Wanting to Believe

“How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever?
    How long will you hide your face from me?

How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
    and day after day have sorrow in my heart?
    How long will my enemy triumph over me?

Look on me and answer, Lord my God.
    Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death,

and my enemy will say, “I have overcome him,”
    and my foes will rejoice when I fall.

But I trust in your unfailing love;
    my heart rejoices in your salvation.

I will sing the Lord’s praise,
    for he has been good to me” (Psalm 13).

Continuing to work through themes related to suffering and healing in connection with New Hope and hearing stories about our siblings in Christ in the global church, today we are going to talk about lament. In the fifth week of the New Hope program, participants engage with the story of Jesus’ crucifixion, and they hear the words of Christ’s own lament on the cross, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” Jesus is quoting the beginning of Psalm 22, a lament which would have been well-known by the Jewish onlookers and similar to Psalm 13, our text for today.

Lament psalms like these are prevalent in Scripture, particularly in the Psalter. In fact, individual psalms of lament are the most common type of psalm in the Psalter. As we’ve just noted, Jesus himself, in his death on the cross, affirms the centrality of lament to the Christian experience of suffering. And yet, even as the importance of lament is being recovered in some church contexts, we are still often uncomfortable with this practice. John Calvin loved the psalms and wrote a commentary on them, describing the Psalter as an “anatomy of all parts of the soul.” Yet, many churches today continue to be ill-equipped with liturgical resources for the practice of lament. Perhaps this is because lament disrupts the status quo evident in popular modern cultural scripts related to suffering such as “pull yourself up by your bootstraps” or “mind over matter.” In answer, lament psalms give scriptural testimony to the importance of allowing space for deep grief, fear, betrayal, and anger, and inviting God to meet us there. 

On another note, the language that these lament psalms use, addressing God directly and inviting him into suffering or questioning his role in it, challenge another impulse common in our context–that suffering can only be effectively dealt with through medical or psychological interventions, and that spiritual and religious traditions are only for the seasons that things are going well or for the private lives of individuals, not to be engaged in the public sphere (something the church regrettably and often unintentionally confirms when we fail to engage in lament in corporate worship and allow it to translate into public action for justice). 

In one New Hope group I led, a training for ministry leaders from around the world who were learning the program so as to be able to pass it along to their own ministry teams, one of the leaders confessed in frustrated tears to the group that they could not engage in the activity for this fifth week of the program. The activity involved writing a lament using four simple prompts: First, “Jesus, these things happened to me…” Second, “Jesus, I am/I feel…” Third, “Jesus, the worst part of this was…” 

The fourth prompt was the most challenging for the leader because it then makes the same movement that Psalm 13 does in the last couple of verses when it says, “But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing the Lord’s praise,  for he has been good to me.” The fourth prompt asks participants to finish this statement: “But I believe (or want to believe because I’ve heard this about you) that you are…” This prompt indicates that lament is not an expression of the worshipper’s own experience or personal desires exclusively, but always grounded in God’s character and faithfulness. It’s often the greatest challenge because, in the midst of deep suffering, it is only natural to wonder about who God is and what he is up to.

What we came to together as a group of ministry leaders when we discussed our members’ challenge with writing this part of the lament is that this final phrase is not simply tritely hopeful or falsely optimistic. Rather, it is an acknowledgment that the source of our complaint or our pain is something which not only offends and causes us pain, but it is actually an offense to God himself. The Bible’s testimony is that the sin and evil which causes harm to God’s beloved creation, including each of us, is even more painful to God. Thus, lament faithfully insists that God be who God has revealed himself to be. 

If you’d like to try writing a lament of your own today, I’ll include the prompts in the notes of the podcast. God is not threatened by your complete honesty about your pain. He chose to make known his character and promises to his people. So you can freely answer: How are you hurting today? What do you believe, or want to believe, about who God is?

As you journey on, go with the blessing of God:

May the peace of the Lord Christ go with you: wherever he may send you. May he guide you through the wilderness: protect you through the storm. May he bring you home rejoicing; at the wonders he has shown you. May he bring you home rejoicing once again into our doors.

Lament Prompts

• Jesus, these things happened to me: ____________________________

• Jesus, I am/I feel ____________________________ (suffering, hurting, in pain, discouraged, desperate)

• Jesus, the worst part of this was ____________________________

• But I believe (or want to believe because I’ve heard this about you) that you are ____________________________