The Curse of Religious Perfectionism
Growth Marriage
Scrupulosity, or religious perfectionism/OCD, can be debilitating for both individuals and couples. The belief that unless you do everything right, keep all the rules, are perfectly obedient, and live according to God's will... something terrible will happen. This episode with perfectionism expert, Dr. Menije explores how our anxiety leaks out into our spiritual life. She provides some great examples of what scrupulosity can look like, and what we can do about it.
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What Is Differentiation? | Anxiety Series #2
Growth Marriage
In order to master your anxiety, you must become differentiated. Differentiation is the ability to separate your thoughts from your feelings, and to separate your own thoughts and feelings from the thoughts and feelings of others. This is a practice you will be working on for the rest of your life. Today's episode will introduce you to the first part of differentiation, and give you some first steps to start calming yourself down.
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Friendship In The Age of Loneliness with Adam "Smiley" Poswolsky
Growth Marriage
Friendship is the foundation of your marriage. If you can't be a good friend to people outside your marriage, it's unlikely you'll be a good friend to your partner. Also, friendships outside your marriage are CRUCIAL for the survival of your relationship. Your community is your bedrock. In today's episode, I talk to the author of the new book, "," Adam Smiley Powsolwky. We talk about why friendship is important, and give a bunch of ideas of how to cultivate more meaningful friendships.
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Your Internal Smoke Alarm | Anxiety Series #1
Growth Marriage
Anxiety is basically negative emotions that your brain manufactures to help keep you safe from potential threats... kind of like a smoke alarm. But just like a smoke alarm, there's no special mechanism to help it detect the severity of the threat. Bacon burning on the stove gets the same treatment as a house fire. This is a problem because at some point in your marriage, your partner is going to hurt you, disappoint you, or let you down. That means your brain will detect them as a threat, which will drive a wedge between you. In order to keep the connection alive, we need to learn to...
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The Go-Giver Marriage
Growth Marriage
Some people have relationships that just look so easy, so smooth, and so natural. How do they do it? Are they just lucky? Or are they doing something that everyone else is missing? In this episode, I sit down with John and Ana Mann, authors of the book "The Go-Giver Marriage." This interview (and their book) uncomplicates love and marriage in a really beautiful way. I hope you give it a listen, and check out their new book at: HTTP://gogivermarriage.com
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What Should You Do If You're Caught In An Affair?
Growth Marriage
Affairs are more common than you'd think. Roughly 50% of marriages are faced with some sort of infidelity at some point during their relationship. So... what do you do if you're caught up in an affair? What do you say if you've fallen hard for someone that's not your partner? How do you respond if your spouse just told you they've been cheating? How can you recover? That's what we're going to talk about in this episode with Kimberly Holmes from Marriage Helper.
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Why You Shouldn't "Become One" With Your Parnter
Growth Marriage
Were you ever told that "Becoming One" was the ultimate goal in marriage? Or if you put your partner's needs before your own (and if they do the same) your relationship would flourish? Every day I see people who buy into these nice-sounding mindsets, only to watch their marriage slowly crumble. If you are: A fixer... Or you avoid negative emotions because you think they're bad... Or you find yourself turning to things like porn, video games, social media, or workaholism... Or you really struggle to ask for what you want... Or you're subtly dishonest and manipulative... You should check out...
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Why Is Being A "Nice Guy" Bad?
Growth Marriage
Dr. Robert Glover says,"Nice Guy Syndrome represents a belief that if Nice Guys are 'good,' they will be loved, get their needs met, and live a problem-free life. When this life strategy fails to produce the desired results — as it often does — Nice Guys usually just try harder, doing more of the same. Due to the sense of helplessness and resentment this pattern inevitably produces, Nice Guys are often anything but nice." Today, I sit down with 2 other recovering Nice Guys and talk about the toll Nice Guy Syndrome had on our relationships and some of the things we've done to try to get...
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5 Tips to Change Your Partner
Growth Marriage
Is your partner checked out, no longer invested, withdrawn, or distant? Do you want to know what you can do to change them? To re-engage them? To get them invested in the marriage again? In this episode, I'll show you how the concepts of animal training can be utilized to help you take responsibility for your actions, words, and thoughts to influence change – and even transformation in your partner. The results often take time, but the proof is in the pudding: If you're truly committed, you can change your partner, and change your marriage... simply by changing yourself. 🙋♂️ If you...
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The Cost of Perfectionism with Dr. Menije [FULL EPISODE]
Growth Marriage
This is the full, unedited version of my interview with Dr. Menije, the Queen of Perfectionism.
info_outline“It’s the little things done often that make the difference.”
This is my favorite quote from the world’s most notable marriage researcher, Dr. John Gottman.
It’s easy to dismiss the quote as a great soundbite and miss all the wisdom that’s packed into it. So I want to spend a minute and tell you how this quote can change your life.
Most people want to live a happy and fulfilling life.
And the key to a happy life is great relationships. Research has shown again and again that the factor most directly correlated with the quality of your life is the quality of your relationships.
And the relationship that has the biggest impact on your life is... you guessed it, your marriage!
When your marriage sucks - when you’re constantly feeling lonely, disconnected, frustrated, stressed, overwhelmed, angry, disappointed, unappreciated, neglected, or attacked - it negatively impacts EVERY other aspect of your life.
On average….
- You are significantly more likely to struggle with depression and anxiety.
- You’re more likely to get sick more often
- Your body will heal more slowly from infections, injuries, and diseases
- You’ll have fewer friends
- You’ll struggle with productivity at work
- You’ll have less sex
- You’ll make less money
- You’ll live a shorter life
So, having a great marriage is REALLY important at the very least if you don’t want to be miserable.
What most people get hung up