I lost her then i lost me. A raw conversation about grief, loss, and the fear of becoming someone new

What if the hardest part of being real… is letting people see it?

We almost didn’t record this. The voice in my head said: Don’t show too much. Don’t be too much.

But I’m tired of that voice.
Tired of searching for safety instead of being it.

If you haven't yet joined my inner circle of friends, my life-letter readers, please do. You will be the first person I share everything with. I'd love to have you. Go here to join us.

Brian and I recorded this audio-only episode while we were out at a café in Naoussa, Paros.

There’s a lot of background noise, people chatting, drills drilling, cars revving—but we left it all in because it felt real.
And that’s what this episode is: real.

The sound quality is a bit shit. Apologies. If you like it, and we keep this format, it will improve.

I’m not quite sure what's going on at the moment.

Life feels messy. Confusing. I feel as if something has cracked open in me. Maybe it’s grief. Maybe it’s the start of a new season. Maybe both. I don't know.

And that's what this episode is: Not knowing. Me, trying to untangle something I can’t fully name yet, and Brian offering his ever-wise and patient thoughts.
This episode is about grief—what it looks like when you’re in it: the confusion, the uncertainty, the messiness, the ache of something ending, or beginning, or both.

It’s also about shame.
About the fear of being seen—really seen.
About how hard it can be to hit publish when you're sharing something vulnerable.
About how I listened back to a recent episode and cringed—not because I wasn’t being real, but because I was.

 

This is us, a husband and wife, in the middle of the mess, figuring it out as we go.
If you’re in that place too, I hope this episode feels like a warm hand on your back.

Thank you for giving us your time and for offering us this space to figure things out. Please reach out by email. I answer every single message. 

email: [email protected]

 

My heart beats with yours.

Kia Kaha.

Liz and Brian x

PS: If you haven't yet joined my inner circle of friends, my life-letter readers, please do. You will be the first person I share everything with. I'd love to have you. Go here to join us.

 

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