kapr (danhasjokes.com / Twitter: @danhasjokes / Instagram: danhasjokes)!! LET'S PARTY!!

Find Holiday Party online – Patreon: patreon,com/HOLIDAYPARTY Twitter: @HOLIDAYPARTYPOD / Instagram: HOLIDAYPARTYPODCAST / Facebook: @HOLIDAYPARTYPODCASTHOLIDAYPARTYPODCAST.COM

Find Alyssa – Twitter: @alyssapants / Instagram: lettertalkpodcast / alyssapants.com

Find Disa – Twitter: @cinnamonenemy / Spotify: open.spotify.com/user/1243777842

SHOW NOTES

  • History/Fun facts about the holiday
    • Lifted straight from Wikipedia: “Preparedness refers to a very concrete research-based set of actions that are taken as precautionary measures in the face of potential disasters. These actions can include both physical preparations, such as emergency supplies depots, adapting buildings to survive earthquakes, etc., and trainings for emergency action. Preparedness is an important quality in achieving goals and in avoiding and mitigating negative outcomes.”
      • There are different types of preparedness, including public health preparedness, local emergency preparedness or snow preparedness, and “disaster preparedness,” which is probably the most developed type. 
      • “Disaster Preparedness” is defined by the UN as involving “forecasting and taking precautionary measures to an imminent threat when advance warnings are possible.” Along with natural disasters, this type can include all kinds of severe damage caused in a relatively short period of time, including warfare.
      • Preparedness is a major phase of emergency management, and is particularly valued in areas of competition such as sport and military science
      • Methods of preparation include research, estimation, planning, resourcing, education, practicing, and rehearsing
      • In the US, preparedness used to be largely viewed as the responsibility of first responders and other emergency services. In the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina, it became evident that first responders can and will become overwhelmed in a large-scale disaster; unable to effectively respond to the emergency. The idea of whole community preparedness is, “By working together, everyone can keep the nation safe from harm and resilient when struck by hazards, such as natural disasters, acts of terrorism, and pandemics.” 
    • National Preparedness Month has been observed every September since 2004, and is sponsored by FEMA. It is part of a governmental effort to strengthen the United States’ preparedness capabilities. The national preparedness architecture encompasses prevention, protection, response, and recovery efforts to prepare the US for all hazards, whether terrorist attack or natural disaster
      • September was chosen “as the tragedies of the September 11, 2001 highlighted to the nation the importance of being prepared.” It was also partly chosen because the peak of the Atlantic hurricane season occurs in mid-September
      • As of 2016, the National Household Survey revealed that while more than 75% of Americans surveyed report having supplies set aside in their homes just for disasters, less than 50% have a household emergency plan
      • National Preparedness Month serves to encourage people to take important preparedness steps including: getting an emergency supply kit, making a family emergency plan, being informed about the different emergencies that may affect them, as well as taking the necessary steps to get trained and become engaged in community preparedness and response efforts
      • Some big-picture basics that you can personally assess and adjust may include (from consumer.ftc.gov) organizing your finances by having your financial documents up-to-date, in one place, and portable; replacing missing documents; checking your insurance to see if any of them will pay for temporary shelter, replacement clothing, furniture, or other items; preparing your home against fires, earthquakes, high winds and tornadoes, storms, or flooding; planning for your pets; and signing up for alerts and warnings in your area
      • A typical emergency or survival kit could include a knife (often a Swiss army knife or a multi-tool), matches, tinder, first aid kit, bandana, fish hooks, sewing kit, and a flashlight. The American Red Cross recommends an emergency preparedness kit that is easy to carry and use in the event of an emergency or disaster
        • The general contents of an emergency kit depend on the location, though basic components address the needs of first aid, food, water, shelter and warmth, navigation, and signaling
        • The Wikipedia article for Survival Kits has a relatively exhaustive list of options for each of these components, so you can check there or the American Red Cross for ideas to customize your own kit
        • The article also includes information for other types of survival kits, such as for lifeboats, military, spacecraft, mini-survival or “Altoids tin” kits, and vehicle kits
          • The spacecraft kits are provided due to the difficulty of predicting where a spacecraft will land on its return to earth, especially in the case of an equipment failure. For example, the Apollo program kit was “designed to provide a 48-hour postlanding survival capability for three crewman between 40 degrees North and South latitudes” and contained “a survival radio, a survival light assembly, desalter kits, a machete, sunglasses, water cans, sun lotion, a blanket, a pocket knife, netting and foam pads.”
          • “Altoid tin” kits generally contain a few basic tools, such as a small compass, waterproof matches, minimum fishing tackles, large plastic bag, small candle, jigsaw blade, craft knife or scalpel blade, and/or a safety pin
        • For natural disasters, the US government Homeland Security provides a list of recommended in-home kit items, with the content focusing on the basics of survival: fresh water, food, clean air, and materials to maintain body warmth. These items comprised into a kit are known as a bug-out bag, and include: 
          • At least one gallon of water per person for each day of drinking and sanitation
          • Non-perishable food for at least three days, which does not require being cooked or refrigerated
          • Emergency food bars, preferably products with 2400 or 3600 calories and contain no coconut or tropical oils to which many people may have an allergic reaction
          • Battery- or hand-powered radio with the Weather band
          • LED type flashlight, either battery- or hand-powered
          • Extra batteries for anything needing them, lithium being preferred for shelf life
          • First aid kit
          • Copies of any medical prescriptions
          • A whistle for signaling
          • Dust mask, plastic sheeting and duct tape to shelter in place
          • Moist towelettes, garbage bags, and plastic ties for personal sanitation
          • Wrench or pliers to turn off water valves
          • Can opener
          • Local maps
          • Spare keys for household and motor vehicles
          • Sturdy, comfortable shoes and lightweight rain gear
          • Contact and meeting place information for the household
          • Bug-out bags, or BOBs, are variably known as “Personal Emergency Relocation Kits, or PERKs, or “get out of dodge” (GOOD) kits. They’re typically backed into backpacks or duffel bags, and designed specifically to be more easily carried by the individual in case alternate forms of transportation are unavailable or impossible to use
      • Some additional pointers to consider, from epa.gov, include
        • How to report emergencies:
          • Call 911 if you are in immediate danger--although that might not work anyway, as we can glean from a very recent case in Arkansas. According to the Daily Wire, 47-year old Debra Stevens called 911 on August 24 while on her newspaper delivery route when her SUV was trapped in a flash flood. The call lasted 22 minutes, during which time Debra conveyed her fear and confusion and the dispatcher responded dismissively and callously. 
            • NOTE: I will not be going over the full details of this case, because they’re deeply upsetting. I made the mistake of listening to some of the audio of the 911 call and I greatly wish I hadn’t
            • SYNOPSIS: Stevens called 911 when her car was suddenly swept away from rapid flash flood waters and into a grove of trees. The dispatcher was dismissive, rude, and condescending throughout the call, in response to Stevens’ panic and distress. By the time first responders were attempting to reach Stevens, she had drowned. 
            • Stevens, while in her car that was trapped amongst a group of trees: “I have an emergency--a severe emergency. I can’t get out, and I’m scared to death, ma’am. Can you please help me”?
            • Dispatcher: “You’re not going to die. I don’t know why you’re freaking out...You freaking out is doing nothing but losing your oxygen in there. So, calm down.” 
            • “Stevens said that she hadn’t seen the water and had plunged into it; that the water was now as high as her chest. She added that she could see people in the distance who were likely laughing at her. She apologized to the dispatcher, adding that she felt she was about to throw up.”
            • Dispatcher: “Well, you’re in water, you can throw up. It’s not going to matter.” 
            • Stevens: “Please help and get me out of this water, dear Father.” Then she apologized again for her rudeness.
            • Dispatcher: “This will teach you next time don’t drive in the water.” 
            • Stevens: “I couldn’t see it ma’am. I’m sorry or I wouldn’t have.” She said she had delivered the newspaper on the same route for 21 years and never seen anything like it. 
            • Dispatcher: “I don’t know how you didn’t see it. You had to go right over it. The water just didn’t appear.” 
            • The dispatcher went on to take other calls, including relaying to first responders that “she is legit freaking out.” When Stevens said, “I’m going to die!”, the dispatcher responded, “ Miss Debbie, you’re breathing just fine because you’re screaming at me. So, calm down. I know you’re scared. Hold on for me.” 
            • Roughly an hour later, rescuers found Stevens’ car. She had drowned. 
            • The dispatcher had already submitted her resignation earlier in August. Her last day was reportedly the day Stevens died.  That dispatcher had previously been awarded Police Dispatcher of the Year
          • To report oil, chemical, or hazardous substance releases or spills, call the National Response Center at 1-800-424-8802
          • For pesticide poisoning, call Poison Control at 1-800-222-1222
          • For individuals and homeowners, you should know ahead of time where you can run a generator. Generator exhaust is toxic and can sicken or kill you. Always put generators outside well away from doors, windows, and vents. Never use generators inside a home, basement, garage, crawlspace, tent, shed, or any other indoor or enclosed area. Carbon monoxide, the deadly gas produced by generator use which you cannot see or smell, can build up quickly, and linger for hours
            • In April 2015, a father and his seven children were found dead in their Maryland home from carbon monoxide poisoning from a generator they were using because they could not afford their electricity bills. The father, Rodney Todd Sr. was 36, and his childrens’ ages ranged from 6-16 
            • Extended family noted that he’d purchased the generator to keep his family warm after the electricity was cut off due to an outstanding bill. The generator was out of fuel and turned off when the family was discovered
          • If your drinking water is from a private well, know your state or local contacts for inspecting the safety your drinking water after a flood. Keep at least a 3-day drinking supply per person, as well as additional water for any pets
          • If your home is on a septic system, know whom to call to have it inspected after a flood before you use it
    • Preppers!
      • The term “prepper” generally refers to an individual who participates in a movement known as “survivalism” and who actively prepares for emergencies, including possible disruptions in social or political order, on scales from local to international. The survivalism movement also encompasses preparation for personal emergencies, such as job loss or being stranded in the wild or under adverse weather conditions. Overall, there is an emphasis on self-reliance, stockpiling supplies, and gaining survival knowledge and skills, and it’s not uncommon for preppers to acquire emergency medical and self-defense training, stockpile food and water, prepare for self-sufficiency, and build structures such as survival retreats or underground shelters that may help them survive a catastrophe
        • Use of the term “survivalist” dates back to 1976
        • The use of the term “prepper” appears to have taken on the more pejorative use around the year 2000, after Y2K failed to bring about “the end of the world as we know it”, and preppers were subsequently mocked for their panic and ridiculed as “kooky” 
        • The origins of the modern survivalist movement in the UK and US include government policies, threats of nuclear warfare, religious beliefs, and writers who warned of social or economic collapse
        • The Cold War era civil defense programs promoted public atomic bomb shelters, personal fallout shelters, and training for children. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints had long directed their members to store a year’s worth of food for themselves and their families in preparation for such possibilities, but the current teaching advises only a three-month supply
        • The Great Depression is often cited by preppers as an example of the need to be prepared
        • “Interest in the movement picked up during the Clinton administration due in part to the debate surrounding the Federal Assault Weapons Ban and the ban’s subsequent passage in 1994. Interest peaked again in 1999 triggered by fears of the Y2K computer bug
        • Another wave of survivalism began after the 9/11 attacks and subsequent bombings in Bali, Madrid, and London. Additional events that have nudged this ideology along include the 2004 Indian Ocean earthquake and tsunami, Hurricane Katrina, the 2008 Great Recession, the advent of H1N1 Swine Flu in 2009 
        • Following the 2012 Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting, the “prepper” community worried they would face public scrutiny after it was revealed the mass murderer’s mother was a survivalist
          • To recap, on December 14, 2012, 20-year old Adam Lanza shot and killed 26 people, 20 of whom were children under the age of 7, after shooting his mother at their Newtown home. He then shot himself in the head.
          • In addition to the three firearms that Lanza took with him to the shooting, he had access to three additional firearms at the home that he shared with his mother, and she was described as a “gun enthusiast who owned at least a dozen firearms. She often took her two sons to a local shooting range, where they learned to shoot.”
        • Common preparations among the community include the creation of a clandestine or defensible retreat, haven, or bug out location, in addition to the stockpiling of non-perishable food, water, water-purification equipment, clothing, seed, firewood, defensive or hunting weapons, ammunition, agricultural equipment, and medical supplies
      • Survivalist terminology!--survivalists maintain their group identity by using specialized terminology not generally understood outside their circles. So I’m about to bust. That. Shit. Down. They often use military acronyms such as OPSEC or Operations Security, and SOP or Standard Operating Procedure, as well as terms that are unique to their own survivalist groups, including:
        • Alpha strategy: the practice of storing extra consumable items, as a hedge against inflation, and for use in barter and charity
        • Ballistic wampum: ammunition stored for barter purposes
        • BOB: Bug-Out Bag
        • BOL: Bug-Out Location
        • BOV: Bug-Out Vehicle
        • Doomer: A peak oil adherent who believes in a Malthusian-scale social collapse
        • EDC: EveryDay Carry. What one carries at all times in case disaster strikes while one is out and about. Also refers to the normal carrying of a pistol for self-defense, or the pistol which is carried
        • EOTW: End of the world
        • EROL: Excessive rule of law, describing a situation where a government becomes oppressive and uses its powers and laws to control citizens
        • Goblin: a criminal miscreant
        • Golden horde: the anticipated large mixed horde of refugees and looters that will pour out of the metropolitan regions WTSHTF (when the shit hits the fan)
        • G.O.O.D: Get out of dodge. Fleeing urban areas in the event of a disaster
        • G.O.O.D. kit: Get out of dodge kit, synonymous with BOB
        • I.N.C.H. pack: I’m Never Coming Home pack, or a pack containing everything needed to walk out into the woods and never return to society. It is a heavy pack loaded with the gear needed to accomplish any wilderness tasks, from building shelter to gaining food, designed to allow someone to survive indefinitely in the woods. This requires skills as well as proper selection of equipment, as one can only carry so much. For example, instead of carrying food, one carries seeds, steel traps, a longbow, reel spinners, and other fishing gear
        • Pollyanna or Polly: Someone who is in denial about the disruption that might be caused by the advent of a large-scale disaster
        • Prepper: A synonym for survivalist that came into common usage during the early 2000s. Used interchangeably with survivalist much as retreater was in the 1970s. Refers to one who is prepared or making preparations
        • SHTF: Shit hits the fan
        • TEOTWAWKI: The end of the world as we know it. The expression is in use since at least the early 1980s, however others claim the acronym may have been coined in 1996
        • Uncivilization: A generic term for a great catastrophe
        • WROL: Without rule of law, describing a potential lawless state of society
        • YOYO: You’re on your own
        • Zombie: Unprepared, incidental survivors of a prepped-for disaster, “who feed on… the preparations of others”
        • Zombie apocalypse: Used by some preppers as a tongue-in-cheek metaphor for any natural or man-made disaster and “a clever way of drawing people’s attention to disaster preparedness”. The premise of the Zombie Squad is that “if you are prepared for a scenario where the walking corpses of your family and neighbors are trying to eat you alive, you will be prepared for almost anything.” Though “there are some… who are seriously preparing for a zombie attack.”
      • Some famous preppers include (from trueprepper.com):
        • Nathan Fillion, who apparently is a self-taught welder so that he can armor up his SUV for the zombie apocalypse. He was on Conan and jokingly argued that he’d be valuable in such an environment, and people would be incentivized to help him survive
        • Ronda Rousey is a prepper that lives on her homestead in Southern California with her husband and a ton of goats. She has stated, “A lot of these skills that were common place, every generation we know less and less and less about them because it makes people for us not to know. Every single person in here their survival plan is a grocery store. If all the grocery stores closed, what would you do? That’s a scary thought.”
        • Zooey Deschanel also outed herself on Conan as something of a prepper, mentioning that she tries to dress in order to be able to make a quick getaway at any time--flat shoes, a cross-body bag, “agile” clothing. She also looks for the exits in any room, has an earthquake kit including a tent
        • Roseanne Barr is a very active advocate for prepping. In one of her tweets, she’s said, “In America: be prepared by organizing with your neighbors to grow wholesome food/store water/vitamins/guns.”
        • Jamie Lee Curtis is a Red Cross advocate and has consistently supported them in their mission to teach the importance of preparedness, including shooting a 2-minute video showing how to customize an emergency kit. Her recommendations included a photo of the family to comfort any children, candy and games for said children, rechargeable flashlights, dental floss, comfort food, sturdy shoes for foot protection, and a mobile means of keeping the kit such as a backpack.
        • The National Enquirer “outed” Ryan Seacrest in 2017, with his staff reported that he stocks up on protein bars and that he’s “gripped by weird, unreasoning terror that LA is waay overdue for another devastating earthquake!”
      • In November 2018,, a hunter in Wisconsin discovered a door “peeking out from behind some thick underbrush off a dirt trail.” The door had been built into the earth and hidden strategically behind branches and shrubs. He reported the finding to police, but authorities were “unsuccessful with any results” during their follow-up. The hunter, Thomas Nelson, ruminated on his creepy discovery for nearly a year before he decided to retrace his steps to further investigate the door on his own, and returned to the location in August of this year. 
        • When Nelson opened the door, he found a man lying in a bed in the cave-like hideout. Nelson quickly contacted police and lead them directly to the site, where officers made 50-60 verbal commands and banged on the cave roof until the mystery man emerged about 20 minutes later, fully dressed in camouflage
        • The guy turned out to be Jeremiah Button, a man who had been two weeks away from standing  trial for charges of child sexual assault and child pornography charges before he abruptly disappeared in February 2016.
          • Button had been out on $25k bond for 18 months, and in that time he built his small, wooden bunker into an embankment along the Ice Age Trail in a state park near Ringle, Wisconsin
          • When he emerged from his cave with his hands up, he stated, “I am a wanted man,” and officers noted that he was “extremely chatty and remarked how ‘it was nice to talk to some human beings.’”
          • Button apparently chose the location due to its remoteness and proximity to a local landfill, which he would regularly forage for food and supplies. This is even where he found his camouflage outfit, which he called “a really great find.”
          • Other than his landfill excursions, Button had stocked up with backpacks of canned goods, and other supplies, including a flat-screen TV. On top of the cave, officers found several solar panels and car batteries, which Button later stated he used to power his radio, TV, lights, and fans
          • For backup power, he created a generator using a bicycle that he would pedal
          • He ensured that he always had water by seeking out a particularly wet part of the woods and building a well. He would then filter the water through charcoal and sand-lined filters before boiling it
        • Prior to his disappearance, “Button was set to stand trial for four counts of child sexual assault and child pornography from 2014, including first-degree sexual assault and incest with a child,” charges to which he had pleaded not guilty
        • In order to trick people into believing he fled the midwest, Button left his wallet at his mother’s house with a note that he was moving to Florida. “He then hopped into a train’s coal car in Stevens Point and covered himself with coal. Once he got to an area near his bunker, he got lost, taking two days of walking to find his way back to it. 
        • Fortunately, he is currently in custody and awaiting his next day in court, which is September 16.
      • From the Cracked article “6 Odd Things Doomsday Preppers Stockpile (That Make Sense)”, preppers are known to have a more-than-healthy supply of the following: 
        • Non-lubricated condoms, since they’re apparently useful for starting fires by protecting tinder from moisture, hunting for food by turning it into a slingshot, transporting up to 2 liters of water, using as stand-ins for rubber gloves, and protecting the muzzle of your gun
        • Dog gear. Dogs can carry their own supplies without complaint, sniff out food and water, and search for and bring down prey. They also “have a long...history of offensive and defensive combat use. Essentially, prepping for your dog’s survival may be imperative to your own odds of survival
        • Booze, and not just for partying or drowning your lonely sorrows after everyone you know has died of syphilis because they didn’t pack any condoms. In the past, adding spirits to potable water that’s been sitting around for a long time will make it much more palatable. Liquor distillation was originally invented in part for medical purposes, and alcohol can be used as a solvent to dissolve medicinal herbs, as well as to knock out patients for surgery when modern anesthesia wouldn’t be available. If the ABV is high enough, alcohol can also be used as ignition fuel. It may also be useful as a bartering good, since money will basically be worthless
        • Baking soda, to be used for brushing your teeth so that you can continue to easily eat, cleaning your dishes, preventing body odor for when you’re sneaking up on a prey animal with a keen sense of smell, dousing an accidental fire, and preventing “trench foot” by absorbing the moisture your feet produce every day. Trench foot occurs when your feet are wet for long periods of time, with extreme cases leading to the tissue dying and falling off which may result in the loss of toes, the heel, or the entire foot. We learned on National Laundry Day that you perspire about 1.6 gallons of sweat each day, and half of that is through your feet. 
        • Cigarettes for currency. In traumatic situations, like war for example, cigarettes are often valued more highly than food. Cigarettes are also useful for starting fires, and the filters can be used to clean water. You can also use water-soaked cigarette butts as natural pest control on any produce you attempt to grow
        • And finally epinephrine, AKA adrenaline, which can be used as a drug for blood pressure support and vasoconstrictor. The latter is particularly useful to aid in faster wound repair, which would be especially desirable in the even that sanitization resources become limited. The longer a wound stays open and bloody, the more likely you are to get infections, which are not always easily survivable even with today’s medical treatment options. Epinephrine also  increases your heart rate and blood flow to your muscles, which could obviously prove life-saving in a harrowing situation
      • If you want to be a prepper, or consider yourself one already, you might appreciate the website prepperwebsite.com! The font is super annoying, but the front page will regale you with many, many recent blog posts with tips and ideas, including such gems as:
        • “How Long Do Potatoes Last? 7 Tips to Maximize Shelf Life”
        • “All-Natural Fruit Tree Bait for Insects: It Works!”
        • “Disinfecting Instruments”
        • “4 Canning Dangers to Be Aware Of”
        • “Silkie Chickens: Should You Get Them?”
  • Activities to celebrate
    • Each year features a different theme. According to ready.gov, the theme for 2019 is Prepared, Not Scare. Be Ready for Disasters
    • This theme is then broken down into weekly themes, with specific suggestions included on the website for each week
      • Week 1: Save early for Disaster Costs
      • Week 2: Make a Plan to Prepare for Disasters
      • Week 3: Teach Youth to Prepare for Disasters
      • Week 4: Get Involved in Your Community’s Preparedness
    • They recommend using the following hashtags during the course of the month:
      • #YouthPrep, #ReadyKids, #Prepare Now, #FloodSmart
    • Share public service announcements and instructional videos https://www.ready.gov/videos
    • Print, share, or order FREE emergency preparedness publications https://www.ready.gov/publications
    • Download the FEMA app for disaster resources, weather alerts, and safety tips https://www.fema.gov/mobile-app
    • Sign up for preparedness text messages. Text PREPARE to 43362 (4FEMA) to receive preparedness tips https://www.ready.gov/get-tech-ready
    • Share preparedness information from ready.gov in 12 other languages https://www.ready.gov/languages
    • Remember to include emergency preparedness messages in your social media, email signature, monthly newsletters, or other messaging tools
      • From National Day Calendar: “Preparing for a disaster might seem like an impossible task and we hope you never have to experience one. But if you do, government agencies like FEMA and the Center for Disease Control and Prevention, as well as organizations like the American Red Cross, provide excellent websites with enough information to get you started. These websites also offer suggestions on how to plan in specific instances, like being without power for weeks. Your insurance companies will also have information you can use as you prepare. Insurance companies encourage families to prepare for disasters. It makes their jobs easier once the emergency is over and it also gives you peace of mind that were covered correctly.”
      • Use #NationalPreparednessMonth in social media postings
      • An organization can become a National Preparedness Month Coalition Member by agreeing to participate in a preparedness activity or event in the month of September. Coalition members have agreed to promote emergency preparedness through a variety of different ways. Members can sponsor events, coordinate Disaster Preparedness Days, create Disaster Checklists, assist with the creation of emergency kits and survival kits, along with many other Preparedness activities

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