Emotional & Physical Turn-Offs in Marriage (and How to Create More Attraction Again): Episode 407
EmPowered Couples with The Freemans
Release Date: 07/29/2025
EmPowered Couples with The Freemans
The holidays are supposed to feel relaxing and joyful. But for many couples, they’re anything but. Between travel plans, family visits, and unspoken expectations, this season can quickly become chaotic, exhausting, and full of tension. One partner often ends up feeling like they’re carrying most of the mental and emotional load, while the other doesn’t realize how unbalanced it feels. In this episode, we’re unpacking the real root of holiday stress in relationships: mismatched and unmet expectations. You’ll hear the kinds of conversations you need to have to prevent disconnection and...
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Have you ever shared an idea or dream with your spouse, something that genuinely excited you, only to have the energy immediately flattened by practicality or fear? In this episode, we’re unpacking a dynamic that quietly drains energy and connection in many marriages: when one partner is in enthusiastic, imaginative energy and the other instantly shifts into logic and control mode. We’ll explore why this happens, what it reveals emotionally for each partner, and how to respond in a way that keeps the energy between you alive instead of shutting it down. In this episode you’ll hear: The...
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As the holiday season approaches, many couples find themselves hitting a quiet but undeniable breaking point. Something about this stretch of time—from mid-October through the new year—brings things to the surface. Maybe it’s the reflection that comes with the end of a year. Maybe it’s the pressure of finances, family expectations, or feeling like life is flying by. But without the closeness you hoped to feel by now. For many, it’s a season where the question “Can we really keep going like this?” starts to creep in. In this episode, we unpack a question so many couples wrestle...
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Have you ever thought about how your own stress affects your kids — or how your parents’ stress might still be affecting you? In this powerful conversation with Dr. Taz Bhatia, integrative medicine physician, author, and founder of Hol+, we explore how the health of the parents — especially the mother — sets the tone for the entire family system. Because wellness isn’t just about self-care… it’s about the legacy you’re creating for the next generation. Together, we unpack how patterns of anger, overwhelm, and chronic stress get passed down in families — and how to...
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It seems like the “I need more space” and “I need to talk this out now” partners always find each other! This is the basis of the Pursuer/Withdrawer as well as the Anxious/Avoidant partner dynamics in marriage. When this dynamic happens, it always causes more tension, defensiveness, anxiety, and distance than the initial topic of conversation. If this sounds at all like dynamics you and your partner get into, you certainly are not alone! In today’s episode you will hear more detail about what’s really happening for each partner, whether it is the need for space or resolution....
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Division isn’t just a problem in the world—it’s creeping into homes, marriages, and families everywhere. When couples start turning against each other instead of standing together, the bond that once felt safe and secure begins to weaken. In this episode, we’re breaking down The 4 D’s That Create Division in a Marriage: Dismissiveness, Defensiveness, Deflecting, and Divorce Threats. These subtle but destructive patterns slowly undermine connection and emotional safety, often without you even realizing it. We’ll clearly define what each of these behaviors looks and sounds like—and...
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Many times in marriage, you can start what you think is a simple conversation and have it turn into a miscommunication or even a conflict. It is frustrating when you are trying to simply communicate something and it isn’t received by your partner. In this episode we talk about the difference between productive and unproductive communication and what makes partners good communicators vs poor communicators. You will be surprised by the simple shift you can make and the massive difference it will make in how you each speak and listen to one another. To dive further into the source...
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When emotions run high in marriage, one of the most common traps couples fall into is what to do with each other’s feelings. Should you validate them? Should you challenge them? Or should you just offer a quick solution so you can move on? The truth is when emotional validation is missing or misunderstood, small hurts linger, conflicts spiral, and one or both partners can end up feeling dismissed, forced into solutions, or left unresolved. It’s also one of the biggest complaints we hear from spouses…”you’re not validating my feelings!” In this episode, we unpack: Why...
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After our recent intimacy series, there were dozens of follow up questions from you all asking us to dive further into normal hormonal changes as we age and proactive steps you can take to age gracefully AND stay connected through the changes. In this episode, double board-certified physician Dr. Amy Shah (women’s health & nutrition) joins us to bust the “dad bod/mom bod is just aging” myth—and lay out practical, evidence-informed steps couples can use to sleep better, reduce stress, protect libido, and stay united through perimenopause, menopause, and men’s steady...
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Are we getting too self-focused in marriage? In this episode, we unpack the cultural messages that push hyper-individualism (“fill your cup first”) and show why great marriages are actually built on mutual care, not solo self-care. We talk about healthy vs. overcorrected boundaries, why prosocial actions (doing good for your partner) boost your own mood, how to shift from short-term impulses to a long-term family vision, and practical ways to “out-love” each other in daily life. What you’ll learn from this episode: The trap of “me first” and how it quietly erodes...
info_outlineAttraction in marriage doesn’t just disappear overnight, but it can fade through the habits, energy, and unspoken patterns you fall into over time.
In this episode, we reveal the biggest emotional and physical turn-offs (and turn-ons) based on anonymous submissions from real couples. This episode is for couples who want to feel that spark again—without needing to go back to the beginning.
In this episode you will hear:
- What’s quietly draining desire in your relationship
- Five patterns that slowly erode attraction
- How to reignite emotional connection and physical intimacy—without pressure or perfection
Plus, learn how to take small daily actions with the 30-Day Best of Us Intimacy Challenge (sign ups officially open now - only available 3x/year)
Reignite emotional & physical intimacy through small, meaningful actions by starting this September 1st challenge here 👉 mycoupleschallenge.com/best
Episode Time Stamps:
3:54 – Attraction in marriage takes effort
5:34 – How attraction quietly erodes
6:06 – Biggest turn-offs (survey results)
7:23 – Biggest turn-ons (survey results)
8:54 – Turn-offs women report most
10:18 – Turn-offs men report most
11:28 – Average satisfaction score (2.07 out of 5!)
12:25 – Criticism vs appreciation
15:12 – Physical self-care and energy
19:25 – The roommate dynamic
24:30 – Resentment is blocking desire
28:00 – Emotional shutdown erodes intimacy
30:33 – Rebuilding intimacy from now, not the past
31:39 – Energy you bring to the room
32:50 – Making your partner feel admired
35:33 – Refreshing rituals to spark attraction
37:00 – Timing matters: don’t wait till exhaustion
38:00 – Join The Best of Us 30-Day Couples Challenge