Disciplining to Receive

I can do all this through him who gives me strength. Yet it was good of you to share in my troubles (Philippines 4:13-14).

We continue with the theme of contentment. Paul learned contentment in all things through his reliance on Christ. But this was not a simple two-way street between Paul and Jesus. Our Lord used other people to provide for Paul, as he does for us. Paul knew this and was glad for the gifts from the Philippian church. But this is a difficult teaching.

Many of us are rather stoic when it comes to receiving support from others. We decline when someone offers to pay for or give us something. We feel a certain kind of guilt or shame. Maybe we think we are deficient because we needed help. Or we feel that our relationship is now out of balance – we owe them.

People who need help are often looked down on, despite Jesus’ comment that the poor we will always have with us. Our society is organized towards personal self-sufficiency. Most of us rent or own our own property, living detached from other households. We work jobs to support ourselves and our households. We own vehicles to drive ourselves where we want to go. We build up savings and portfolios to ensure that we will remain independent after retirement. These things are constructed so that we do not need to rely on the hospitality of another.

All these things are not bad or wrong. But something is amiss when we implicitly believe that all people should be able to do life this way: on their own, without burdening anyone else. Somewhere deep in our heart of hearts, we suspect such people to be weak, lazy, lesser, or at fault for it. “They did it to themselves,” we think: “they deserve what they get.” One should be able to do life on one’s own, without the support or intervention of others. To do less than this is to fail at life somehow.

Such attitudes are dangerous. We translate Jesus words, “It is more blessed to give than to receive” into, “stand on your own two feet and give to the needy who can’t.”

Here is the problem: if we can do it all ourselves—what need do we have of a saviour? Many have come to the very logical conclusion that we don’t. “We’ve managed this life just fine on our own, thank you.  We don’t need help from anyone else—including God.”

Feelings of guilt and shame when we have need or when we receive something work against our receiving the one and only thing we need but can’t get on our own: God’s grace in Jesus.

Our relatively wealthy, peaceful, and independent society actively works against the logic of the faith. Contentment in Christ includes the willingness and the ability to receive with gratitude and thanksgiving—recognizing, once again, that our lives are not our own creation and that we are not the ones who hold on. It is Christ who holds on to us. Christ who provides for us.

Receiving gracefully is a necessary spiritual discipline to counteract impulse towards self-sufficiency of our culture.

As you journey on, go with the blessing of God:

May the peace of the Lord Christ go with you: wherever he may send you. May he guide you through the wilderness: protect you through the storm. May he bring you home rejoicing; at the wonders he has shown you. May he bring you home rejoicing once again into our doors.