Defensiveness vs Gaslighting - What’s the Difference & How to Stop Both: Episode 362
EmPowered Couples with The Freemans
Release Date: 09/24/2024
How We Each Played a Role in Overcoming AVOIDANT & ANXIOUS Tendencies to Create a Secure Marriage: Episode 370
EmPowered Couples with The Freemans
Yes we have a secure relationship and marriage now. But we certainly had to overcome our initial anxious and avoidant tendencies early on. Even now, those tendencies can still show up; we have just done the work to handle situations, emotions, and conflicts in healthy and secure ways to stay on the same team. In this episode you will hear us tell our relationship story as the background for how you can overcome any of your own insecure attachment patterns. You will hear the quick reminder of: the 4 attachment styles, the 5 core pillars within each style, and then the things...
info_outline
3 Conversations to Have as a Couple Before the End of the Year (to Start 2025 Off GREAT): Episode 369
EmPowered Couples with The Freemans
info_outline
Lost in Translation From What’s SAID to What’s HEARD (Unpacking a Root Cause of Miscommunications): Episode 368
EmPowered Couples with The Freemans
Imagine a scenario where you and your partner are having a conversation. In the middle you begin to feel as if what you are saying is clear, but your partner doesn’t seem to be getting it. You start to get frustrated, your tone or volume changes, so then they get annoyed or irritated and the conversation begins to escalate. This episode is all about how the meaning of conversations can easily get misunderstood and misinterpreted. The longer you are in a relationship the higher chance there is of this happening. Now you do have two choices, you can keep trying to get your partner to...
info_outline
Remembering the Reasons for Being Married (That Also Get You Through the Hard Seasons): Episode 367
EmPowered Couples with The Freemans
Whenever you meet an obstacle it is common to ask “why” it happened or even “why” you started down this particular path. You might even ask yourself why you got married or why you should continue when it feels particularly challenging with your partner. There are different ideas (and even studies) that give reasons for why people get married. The top ones are for love and companionship while the next on the list are to have kids, followed by financial and legal reasons. In this episode you will hear us propose our reason for getting married, which is different from any you will...
info_outline
The Role of Emotions in Marriage & How to Better Hold the Space For Each Other: Episode 366
EmPowered Couples with The Freemans
Is feeling emotion within yourself something you welcome or try to avoid? What about when emotion is expressed by your partner, do you experience that as a sign of something bad starting up or as an invitation to listen? Emotion is at the root of relationships, it is what makes it satisfying and fulfilling as well as the starting point of conflicts. So what is the role of emotion and does it have a real place in a relationship? In this episode you will hear the answer to this question as well as the common barriers and challenges to “holding space for” your partner’s emotions? This...
info_outline
Forgiveness & Letting Go of the Past: Episode 365
EmPowered Couples with The Freemans
In marriage, unresolved hurts can pile up over time, creating distance and eroding trust. That’s why forgiveness is one of the most crucial (yet challenging) elements to maintaining a healthy, connected relationship. But what does true forgiveness actually look like? And what blocks it from happening? In this episode, we dive into the depths of forgiveness: what it is and what it isn’t, why it’s essential for moving forward, and how it affects your closeness as a couple. We’ll also explore real-life examples of where forgiveness may be needed in marriage, what keeps couples stuck in...
info_outline
Husbands and Wives Have This OPPOSING Marriage Goal and They Don’t Realize It: Episode 364
EmPowered Couples with The Freemans
Does it ever feel like you and your partner have different goals or even that your needs are conflicting with one another? This can be obvious when one partner is saying they need more quality time and the other is saying they need more time for themselves. But there is another conflicting goal that men and women have that is hard to detect. In this episode you will hear what this conflicting goal is, that you would likely never guess. From all the sessions we do, as well as having hosted our Couples Workshop, this is an underlying subconscious goal that is more pervasive than you...
info_outline
What Creates Emotional Connection & Intimacy: Episode 363
EmPowered Couples with The Freemans
One of the most common questions we get is “how do we create more emotional connection” with each other. The most popular question is about repair, but this is in second place! This is a great question because there isn’t a single answer because it often depends on the season a couple is in and what the most meaningful needs are for each partner in that given season. Nevertheless, the constant creation of emotional connection is one of the single most important elements for having high satisfaction in a marriage. In this episode, we will reveal what we see as the 5 key...
info_outline
Defensiveness vs Gaslighting - What’s the Difference & How to Stop Both: Episode 362
EmPowered Couples with The Freemans
It’s important for all of us to admit that we have defensive mechanisms and that we do get defensive with our partners at times. Let’s allow ourselves some grace here. Many of you would probably relate to getting even more defensive about getting defensive! It is common to go on the offensive through deflection or blame, which can leave another feeling that their experience is being invalidated. However that does not mean that someone is being gaslighted. Gaslighting is a much more serious pattern when it is happening, and is a strong accusation to make that can quickly escalate a...
info_outline
Navigating Make It or Break It Moments in Marriage: Episode 361
EmPowered Couples with The Freemans
Today we explore the turning points where marriages either survive or fall apart, when they hit that "make it for break it" decision point. We've seen five couples end their relationships recently, one even filing papers yesterday, yet none of them reached out for support from us. Given marriage is what we do, it came as a shock to us when we heard the news. We know many people have this expereince when they hear about friends ending their relationships. So we want to give you the reasons why couples get to this point and WAYS to work at it. In this episode we provide you with...
info_outlineIt’s important for all of us to admit that we have defensive mechanisms and that we do get defensive with our partners at times. Let’s allow ourselves some grace here. Many of you would probably relate to getting even more defensive about getting defensive! It is common to go on the offensive through deflection or blame, which can leave another feeling that their experience is being invalidated.
However that does not mean that someone is being gaslighted. Gaslighting is a much more serious pattern when it is happening, and is a strong accusation to make that can quickly escalate a conversation or conflict. In this episode you will hear the clear distinction between defensiveness and gaslighting so that you can use the terms properly and reduce escalation. By the end of the episode you will hear 6 different actions to take to reduce both defensiveness and gaslighting in your relations. Both of these lead to erosion of connection, love, and emotional closeness.
Relationship Resources:
Join one of the 30 Day Couples Challenges starting Oct 1st, 2024 - select either one with this link: https://www.meetthefreemans.com/challenges. Or see the individual details below:
Level 1 details: “Prioritizing Us” is focused on strengthening your connection, communication, and fun “Love Deposit” ideas. LINKED HERE
Level 2 details : “Rebuilding Us” is focused on repairing and rebuilding after a harder season of marriage. LINKED HERE