The Psychology of Coaching: Working with Global Leaders Under Intense Pressure with Rachel Ellison
The Mind, Body and Soul in Healing
Release Date: 12/03/2021
The Mind, Body and Soul in Healing
"We trained pregnant and never pregnant women and we tested them on their memory for these items immediately after they learned them and then we tested them two weeks later, looking at their long term autobiographical memory. What we found was that for the immediate test, the pregnant women did better than the never pregnant women on the baby relevant items, but they had equal performance on the adult oriented items. That gives some support to our hypothesis that when you actually test for benefits in cognition for ecologically relevant items you see them in pregnancy. But very surprisingly to...
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"The universality of guilt - I think that my life as a child therapist has a lot of advantages; we carry the idea that ‘we are all the ages we've ever been’ and those magic years never disappear. There are some great things about that - there are some problems with it too. That kind of irrational self-centered construction to explain what is intolerable and difficult to grasp comes from that. Early in this whole process, I remember talking to the pediatrician taking care of us: ‘Was it something in the environment? Was it the street we lived on? Was it that we lived in the basement?...
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"Because I couldn't help my son, I couldn't do anything for him, I thought maybe I could start this group and help other people and other parents deal with this problem. What I wasn't prepared to face was just how lonely, how alone, how sad, and feeling hopeless I was. In a way, when the group began, I needed the group as much as the group needed me. I've continued the group although I need it for different reasons - at that point I needed it because I felt overwhelmed because of the problem with my son. Now I need it because I’ve grown to love the people of the group and I feel a...
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"If you randomly assign people in two groups and you give them different insignia or you have them go through different practices, as we saw in this study, they come to like each other more. It's very easy to create this basic sense of belonging and identity. Ritual is particularly good at eliciting that kind of sense also because it triggers our intuitions about what we call phenotypic matching, this is the idea that we have ways, psychological mechanisms, that allow us to recognize those that are members of our groups, especially kin, so if you think about it who are your kin, they're the...
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"One of the things that is very exciting is that this is a very robust finding. In other words, sometimes in science people see something and then it's not replicated - Rapamycin’s impact on lifespan has been replicated. When I started researching this area 50 years ago, I never felt that we would find a pill that would have an impact on aging and lifespan. Aging is very complex - to find one thing that would have an impact was highly unlikely. So when this happened in 2009, I had a small part in this, it was really very exciting because for the first time we had something that could...
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"One way a child of Jody’s age deals with loss is that you don’t miss the person, in a sense you can become them. So, I have her step into the mother role, immediately trying to look after the younger ones and then wearing her mother sunglasses - it’s like she becomes her and then you don’t miss her so much. The neighbor is like an analyst figure, and she goes over and talks to this woman, Juliette, a very kind woman. I had Juliette say to her: ‘The way I see it, a death doesn’t happen just once, it’s like we have to keep being reminded that someone is gone - remember her - miss...
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"The best way to think about insulin resistance is that it’s pre-diabetes. In the course of developing type 2 diabetes, which we see in much higher rates in people with bipolar disorder compared to the general population, one starts off with normal blood sugar levels but elevated insulin. It is the elevated insulin that pushes the blood sugar down into the normal range. This is typically something that is missed by physicians because there’s been no medical indication to test for it [insulin level]. After the metabolic dysregulation progresses, patients become glucose intolerant, and at...
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"When paternity leave comes into the picture you have a situation where parents are home together. Those processes are able to develop for both the mother and the father - there’s time for fathers to bond with their children, there’s time for parents to figure out how to be parents together. It’s not so lopsided where mothers become the experts because they are there all the time. Mothers and fathers can develop that expertise together because they are both there at home at the same time. At this sort of crucial point where you figure everything out for the first time, I think it...
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"There is a company called NightWare, that developed a feature for PTSD that uses components from Apple Watch. One of the primary symptoms in PTSD is intense nightmares which are very distressing, they disrupt their sleep and really drive a lot of symptomatology. This company created an app that detects when people with PTSD are having nightmares. It uses the existing sleep function [on the watch] to detect when they are having disruptive sleep. Then it uses the vibrating haptic to wake the patient up. So it is simply just disrupting their sleep, waking them up from a nightmare, and by...
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"I would say to any parent who has a child now or any adult who has a disability now - disabilities are looked at quite differently. They are accepted much more than they were when I was growing up. So, you can’t take things out of context, but I was just living a secret life and that wasn’t good, it really wasn’t. That was why I was remote, so what I would do is dissociate when I felt the pain of being so different and I really paid a price for that. I am not sure there was any way to get through it, I was a successful child by other standards, but emotionally I was very...
info_outline"Coaching is asking. It’s even better when you don’t know how to do that person’s job because they work in a different industry to you. All you can do is ask and that is pure coaching. It’s an 80-20 ratio of speaking to listening - 80 percent of the time your job is to listen and to ask but not know the answer. Often the client thinks you do know the answer but actually you really don’t and that makes the coaching pure coaching. It resists becoming mentoring, or telling, or advising. It sits next to psychotherapy - I am very much informed by psychotherapy, particularly the psychoanalytic stance in psychotherapy. I’m informed by it and borrow from its best ethics of good practice."
Episode Description: Rachel describes the similarities and differences between coaching and psychotherapy on the one hand and mentoring on the other. She emphasizes the fundamental importance of listening - her 80-20 rule. We discuss examples from her book on her coaching a leader of aid workers in Somalia, a coach of diversely disabled athletes at the 2016 Paralympic Games, and a woman from Pakistan who had to deal with conflicting feelings and realities when faced with an influx of Afghan refugees. In all examples, we hear of Rachel's capacity for nuance, ambiguity, and dedication to each individual's life story. We close with her recounting her own personal journey.
Our Guest: Rachel Ellison is a former BBC news reporter. She was awarded an MBE – Member of the Order of the British Empire – by Queen Elizabeth II / or by the Queen for her work on human rights and women's self-empowerment in Afghanistan. Her team was awarded BBC Team of the Year, in recognition of her coaching style of leadership with her all Afghan, all-female collective of journalists.
At the BBC, Rachel volunteered to train as an executive leadership coach and then went on to set up her own consultancy. She has led and coached across more than 40 different cultures, tribes, nations, and organizational systems around the world, including post-conflict zones and emerging economies such as Myanmar/Burma, Iraq & Syria, Kenya, and the former Soviet Union. Rachel coaches from a psychoanalytic stance – believing this approach to be intense, creative and generating of deep insight for individuals and organizations.
Rachel has been a guest lecturer at Birkbeck University London, at Oxford and Cambridge universities in the UK, and to speak at international conferences throughout Europe. Her book: Global Leadership & Coaching – flourishing under intense pressure at work was published by Routledge in 2019.
Recommended Readings:
Menzies Lyth, I. (1960). Social Systems as a Defense Against Anxiety: An empirical study of the nursing service of a general hospital. Human Relations, 13:95-121
Kline, N. (1999) Time to Think. UK. Octopus Publishing Group
Obholzer, A. & Zagier Roberts, V. The unconscious at work: Individual and organizational stress in the human services. Routledge.
Kahn, S. (2017). Death & the City: Loss, Mourning, and Melancholia at Work. Karnac. London.
Salberger-Wittenberg, I. (2013). Experiencing Endings and Beginnings. Karnac. London.
Cook, P. (2006). Sex, Leadership and Rock 'n' Roll: Leadership lessons from the Academy of Rock. UK: Crown House Publishing