Episode 156 = Practicing Non-attachment with Family
Buddhism for Everyone with JoAnn Fox
Release Date: 12/13/2022
Buddhism for Everyone with JoAnn Fox
“Praise and blame, fame and shame, gain and loss, pleasure and pain come and go like the wind. To be happy, rest like a giant tree in the midst of them all.” ― Buddha We're exploring a truth so simple yet profound it almost feels like a secret; every problem we have comes from just one thing, our own mind. Specifically, our problems come from misperceiving reality: we see our worries, fears, and stresses as big, immovable mountains. In reality, they're more like clouds, shifting and changing with the winds of the mind. Nothing is as fixed as it seems. Everything depends on perception...
info_outlineBuddhism for Everyone with JoAnn Fox
We're exploring a truth so simple yet profound it almost feels like a secret; every problem we have comes from just one thing--our own mind. Specifically, our problems come from misperceiving reality: we see our worries, fears, and stresses as big, immovable mountains. In reality, they're more like clouds, shifting and changing with the winds of the mind. Nothing is as fixed as it seems. Everything depends on perception (even that thing you're stressing about right now). Could we change our perception and enjoy whatever arises? Buddhist Teacher, JoAnn Fox, offers two ways to practice...
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In this episode, we practice one of the most powerful antidotes to anger and aversion: compassion. I know—when we’re irritated, hurt, or downright fuming, compassion is usually the last thing on our minds. But in Buddhism, compassion isn't weakness—it’s strength. It’s the most powerful way to interrupt the cycle of harm and start creating peace, inside and out. The Story of Aṅgulimāla The Buddha’s radical teachings on non-violence reveal how to respond rather than react when things get heated. I also share the story of Angulimala—yes, the guy who was literally collecting...
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Who—or what—are you, really? If you start peeling back the layers, things get interesting fast. You have a body, but you’re not just your body. You have thoughts, but if you were your thoughts, wouldn’t you have disappeared the last time your mind went blank? And if you were your emotions, who were you before that bad mood showed up? Buddhism teaches that the self we cling to so tightly—this solid, unchanging “me”—is actually empty of independent existence. That doesn’t mean you don’t exist; it means you exist in a far more fluid, interconnected, and expansive way than you...
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The Buddha taught that dukkha—suffering and dissatisfaction—doesn't come from the outside world. Our problems don't arise from difficult people or hardships. Our problems come from within our own mind, from the way we react to life. The same is true for happiness. We spend so much of our lives trying to control the world around us—fixing this, avoiding that, chasing after happiness like it's some rare butterfly. But what if we've been looking in the wrong place? What if the source of both our problems and our joy has been inside us all along? in this episode, we explore how...
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Attachment has a sneaky way of making us hold on too tightly—to things, to people, to our own comfort zones. We cling, we grasp, we hesitate to let go, fearing we might lose something essential. But what if the very act of giving could set us free? In this episode, we explore the transformative practice of giving as an antidote to attachment. Discover how generosity can help you break free from the things that hold you back. Buddhism teaches that generosity is not just a nice thing to do; it is a powerful practice of liberation. From the bodhisattva’s perfection of giving to the four...
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Giving, or dāna, is one of the most fundamental and beautiful practices in Buddhism. In this episode, we explore how giving is not just an act of generosity—it is a path to freedom, a way to dissolve the tight grip of self-centeredness and open our hearts to others. The Buddha taught that giving benefits both the giver and the receiver, creating the karmic cause for an abundance of whatever we give, be it materially, love, Dharma, or fearlessness. Giving also reduces attachment, and deepens our sense of interconnectedness. Four Ways to Practice Giving: - Materially - Dharma - Fearlessness -...
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Attachment is like a rope that binds us—tying our happiness to people, possessions, and circumstances. In Buddhism, attachment isn’t just about clinging to things we love; it’s the grasping, craving, and fear of loss that keep us trapped in cycles of dissatisfaction. The tighter we hold on, the more suffering we create. But don’t worry—there are antidotes to this challenging habit of attachment! In this episode, we’ll uncover practical tools from the Buddhist path to help us shift from attachment to true freedom. How can we love without clinging? Enjoy without suffering?...
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In the rush of daily life, our minds often feel like restless seas—waves of thoughts crashing, emotions rising and falling. But beneath the surface, there is a deep, still place. Tranquility meditation, or shamatha, is the practice of sinking into that stillness, calming the waters of the mind so that clarity and peace can naturally arise. In this episode, JoAnn Fox guides a tranquility meditation and explores the power of this practice. At its heart, tranquility meditation is about resting in focused awareness. We choose an object like the breath—and gently anchor our attention...
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The spiritual path begins with a mind conditioned by anger, attachment, and ignorance—and a stirring wish for change. The culmination of the path is a mind liberated—compassionate, boundless, and freed by wisdom. What comes between is unyielding, joyful effort. Buddha himself and his disciples are the living proof that the task is not beyond our reach. They show us that anyone who follows the path can accomplish the same goals. But what is needed is effort. The three obstacles to spiritual effort Procrastination Attachment to what is meaningless or non-virtuous ...
info_outlineWe must work on our minds to overcome the habits of attachment--which always bring suffering--whether one is a monk or a family man. The context of a monastery versus a home with young children will make the practice different in some ways, but in other ways achieving levels of nonattachment remains the same!
Loving our family is not in contradiction to the practice of non-attachment. Attachment is self-focused: we are attached to what we think will make us happy. Love, the opposite of attachment, is focused on what will make our friend or loved one happy. In fact, improving our practice of non-attachment is what will make our love more unconditional and stable.
We might practice non-attachment with a family member by examining what we are very attached to in our relationship with them. The things we are most attached to can be identified by looking at what causes the most discord. How sad this is. We may discover that our attachment to them being different than the way causes the most suffering. Or we are very attached to our children or partner being what we consider successful. We can then practice mindfulness with the intention to let go of attachment to that particular thing and to accept them just the way they are. That person might not know you’re practicing non-attachment, but they will like it! This non-attachment will make our relationship with them much happier-- and we’ll be more at peace too.
The Story of an Ex-Bhikkhu
“While residing at the Veluvana monastery, the Buddha uttered Verse (344) of this book, with reference to a bhikkhu who was a pupil of the Venerable Mahakassapa.
As a pupil of the Venerable Mahakassapa, this bhikkhu had achieved the four mental absorptions (jhanas). But one day, as he went for alms-food to his uncle's house, he saw a woman and felt a great desire to have her. Then he left the Order of the bhikkhus. As a layman, he was a failure as he did not work hard. So, his uncle drove him out of the house, and subsequently he became mixed up with some thieves. All of them were caught by the authorities and were taken to the cemetery to be executed. The Venerable Mahakassapa saw his pupil as he was being led out and said to him, "My pupil, keep your mind steadfastly on a subject of meditation." As instructed, he concentrated and let himself be established in deep mental absorption. At the cemetery, while the executioners were making preparations to kill him, the ex-bhikkhu was very much composed and showed no signs of fear or anxiety. The executioners and the onlookers were awe-struck and very much impressed by the man's courage and composure and they reported about him to the king and also to the Buddha. The king gave orders to release the man. The Buddha on hearing about the matter sent his radiance and appeared to the thief as if in person.
Then the Buddha spoke to him in verse as follows:
[Though] clear of the underbrush
And out of the forest,
Someone attached to the forest
Runs right back to it.
Come, see that free person
Run back into bondage. (344)*
--Buddha, Dhammapada
References with Links
Buddha (1986).The Dhammapada: Verses and Stories. Translated by Daw Mya Tin, M.A. (Website). Edited by Editorial Committee, Burma Tipitaka Association Rangoon. Courtesy of Nibbana.com. For free distribution only, as a gift of dhamma.
https://www.tipitaka.net/tipitaka/dhp/verseload.php?verse=344
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