Broken Hearts and Compassionate Persistence with Jeanne Foot

What if we don't know what to do with broken hearts the way we know what to do with broken bones?

In this episode, Jeanne Foot shares how she helps individuals and families navigate mental health, addiction, and trauma recovery through The Recovery Concierge. Jeanne is the founder of this boutique mental health, addiction, and trauma navigation agency that provides innovative concierge services tailored to unique needs of individuals, families, and the entertainment industry. With a focus on mental health and addiction recovery, her team's holistic approach encompasses assessments, counseling, and continuous support, ensuring a comprehensive pathway to sustainable recovery. Her journey into this work wasn't by choice - it chose her. Growing up in 1960s London with childhood trauma, sexual abuse, and the death of her baby sister, Jeanne fell into substances at a young age as her only tool for emotional regulation. After getting sober and spending seven years frozen in emotional pain, she had an epiphany: no one's coming to save you. She dove into everything from peak performance to trauma healing, creating the proprietary method she uses today with clients.

Jeanne reveals two relationships that transformed her: her father, who mentored her in the family insurance business in her early twenties when she didn't want to go to university, teaching her that sales is about guiding people through a process (not coercing them), that you win on price but lose on price, and instilling values of ethics, integrity, kindness, vulnerability, and transparency that shape everything she stands for today and carry through to their third-generation family business; and Dr. Anthony Levitt, Chief of Brain Sciences at Sunnybrook Hospital in Toronto with over 10,000 employees, a brilliant psychiatrist who gave agency to people who weren't clinically trained, wanting to learn from lived experience rather than taking a top-down approach, asking Jeanne to chair a grassroots pilot program in 2012 that has now served thousands of families and become a leader in the industry both nationally and internationally, and who admitted "we're failing people, we need to do better" when others would hide that they don't know what to do.

 

[00:04:20] Founder of The Recovery Concierge

• Boutique mental health, addiction, and trauma navigation agency

• Matches people to right services and bespoke treatment plans

• Uses invitational, compassionate, non-stigmatizing approach to intervention

• Been doing this work 30 years informally, 15 years professionally

[00:05:40] Growing Up in 1960s London

• "Children should be seen and not heard" environment in middle class family

• Baby sister died when Jeanne was four years old

• Stepbrother sexually abused her, grew up with tremendous trauma

• Fell into substances at very young age as only coping mechanism

[00:06:40] The Critical Juncture: Seven Years Sober

• Seven years into sobriety, thought "if this is all my life's gonna be, I don't want any part"

• Frozen in her body, life picture perfect on outside but empty inside

• In so much emotional pain despite having everything externally

[00:07:20] The Epiphany: No One's Coming to Save You

• Had an epiphany: "There's no one who's coming to save you. You better figure this out yourself"

• Dove into everything: peak performance, emotional healing, trauma, addiction, mental health

• Created proprietary method mixing optimal tools that became foundation for her work

[00:08:20] Her Children: The Catalyst for Change

• Children became more important to her than herself

• Wanted to do things differently than her family had done

• Made sacrifices in her early thirties (early 1990s) to choose them

[00:09:40] The Volunteer Visit That Changed Everything

• Looking for place to volunteer, wanted to be of service and reduce suffering

• Someone pointed her to Sunnybrook Hospital in Toronto

• Had no idea what she was doing, just felt she wanted to help

[00:10:00] The Town Hall Meeting with Dr. Anthony Levitt

• Met Dr. Anthony Levitt, Chief of Brain Sciences at Sunnybrook Hospital (10,000+ employees)

• He was examining why parents were taking children to US for mental health treatment

• Parents shared their stories, Dr. Levitt said: "We're gonna do something about this right now"

[00:10:40] Building the Plane While Flying It

• Dr. Levitt asked Jeanne to chair the pilot program

• Lived experience informed program with clinical expertise

• Did everything: secured philanthropy funding, hired people, visited every stakeholder, defined metrics

[00:11:20] He Gave Us Agency

• Dr. Levitt gave them agency despite being brilliant psychiatrist

• Felt he could learn from people who had been in trenches and failed by system

• Jeanne worked across from him 30 hours a week for free because so in love with the work

[00:13:00] We Don't Know What to Do with Broken Hearts

• Know what to do with broken hearts (cardiology) or broken bones

• Don't know what to do with broken hearts (emotional)—very nuanced, non-prescriptive process

• Need to meet client where they're at, not use top-down approach

[00:14:20] Rapport Is Number One Indicator of Success

• Rapport is #1 indicator of success, not therapeutic expertise

• If you don't have rapport with someone, you can't go anywhere

• Client from 40 years ago still calling because of implicit trust: "I've got my people"

[00:16:00] Learning from Her Father

• First person who changed her life was her father

• His ethics, sense of humor, values shaped who she became

• Father was fantastic mentor when she joined family insurance business in 1980s

[00:17:00] Sales Is About Guiding People in a Process

• Father taught her sales is about guiding people, not coercing them

• Showing them a process: either they want it or they don't

• He taught her about ethics—have to have benchmark of morality in business

[00:19:20] Third Generation of Client Relationships

• Into third generation with client acquisitions in insurance business

• Values come from within structure of family and organization

• Clients saying: "We've been dealing with these people for long time, continue that"

• Father's lesson: "You win on price, you lose on price"

[00:22:40] Dr. Anthony Levitt: Beautiful Humility

• Gave agency to people who weren't clinically trained, wanted to learn from them

• Admitted "we're failing people, we need to do better" instead of defending system

• Such beautiful humility about him wanting to learn

[00:23:40] Grassroots Organization Still Going Strong Since 2012

• Built organization that's served thousands of families

• Has funding, clinical research, evidence-based outcomes

• Leaders not just nationally but internationally with this model of care

• Dr. Levitt's philosophy: "The government leads by following"

[00:25:20] Lives Saved Through Being There

• Been in situations where had she not been there in right moment, person wouldn't be here today

• Meets people in their darkest moments, sometimes requires heavy lifting

• Testimonials from family members: "You literally saved my daughter's life"

[00:26:20] Compassionate Persistence

• Everyone does it in their own timeline, have to respect that

• Not top-down authoritarian approach—some people need more time

• "Compassionate persistence": stay with them until they get what they need

[00:28:20] Triggers Are Learning Opportunities

• Closer relationships trigger us most, but triggers can be good thing

• Learning opportunities to do better, show up differently

• People we love most can be most challenging, but they're opportunities for beautiful learning

[00:28:40] 100% Personal Responsibility

• Have to take 100% responsibility, each of us—no 50/50

• When we take personal responsibility, we put control in our hands

• We build walls to protect our hearts, but can't let anything good in either

• Being seen, validated, heard for what we need is important part of healing

 

KEY QUOTES

"We know what to do with broken hearts in cardiology, but we don't know what to do with broken hearts." - Jeanne Foot

"Rapport is the number one indicator of success. People think it's therapeutic expertise—it's not. If you don't have rapport with someone, you can't go anywhere." - Jeanne Foot

"Triggers can be a good thing. They can be learning opportunities for us to do better, to show up differently. We all have blind spots, and the people we love the most sometimes can be the most challenging in our relationships." - Jeanne Foot

CONNECT WITH JEANNE FOOT 

🌐 Website: https://www.therecoveryconcierge.com 

💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jeanne-foot-the-recovery-concierge 

📱 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jeanne.foot

 

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