Tom Hanks All the Way Down
Murder-Suicide Matinee
We're back to ruin the holidays with a scholarly dissection of a christmas classic!* Listen along, and you too can piss off everyone at the family dinner table with incisive insight into the post-9/11 military-industrial themes of The Polar Express, and the USA's ongoing anxious spiral into full christmas derangement. Featuring: Being Tom Hankovich, Santa's adrenachrome harvesting operation, elf rally at Yulemberg, graphic hobo explosion, Dewey's wet cardboard box, Cami's Frosty origin story,[white knuckled] it matters where the train is going *Allegedly, arguably. Classic status...
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Yu-Gi-Oh! The Movie: Pyramid of Light
Murder-Suicide Matinee
It's been a while since an episode was a complete, unmitigated disaster from beginning to end. Hosts going through it, movie abysmal, audio files swallowed by dark gods. This month we inflicted Yu-Gi-Oh! The Movie: Pyramid of Light upon ourselves, for critical damage. If you know or care about Yu-Gi-Oh! you too will feel your life points drain as we display about as much in-depth knowledge of the franchise as we have about Star Wars. There are cards, and there are righteous twinks. That's about all we've got. IMPORTANT: Do not educate us about Yu-Gi-Oh. Featuring: corncob PSA, all of the...
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Space Jam: A New Legacy
Murder-Suicide Matinee
Welcome to the world of Tiny Don Cheadle, where only scoring a million points in super-basketball can facilitate his master plan to put LeBron James in Game of Thrones. Or Something. We watched Space Jam: A New Legacy and came away knowing less about the plot than before we went in. It's a lot like The Emoji Movie, but infinitely more embarrassing on pretty much every level. Featuring: the Star Wars memory hole, Andrei Tarkovski's CATS, cami's casketball, live subtitles for American listeners, podcast therapy, and LeBron's special move that kills Bugs Bunny. Movie: Space...
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The Emoji Movie
Murder-Suicide Matinee
😩⌚🎬⬅👩⚔💀 you get it it's the fucking emoji movie. god help us. PROGRAMMING NOTE: show notes and bonus clips will go up on Patreon next week, as Lee is out of town all weekend. In exchange, you get this episode a day early. Yippeeee! Featuring: soup wizard's poison stew, patrick stewart's third home, amazing deals on james corden, evil charger that deletes your phone, and the eternal sunshine of lee's emoji mind. Movie: The Emoji Movie (2017) Director: Tony Leondis Rating: movie that could have been a powerpoint Follow for show updates, episode notes, stills and more! intro...
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Leo the Lion [LOST EPISODE]
Murder-Suicide Matinee
!!!LOST MEDIA RECOVERED!!! This bonus full-length episode drop is as much a surprise to us as it is to you. After our CATS theatricular spectacular, we actually recorded another episode in September 2020. First, recording was delayed by [VARIOUS GLOBAL EVENTS]. Then editing was delayed by a computer failure. By the time the edit resumed, the entire intro (about, you know, [VARIOUS GLOBAL EVENTS]) was so dated that we didn't know what to do with the episode. Before we could decide, another computer failure took the matter out of our hands. We believed the almost-finished episode was...
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Our Drawings - Princess Movie
Murder-Suicide Matinee
Once in a while, it does us good to check out a nutritious, homegrown independent movie. Something made with love, care, copious ambition, and a free copy of Blender. Something like Our Drawings - Princess Movie, better known as that thing with the beatboxing puppy. As fans of know, we will go to the mats for an incomprehensible passion project every time. Join us for an absolutely mindbending viewing experience, followed by an undergraduate lecture on postmodern art by way of skibidi toilet. and open your third eye. Featuring: Bearfoot is legal, animator burnout, failed...
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Riverdance: The Animated Adventure
Murder-Suicide Matinee
Did you think it was over? Did you think we were finished? Did you really, truly, honestly believe we have anything better to do with our time than bicker over certified rotten animated features? Foolish. Four years after Cats tried to put us in the ground, we are risen again like the good lord himself. For humanity's sins, we watched Riverdance: The Animated Adventure. Featuring: Unnecessary lockdown hobbies, things that go beep boop, Cami dated a guy once, grandma's charging dock, and Irishman colony collapse. Movie: Riverdance: The Animated Adventure Director: Eamonn Butler & Dave...
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CATS
Murder-Suicide Matinee
Our very first very special 2-hour On Release spectacular. What is there to say? We saw it. We went. There was vore. There were computer faces. There were naked human hands. Oh man. Oh boy. Oh kids. Featuring: Cami almost gets arrested, two literal dissociative episodes, filthy fursuits, a jellicle cat is a racist cat, everything you've ever wanted to know about trains (but it was too boring to ask), Ian McKellen's tongue acting, a tour of hell, podcast trial of the century Movie: CATS (2019) Director: Tom Hooper Rating: literalists go to hell Special thanks to interview victims: William...
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Spookley the Square Pumpkin
Murder-Suicide Matinee
In accordance with MSM tradition (that is very on purpose and an intentional part of our brand, and NOT the whim of a chaotic universe), we present to you this year's Halloween-in-December pre-holiday spookfest: 2004's Spookley the Square Pumpkin! You may have heard of this lumpen mistake of nature recently from some other, much more popular podcast, who may have given away the whole synopsis to an audience who could populate a reasonably sized town, and may be smarter, funnier and collectively more handsome than at least one of our hosts.* It's okay, though, you wouldn't be listening to this...
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Help! I'm a Fish
Murder-Suicide Matinee
Oh yes we're revisiting the MILLENNIUM FISH MOVIE CRAZE that I bet you don't remember at all. With a completely inexplicable cast including Alan Paul, Aaron Rickman, Tabitha St. Germain and Terry Jones, Help! I'm A Fish is an inscrutable series of creative decisions that we were absolutely unprepared to witness. Featuring: the continued saga of Dr. whatever his name is, yeet your sister, Doing The Icarus, and Alan Rickman's bare human ass Movie: Hjælp! Jeg er en Fisk (Help! I'm A Fish) (2000) Four Whole Ass Directors: Stefan Fjeldmark, Greg Manwaring, Michael Donovan,...
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This episode gestated almost as long as a real baby! Join us for timely and topical new year humour, and sizzling hot takes on that one weird pro-life zootopia comic everyone's already forgotten about!
Oh, we also talk about 2017's The Boss Baby - the movie with a definite article in the title that nobody acknowledges, made by adults who have a lot to say about corporate culture and have evidently never met a real human child.
Featured highlights: Wizzy is my father, schroedinger's pregnancy, a check-in with the Elvis industry, and children are sociopaths
note: we had some technical issues with Cami’s audio on this episode - it’s totally listenable but you might hear a couple of glitches where the ends of her words clip out. it’s okay, she wasn’t saying anything important anyway.
Movie: The Boss Baby (2017)
Directors: Tom McGrath
Rating: unattended child crying in an airport for 8 hours
intro and outro music: “Everyone in Town Wants You Dead” by Singing Sadie
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