When Intimacy Feels Like Another Task in Marriage — How to Shift the Energy & Reignite Desire: Episode 408
EmPowered Couples with The Freemans
Release Date: 08/05/2025
Discussing Holiday Expectations and Visiting In-Laws (To Prevent Chaos and Conflict): Episode 423
EmPowered Couples with The Freemans
The holidays are supposed to feel relaxing and joyful. But for many couples, they’re anything but. Between travel plans, family visits, and unspoken expectations, this season can quickly become chaotic, exhausting, and full of tension. One partner often ends up feeling like they’re carrying most of the mental and emotional load, while the other doesn’t realize how unbalanced it feels. In this episode, we’re unpacking the real root of holiday stress in relationships: mismatched and unmet expectations. You’ll hear the kinds of conversations you need to have to prevent disconnection and...
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Accidentally Squashing Your Partner’s Excitement (When You’re on Two Different Wavelengths in a Conversation): Episode 422
EmPowered Couples with The Freemans
Have you ever shared an idea or dream with your spouse, something that genuinely excited you, only to have the energy immediately flattened by practicality or fear? In this episode, we’re unpacking a dynamic that quietly drains energy and connection in many marriages: when one partner is in enthusiastic, imaginative energy and the other instantly shifts into logic and control mode. We’ll explore why this happens, what it reveals emotionally for each partner, and how to respond in a way that keeps the energy between you alive instead of shutting it down. In this episode you’ll hear: The...
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Can One Spouse Change the Marriage For the Better? Episode 421
EmPowered Couples with The Freemans
As the holiday season approaches, many couples find themselves hitting a quiet but undeniable breaking point. Something about this stretch of time—from mid-October through the new year—brings things to the surface. Maybe it’s the reflection that comes with the end of a year. Maybe it’s the pressure of finances, family expectations, or feeling like life is flying by. But without the closeness you hoped to feel by now. For many, it’s a season where the question “Can we really keep going like this?” starts to creep in. In this episode, we unpack a question so many couples wrestle...
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The Science of Stress, Anger & Connection—How to Heal the Family System with Dr. Taz Bhatia: Episode 420
EmPowered Couples with The Freemans
Have you ever thought about how your own stress affects your kids — or how your parents’ stress might still be affecting you? In this powerful conversation with Dr. Taz Bhatia, integrative medicine physician, author, and founder of Hol+, we explore how the health of the parents — especially the mother — sets the tone for the entire family system. Because wellness isn’t just about self-care… it’s about the legacy you’re creating for the next generation. Together, we unpack how patterns of anger, overwhelm, and chronic stress get passed down in families — and how to...
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When the ‘Needing Space’ and ‘Needing Resolution’ Partners Marry Each Other: Episode 419
EmPowered Couples with The Freemans
It seems like the “I need more space” and “I need to talk this out now” partners always find each other! This is the basis of the Pursuer/Withdrawer as well as the Anxious/Avoidant partner dynamics in marriage. When this dynamic happens, it always causes more tension, defensiveness, anxiety, and distance than the initial topic of conversation. If this sounds at all like dynamics you and your partner get into, you certainly are not alone! In today’s episode you will hear more detail about what’s really happening for each partner, whether it is the need for space or resolution....
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The 4 D’s That Create Division in a Marriage: Episode 418
EmPowered Couples with The Freemans
Division isn’t just a problem in the world—it’s creeping into homes, marriages, and families everywhere. When couples start turning against each other instead of standing together, the bond that once felt safe and secure begins to weaken. In this episode, we’re breaking down The 4 D’s That Create Division in a Marriage: Dismissiveness, Defensiveness, Deflecting, and Divorce Threats. These subtle but destructive patterns slowly undermine connection and emotional safety, often without you even realizing it. We’ll clearly define what each of these behaviors looks and sounds like—and...
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The Difference Between Productive and Unproductive Communication: Episode 417
EmPowered Couples with The Freemans
Many times in marriage, you can start what you think is a simple conversation and have it turn into a miscommunication or even a conflict. It is frustrating when you are trying to simply communicate something and it isn’t received by your partner. In this episode we talk about the difference between productive and unproductive communication and what makes partners good communicators vs poor communicators. You will be surprised by the simple shift you can make and the massive difference it will make in how you each speak and listen to one another. To dive further into the source...
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Do Spouses Need to Validate Every Feeling or Emotional Upset? Episode 416
EmPowered Couples with The Freemans
When emotions run high in marriage, one of the most common traps couples fall into is what to do with each other’s feelings. Should you validate them? Should you challenge them? Or should you just offer a quick solution so you can move on? The truth is when emotional validation is missing or misunderstood, small hurts linger, conflicts spiral, and one or both partners can end up feeling dismissed, forced into solutions, or left unresolved. It’s also one of the biggest complaints we hear from spouses…”you’re not validating my feelings!” In this episode, we unpack: Why...
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Hormones, Sleep, Alcohol & Perimenopause: How to Age Gracefully Together with Dr. Amy Shah: Episode 415
EmPowered Couples with The Freemans
After our recent intimacy series, there were dozens of follow up questions from you all asking us to dive further into normal hormonal changes as we age and proactive steps you can take to age gracefully AND stay connected through the changes. In this episode, double board-certified physician Dr. Amy Shah (women’s health & nutrition) joins us to bust the “dad bod/mom bod is just aging” myth—and lay out practical, evidence-informed steps couples can use to sleep better, reduce stress, protect libido, and stay united through perimenopause, menopause, and men’s steady...
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Are Spouses Becoming Too Selfish? What a Healthy Marriage Actually Requires That Media Isn’t Telling You: Episode 414
EmPowered Couples with The Freemans
Are we getting too self-focused in marriage? In this episode, we unpack the cultural messages that push hyper-individualism (“fill your cup first”) and show why great marriages are actually built on mutual care, not solo self-care. We talk about healthy vs. overcorrected boundaries, why prosocial actions (doing good for your partner) boost your own mood, how to shift from short-term impulses to a long-term family vision, and practical ways to “out-love” each other in daily life. What you’ll learn from this episode: The trap of “me first” and how it quietly erodes...
info_outlineIs it normal for intimacy to feel like another item on your to-do list? You love your partner, but between parenting, exhaustion, and unspoken resentment… desire can fade.
In this episode, we're unpacking why intimacy feels like an obligation — and how to shift the emotional and physical energy in your marriage so that you both actually want it again.
We share real stories, emotional dynamics, and practical shifts that help couples go from feeling like roommates to rekindling passion — even in the busiest seasons of life.
Topics we cover in this episode:
-Emotional disconnection vs desire
-Why frequency isn’t the real issue
-How to rebuild emotional and physical intimacy
-Shifting from “obligation” to “wanting” again
Relationship resources:
Ready to reconnect and reignite the spark? Join our 30-Day Special Edition Couples Challenge — The Best of Us (only open 3x a year):
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New episodes weekly to help you communicate better, resolve conflicts, and stay on the SAME TEAM.
Episode timestamps:
00:00 – The real reason intimacy feels like a chore
00:28 – A typical day that drains your connection
01:28 – Intimacy isn’t just about frequency
02:08 – Emotional & physical disconnection = exhaustion
03:36 – Intimacy should fuel your life, not feel like an obligation
05:12 – What makes marriage different from other relationships
06:07 – Why passion fades (and how to bring it back)
07:06 – From obligatory intimacy to real desire
08:02 – The role of stress, overstimulation, and exhaustion
10:17 – Are you ignoring intimacy too long?
11:03 – Hormones, life seasons & libido shifts
12:10 – How unresolved tension blocks intimacy
13:00 – Top 5 blocks to intimacy (from our survey)
14:04 – Is intimacy actually enjoyable for both of you?
15:09 – Why honest intimacy check-ins matter
15:48 – Emotional tone shift #1: warmth, eye contact & presence
17:00 – Emotional coldness kills desire
19:00 – Micro habits that warm up emotional intimacy
20:08 – Shift #2: Physical touch outside the bedroom
21:36 – Shift #3: Initiation & anticipation matter
23:35 – Why women must also participate in creating desire
25:06 – Dating energy vs marriage complacency
26:35 – Would your dating self get a “yes” today?
27:53 – Shift #4: Intimacy starts outside the bedroom
29:19 – Check-ins and parenting stress affect desire too
30:12 – The power of fun and play in rekindling intimacy
31:27 – Relaxation and play spark openness
32:18 – Why our “Best of Us” Challenge is perfect for this
33:03 – Intimacy should be enjoyable — not expected
33:35 – Stop forcing frequency. Focus on connection instead.
34:13 – Subscribe + get ready for our upcoming Q&A episode