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ACCOUNTABILITY vs RESPONSIBILITY - "If I Have To Protect You, Why Can't I Hold You Accountable."

MARRIAGE & MARKETING PODCAST

Release Date: 08/03/2022

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ACCOUNTABILITY vs RESPONSIBILITY - "If I Have To Protect You, Why Can't I Hold You Accountable?" 

--> READ THE BLOG POST HERE

http://lolaandola.com/accountability-vs-responsibility/

--> WATCH VIDEO VERSION HERE
https://youtu.be/4ujnoB6wY4E

 

Wow.  I won’t call this a stupid question even though I should.  But I’ll tell you why you can’t hold her accountable.  You lack self respect.

 

And the worst thing about it is that you are perpetuating it right now. It’s a competition.  It’s a contest.  It’s transactional.  You’ve made yourself equal to the woman… she’s not even your woman.

 

But then I should calm down because it’s all YouTube panels and should not be conflicted with a romantic relationship.

 

CAP.  Sadly… Many young men are taking these conversations back to their romantic relationships in attempts to hold a woman accountable.  And it’s failing.

 

Anything I say in my lessons is easier said than done.  But they are highly rewarding when you figure it out.

 

Thank you so much for being here.  Please support the channel by hitting the like button, sharing the video and more importantly, sharing your thoughts and engaging in the comment area below.

 

In this lesson, we will answer questions and cover things like:

 

  1. Do Females Lack Accountability?

 

  1. Accountability vs Responsibility

 

  1. Accountability vs Blame In Relationships & Marriage

 

  1. 5 Signs of Lack of Accountability In Relationships & Marriage

 

  1. Relationship Accountability Spectrum

 

As we speak, there are tons of conversations going on reddit and various social media platforms around the idea that accountability is a woman's kryptonite.

 

Is that true?

 

In fact, the memes are endless.  The manosphere talking points around women’s lack of accountability is likewise endless.

 

For example, I just read one women accountability meme that says… and I quote…

 

"60% of women cheat but 85% of the time it is the man's fault.  Women tend to cheat because they are not being loved properly or they have been feeling lonely for a long period of time in a relationship and so they lean on another male for support and accidentally have sex with them."

 

As you know, this is a platform where we hold ourselves as men accountable particularly to facilitate personal growth with respect to relationships.

 

Weak men think of it as pandering.  “Ola.. stop shaming men.”

 

One of the push back I get this most is…

 

“So it’s always a man’s fault?” 

Here is another meme joke I read… I guess a woman saying

 

"Whatchu mean I don't have no accountability? 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10! See I have the ability to count.”

 

That is funny… You will also hear things like…

 

"Women demand equality except when they get special treatment for being a woman."

 

Some even say “Not only are they not held accountable, if a male is involved, he's held accountable for her actions!”

 

Well, when a man has not heard me long enough, it’s easy for him to say that I am holding him accountable for a woman’s actions.

 

Never that!  But I could hold you accountable for not leaving and disengaging any conversation with her if she’s such a bad person.  That is your action or lack there-of.

 

The talking points are endless.  Here is another one.

 

“Y’all are both drunk and have sex. The male is held accountable.” 

 

This one is obviously a generalization and you know how I feel about those.

 

And another one.  “A girl flirts with a guy at work and the guy decides to go for it.  The guy gets fired.” 

 

Okay. So the society protects the most vulnerable first, children, then women before we get to the men in a society that has men, women and children… no aliens.

 

Where is the surprise here again? 

Are we still talking about accountability for women and you are running from accountability?

 

“You both decide to get married but then the woman doesn't want to be married anymore and wants a divorce. The man has to pay alimony to women.”  

 

80% of divorces are initiated by women.  Congrats.  You passed your data, facts and stats test.  Now.. let’s get back into the real world.

 

I am guessing this is the part where we will all pretend that there is nothing between getting married and the divorce.  It’s all vacuum.  Right?

 

Let’s do one more.

 

“You both have sex and she gets pregnant. She's not going to be the one paying child support for the next 18yrs. You are.”  

 

Again…. Gross generalization at best.  

 

It’s just hard to come up with healthy solutions when you spend so much energy on (I won’t call it complaining even though it is.) generalizations, blaming, shaming and insults.

 

At that point, you now have to sell me harder on the idea that you in particular don't hate accountability as well.

 

Does this sound like caping for women to you already?

 

If it does, I understand.  That’s what being held accountable feels like.

 

But let’s reason together if we call ourselves men.  Another one of the talking points is thinking of a man and taking away reason and accountability in order to spell “women”.

 

I am just being brutally honest and maybe you are stuck on the brutality of it.  But I have to show you the reality and flash your results in your face… the only source of objective truth.

 

Let me repeat that.  The only source of objective truth is reality, time and results.  Everything else is an opinion based on old data. 

 

So Do Females Lack Accountability?

 

I have to be honest in that there are lots of half-truths to all the examples and accusations of lack of accountability on women’s part.

 

But guess who is responsible for that?  You guess that right.  Whichever side of the gender wants to lead the society is responsible for that.

 

That’s the reality.

 

But again… women and accountability in a romantic context don’t mix and I don’t think they are supposed to mix… especially when there is no vision and order.

 

…especially not from a blame standpoint.  I know there is a difference between blame and accountability but I know what blame sounds like.

 

It sounds exactly like when you claim you are holding women accountable.  Am I pandering here… whatever…. 

 

Due to the nature of romantic relationships…

 

The feminine energy is responsible for the chaotic and creative beauty that attracts us as men while the masculine energy is responsible for the structure, security, safety and order.

 

That’s what creates sexual polarity, the in-love experience and if you can manage it on a day-to-day basis long enough… 30 to 40 years from now, incels will call you lucky.

 

Outside of romance or anything affected or influenced by romance, women are held accountable all the time for their actions at work, in society, when they get pregnant and even on a month-to-month basis just for being women.

 

Accountability Vs Responsibility

 

You can at least agree that the leader is responsible for the state of any context; society or romantic and individual levels. Right?

 

I found 3 dictionary meanings but I will use two of them for context and application. Dictionary meanings are terrible for relationships on face value.

 

  1. The opportunity or ability to act independently and make decisions without authorization.

 

  1. The state or fact of being accountable or to blame for something.

 

So we have authority but at the cost of being exposed to blame.

 

This is the reality.  

 

And so for those who want to hide under the canopy of a need to rebuild the community, you should know that the focus on blame and shame will defeat the purpose because you will effectively be pointing back at self.

 

Besides, I personally think every “women accountability talk” around building communities “is cap”.  I’d rather we particularize it.

 

“Why do women hate being accountable when it comes to interactions with YOU?”  That’s a better question with better chances of getting to an answer.

 

We will continue with… “Accountability Vs Blame In Relationships & Marriage in Part 2”