Mother's Quest Podcast
As I bring you this episode, we are less than two weeks from the 2024 U.S. Election. In preparation for this moment, I seized the opportunity to sit down with Melissa Walker, a children's book author turned powerful political advocate, instrumental in the founding of an organization called The States Project. Melissa’s path to The States Project was paved in the election results of 2016 which, like it did for so many of us, became a catalyst for activism. Looking for a way to get more intimately involved in our democratic process, her journey took a powerful turn when she attended a...
info_outline Ep 105: The Evolution of Parenting Teens and Beyond with Parent Coach Casey O’RoartyMother's Quest Podcast
I’m excited to share this conversation with my longtime fellow podcasting friend and parenting guide, Casey O’Roarty. Casey is a positive discipline trainer, certified coach and facilitator of personal growth and development, who encourages parents to discover the purpose of our journey. Through workshops, live and online classes, individual coaching, a published book, and her Joyful Courage Podcast, Casey helps us reconnect to our own empowerment and excitement in parenting, providing us with tools and a shift of mindset that allows us to deepen relationships with ourselves and our...
info_outline Ep 104: Calm, Compassion, Clarity: Election 2024Mother's Quest Podcast
I’m excited to share with you this special episode featuring bite-sized messages from past podcast guests with practices to help us stay grounded, find calm, and regulate our nervous systems in these final days leading up to the 2024 U.S. election! The inspiration for it… A few weeks ago, amid some election anxiety and inspired by my friend Katie Hanus, I committed to just 10 minutes of meditation. Lying on my back, I looked up at the wind moving through a beautiful redwood tree in my backyard. As I watched, I listened to the sound of a nearby wind chime. My breath began to slow, my...
info_outline Ep 103: Knowing Our History: Civil Rights Insights for Today’s World with Sojourn Project's Jeff SteinbergMother's Quest Podcast
I’m honored to share this special Father’s Day edition of the Mother’s Quest Podcast. This episode features my friend Jeff Steinberg, whose commitment to the lessons of the civil rights movement can shine a light for us now, during another pivotal time in our nation’s history. Jeff and I first crossed paths when our sons, Ryan and Journey, now 20 years old, became inseparable friends in preschool. While waiting to pick up our kids, I instantly connected with Jeff as I learned about the transformative work he was doing as Executive Director of Sojourn to the Past, also known as...
info_outline Ep 102: Milestone Hike Revisited: A Mother Son Neurodiversity JourneyMother's Quest Podcast
Welcome to this first episode of Season Nine of the Mother’s Quest Podcast with a returning and special guest, my own son Ryan Neale. I first sat down to record an episode with Ryan in 2017, on his 13th birthday, after we embarked on a milestone hike, using the ascent and descent at our local Sugarloaf Peak to pack up the lessons of his first 13 years of life and my first 13 years of motherhood. At that time, Ryan knew he wanted to close out his teenage years the same way he began them. So this past March, in what felt like the blink of an eye, his 20th birthday approached and Ryan...
info_outline Ep 101: Stoking our Soul Fire for a Revolution from Home with Beth BerryMother's Quest Podcast
Welcome to this last conversation of 2023, with coach, teacher, small group and retreat facilitator at Revolution from Home, mother of four daughters and author of the book , Beth Berry. Beth says she has revolution in her bones. It began when she was seventeen and pumping milk in the bathroom of her high school for her now-grown eldest daughter. It has since gradually evolved into a tender, fiery conviction to reclaim motherhood from every disempowering personal and cultural story she can wrap her head and heart around. Beth has spent thousands of hours mentoring and supporting mothers...
info_outline Ep 100: Mothering as Revolutionary LoveMother's Quest Podcast
This September 11, 2023, I had the honor of holding space for an intimate conversation with civil rights leader, lawyer, award-winning filmmaker, educator, and best-selling author of the book The fact that we were recording on September 11th was meaningful, because the tragic event that had taken place 22 years ago shaped Valarie in profound ways and set her on a path that she never expected. Valarie became an activist after a man of the same Sikh faith, a father and family friend she called uncle, Balbir Singh Sodhi, was the first person murdered in hate violence in the aftermath of 9/11. ...
info_outline Dear Body Revisited: And Then I Got ShinglesMother's Quest Podcast
This month, I was planning to record a special solocast to welcome in our 100th episode of the podcast. Instead, three days before my son Jacob’s scheduled knee surgery on July 11th, I got diagnosed with shingles. I’m recovering well and so is Jacob thankfully. But it really caused me to revisit my relationship with my body. There was a need for forgiveness all the way around, a rebuilding of trust and a recommitment to myself. In case you’re not familiar, shingles is the re-emergence of the chicken pox virus, which if you’ve ever had chicken pox lives dormant in your nerves and tends...
info_outline Ep 99: Building and Thinking Outside the Box with David NealeMother's Quest Podcast
I’m honored to share this special Father’s Day Episode featuring my very own father-in-law, David Neale. I started dating my husband Chris when I was only 19, so I realize David has been a source of inspiration and guidance in my life for over 30 years. How lucky I am to have had his example of leadership, impact, and joy for life to light my way for my entire adulthood! The inspiration for this episode was sparked several months ago at a big milestone birthday celebration David organized to honor his 80th year. That celebration was also the launch of a new fund he initiated...
info_outline Ep 98: Sometimes Change Sucks "Reflections at the 5 year Anniversary of the Manifesto Challenge” With Graeme SeabrookMother's Quest Podcast
In 2018, I sat down for a special Mother's Day episode with Graeme Seabrook, a life coach and maternal health advocate, affectionately known by the thousands of mothers she supported as the "Mom for Moms." We hit it off immediately, delving deep into her Motherhood Bill of Rights and my E.P.I.C. life framework, and noticing that both had become manifestos for how we wanted to live our lives while raising our children. During that episode, we co-created what we called a Manifesto Challenge, inviting other mothers to create their own. And afterward, we would reconnect in some way each May,...
info_outlineThis September 11, 2023, I had the honor of holding space for an intimate conversation with civil rights leader, lawyer, award-winning filmmaker, educator, and best-selling author of the book SEE NO STRANGER, Valarie Kaur.
The fact that we were recording on September 11th was meaningful, because the tragic event that had taken place 22 years ago shaped Valarie in profound ways and set her on a path that she never expected. Valarie became an activist after a man of the same Sikh faith, a father and family friend she called uncle, Balbir Singh Sodhi, was the first person murdered in hate violence in the aftermath of 9/11.
For two decades in his memory, Valarie led visionary campaigns to tell untold stories and change policy on issues ranging from hate crimes to solitary confinement to digital freedom. Along the way, she earned degrees at Stanford University, Harvard Divinity School, and Yale Law School.
Today, Valarie is the mother of two children and as you’ll hear her share, the experience of becoming a mother inspired her to birth the Revolutionary Love Project, which supports communities with practical tools to transform the nation from inside out.
Revolutionary love, Valarie says, “is the choice to labor for others, for opponents, and for ourselves. Love is sweet labor — fierce, bloody, imperfect, life-giving, a choice we make. And it begins with wonder. You can look at anyone and say: You are a part of me I don’t yet know. From there, we begin to transform the world around us, and inside us.”
There is a lightness and hopefulness in the tone of our conversation that we wouldn't have in the same way if we recorded the conversation today. I'm grateful for it. Valarie thanked me at the end for giving her the deepest breath she had in a long time. During a time in our country and world, where so many seem to be disconnected from a sense of our common humanity and divisions between us are widening, I hope this conversation is a deep breath for you.
Because as Valarie says as she evokes the metaphor of a midwife in her famous Watch Night speech, linked in the show notes, we must first breathe and then we push. The mother asks "what if this darkness we face is not the darkness of the tomb, but the darkness of the womb?" Today we breathe and tomorrow we will labor in revolutionary love.
About Valarie Kaur:
VALARIE KAUR is a renowned civil rights leader, lawyer, award-winning filmmaker, educator, innovator, author of the #1 LA Times Bestseller SEE NO STRANGER, and founder of the Revolutionary Love Project. Valarie burst into global consciousness when her 2016 Watch Night Service address went viral with 40 million views worldwide. Her question “Is this the darkness of the tomb – or the darkness of the womb?” reframes the historical moment and is now a mantra for people fighting for change.
Valarie became an activist when a Sikh father and family friend Balbir Singh Sodhi was the first person murdered in hate violence in the aftermath of 9/11. For two decades, in his memory, Valarie led visionary campaigns to tell untold stories and change policy on issues ranging from hate crimes to digital freedom. Her work ignited a national movement to reclaim love as a force for justice. In 2021, she led the People’s Inauguration, inspiring millions of Americans to renew their role in building a healthy, multiracial democracy.
Today, the Revolutionary Love Project is seeding networked communities of practice across the country, equipping people with the practical tools to build beloved community and transform the nation from inside out. In the last two decades, Valarie has won policy change on multiple fronts – hate crimes, racial profiling, immigration detention, solitary confinement, Internet freedom, and more. She founded Groundswell Movement, Faithful Internet, and the Yale Visual Law Project to equip advocates at the intersection of spirituality, storytelling, and justice.
Valarie has been a regular TV commentator on MSNBC and contributor to CNN, NPR, PBS, the Hill, Huffington Post, and the Washington Post. She is a celebrated prophetic voice and has spoken widely, including at President Biden’s Inaugural Prayer Service. Valarie earned degrees at Stanford University, Harvard Divinity School, and Yale Law School, and holds several honorary doctorates. In Fall 2022, President Biden honored Valarie at the White House in the first-ever Uniters Ceremony, naming her as one of 16 leaders whose work is healing America.
A daughter of Punjabi farmers, Valarie grew up on the farmlands of California, where her family has lived for more than a century. Her grandfather gave her Sikh wisdom through stories and songs that showed the way of the sant-sipahi, sage-warrior. The sage loves; the warrior fights — it is a path of revolutionary love.
Connect with Valarie:
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Website | valariekaur.com
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Facebook | www.facebook.com/valarie.kaur.page
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Instagram | @valariekaur
Resources from Valarie:
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See No Stranger: A Memoir and Manifesto of Revolutionary Love
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Valarie’s TED Talk: 3 Lessons of Revolutionary Love in a Time of Rage
Topics Discussed in this Episode:
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Valarie's story about the birth of her son, with her mother by her side, and the lessons she learned about motherhood from that experience.
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Mothering as a verb and how mothering often feels like walking through a ring of fire.
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The experiences that set Valarie on a path of activism after 9/11 and the surprising spark moment she learned from her grieving aunt.
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How becoming a mother changed Valarie’s orientation from activism fighting against hate to activism fighting for revolutionary love.
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Valarie’s experience moving to the Rainforest to reflect on all she learned and write her book See No Stranger.
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Revolutionary love as the call of our times.
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Valarie’s epic snapshot moment nursing her daughter while she was at the White House being honored.
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The quote from Audrey Lorde that reminds Valarie to care for and invest in herself - “We can learn to mother ourselves.”
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The Wise Woman ritual Valarie experienced with two of her Sikh friends and the meditation she offers to help you tap into your inner Wise Woman.
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The lullaby Valarie wrote and sang for her daughter that will become a children’s book, “World of Wonder.”
This Episode’s Challenge:
Valarie says that the root of love is wonder and sings us a lullaby she wrote for her daughter about wonder. She encourages us to wonder about our partners, our children, our friendships, and beyond. Wondering about each other is a revolutionary process in a society that wants to shut down our ability to look at one another’s faces and say “You are a part of me I don’t yet now.” It’s so simple but it can change everything and help us birth a better world.
Other Episodes Mentioned in this Conversation:
About This Episode’s Dedication By Shelly Tygielski:
This is the 100th episode of the Mother’s Quest Podcast. It feels fitting to mark this occasion with a powerful conversation about Revolutionary Love with renowned civil rights leader Valarie Kaur. Valarie talks about Revolutionary Love as sweet labor and this podcast, since I launched it 7 years ago in 2016, has always been a labor of love.
So too has been my form of mission-aligned sponsorship, where rather than seeking corporate sponsors, I invite one mother to dedicate each episode and to make a contribution to support Mother’s Quest.
In honor of this milestone, I invited Shelly Tygielski, founder of Pandemic of Love, and an Advisory Board Member of Global Empowerment Mission to dedicate. Instead of contributing to Mother’s Quest, I made a contribution to the Global Empowerment Mission. I hope you’ll join me in celebrating this 100th episode milestone by sharing this important conversation you’re about to hear and by making a donation to the Global Empowerment Mission.
Shelly’s Dedication:
I would like to dedicate this episode of the Mother's Quest podcast to all the mothers of young, innocent children who are caught in the crossfire of war. May these children grow up in a world that is free from hate and injustice. May they be free from suffering. May they have access to opportunities and never be devoid of hopes and dreams. As the founder of Pandemic of Love and an advisory board member of Global Empowerment Mission, we are currently providing aid to Israelis and to Palestinians. When people ask us to choose a side, we say we have. We are on the side of love. Or as Valerie Kaur says it is the best, revolutionary love. So to learn more about how you can support our efforts, please visit globalempowermentmission.org.
Donate here:
https://www.globalempowermentmission.org/mission/israel-hamas-war/
Connect with Shelly Tygielski:
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Website | shellytygielski.com ; pandemicoflove.com ; partnersinkindproductions.com
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Instagram | @mindfulskatergirl
Mother’s Quest is a podcast for moms who are ready to live a truly E.P.I.C. life.
Join in for intimate conversations with a diverse group of inspiring mothers as they share how they are living an E.P.I.C. life, Engaging mindfully with their children (E), Passionately and Purposefully making a difference beyond their family (P), Investing in themselves (I), and Connecting to a strong support network (C).
As Mother’s Quest approaches 100 episodes, we invite you to help us spread the word by leaving a review on Apple Podcasts. Help us reach 100 reviews to honor 100 episodes this Season Eight of the Mother’s Quest Podcast!
You can also support the podcast by making a contribution or joining one of our memberships at our Patron Page on Ko-Fi.com.
Join our community of mothers to light the way and sustain you on your quest at www.facebook.com/groups/mothersquest