10 Lessons From 10 Years of Marriage: The Highs, Lows, and What No One Prepares You For: Episode 413
EmPowered Couples with The Freemans
Release Date: 09/09/2025
EmPowered Couples with The Freemans
It’s easy to look at movies or social media and wonder why love once felt effortless, and now feels quieter, more routine, or even distant. No one prepares you for the reality that long-term love doesn’t stay fueled by novelty and adrenaline forever. As relationships mature, biology shifts, responsibilities increase, and especially after kids, connection can slowly give way to comfort… or worse, roommate energy. If you’ve ever thought, “Something’s missing, but I don’t know what,” this episode is for you. In this conversation, we unpack what’s actually happening beneath the...
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Most couples want to feel more loved, appreciated, and connected. But the way we go about it often backfires. We wait until we’re running on empty to tell our partner what we need, and in that vulnerable moment, it’s easy for things to slip into defensiveness or comparison. This episode flips that dynamic entirely. Instead of focusing on what your partner isn’t doing, we explore the powerful shift of going first—initiating repair, creating small moments of connection, and becoming the kind of loving presence that naturally evokes more love in return. We’ll walk you through three...
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Most couples glide into the new year on autopilot, sometimes with excitement and optimism, hoping things will feel different, more connected, less chaotic… yet they end up repeating the same patterns that make it feel the same as last year . In this episode, we’re giving you one of the most powerful “end-of-year check-in” conversations we use with our private coaching clients. It’s a guided reset that helps you break out of routine, reconnect with each other’s dreams and needs, and get aligned before January even begins. Think of this episode as your personal coaching session; one...
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So many couples love each other deeply… yet still feel disconnected. They talk every day, but the conversations revolve around schedules, responsibilities, and what needs to get done next. In this episode, we’re unpacking why emotional intimacy often fades in long-term relationships, not because the love is gone, but because genuine connection isn’t being fed. You’ll learn what emotional intimacy actually is (in practical, real-life terms), why so many partners misunderstand it, and the surprising psychology behind why couples get stuck in surface-level communication. Then we’ll walk...
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The holidays can bring out both the best and the worst in a marriage. Between packed schedules, family dynamics, and endless to-do lists, it’s easy for connection to get lost in the chaos. But this season doesn’t have to feel like survival mode or that you are just getting through the functions. There are a few key areas in your relationship that—if you focus on them each day—can make you feel appreciated and united as a couple, no matter what the holidays throw your way. In this episode, we’re sharing three powerful shifts with the “3C’s” to help you stay emotionally close and...
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The holidays are supposed to feel relaxing and joyful. But for many couples, they’re anything but. Between travel plans, family visits, and unspoken expectations, this season can quickly become chaotic, exhausting, and full of tension. One partner often ends up feeling like they’re carrying most of the mental and emotional load, while the other doesn’t realize how unbalanced it feels. In this episode, we’re unpacking the real root of holiday stress in relationships: mismatched and unmet expectations. You’ll hear the kinds of conversations you need to have to prevent disconnection and...
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Have you ever shared an idea or dream with your spouse, something that genuinely excited you, only to have the energy immediately flattened by practicality or fear? In this episode, we’re unpacking a dynamic that quietly drains energy and connection in many marriages: when one partner is in enthusiastic, imaginative energy and the other instantly shifts into logic and control mode. We’ll explore why this happens, what it reveals emotionally for each partner, and how to respond in a way that keeps the energy between you alive instead of shutting it down. In this episode you’ll hear: The...
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As the holiday season approaches, many couples find themselves hitting a quiet but undeniable breaking point. Something about this stretch of time—from mid-October through the new year—brings things to the surface. Maybe it’s the reflection that comes with the end of a year. Maybe it’s the pressure of finances, family expectations, or feeling like life is flying by. But without the closeness you hoped to feel by now. For many, it’s a season where the question “Can we really keep going like this?” starts to creep in. In this episode, we unpack a question so many couples wrestle...
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Have you ever thought about how your own stress affects your kids — or how your parents’ stress might still be affecting you? In this powerful conversation with Dr. Taz Bhatia, integrative medicine physician, author, and founder of Hol+, we explore how the health of the parents — especially the mother — sets the tone for the entire family system. Because wellness isn’t just about self-care… it’s about the legacy you’re creating for the next generation. Together, we unpack how patterns of anger, overwhelm, and chronic stress get passed down in families — and how to...
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It seems like the “I need more space” and “I need to talk this out now” partners always find each other! This is the basis of the Pursuer/Withdrawer as well as the Anxious/Avoidant partner dynamics in marriage. When this dynamic happens, it always causes more tension, defensiveness, anxiety, and distance than the initial topic of conversation. If this sounds at all like dynamics you and your partner get into, you certainly are not alone! In today’s episode you will hear more detail about what’s really happening for each partner, whether it is the need for space or resolution....
info_outlineThis week marks our 10-year wedding anniversary and if we’re being honest, the months leading up to it weren’t easy. Research even shows that around the 10-year mark, couples hit peak dissatisfaction.
But here’s the truth: challenges don’t mean your marriage is broken. They’re invitations to grow, reconnect, and come back stronger.
In this episode, we’re opening up about the 10 most powerful lessons from our 10 years together — the highs, the lows, the laughter, and the lessons that have shaped us as individuals, as partners, and as parents.
Whether you’ve been together 2 years, 20, or 50, these lessons will give you perspective, encouragement, and practical tools to stay on the same team in every season. Don’t miss this one—it might change the way you see your marriage.
Relationship Resources:
In honor of our 10-year anniversary, we’re keeping The Best of Us 30-Day Couples Challenge open for just a few more days! This special edition is designed to reignite emotional and physical intimacy, spark joy, and bring out the BEST in each other again.
Join here: mycoupleschallenge.com/best
Or explore all of our tools — from upcoming workshops to guides — at meetthefreemans.com/links
👉 If this episode gave you value, hit subscribe, drop a comment with your favorite lesson, and please leave a review so more couples can find this podcast.
Episode Timestamps of What We Discuss:
0:00 – Why 10 years can be a breaking point for couples
3:20 – Lesson 1: Keep updating your shared vision
9:17 – Lesson 2: Connection is more than just being around each other
15:52 – Lesson 3: Differences can make you a stronger team
25:14 – Lesson 4: Becoming parents forces you to reconstruct your marriage
32:09 – Lesson 5: How you show up daily becomes how your marriage feels
39:37 – Lesson 6: Be more committed to repair than being right (or hurt)
47:49 – Lesson 7: Most arguments aren’t about the surface-level issue
53:03 – Lesson 8: Don’t shift from biggest supporters to biggest critics
59:59 – Lesson 9: The same challenges repeat until you learn the lesson
1:08:48 – Lesson 10: Sometimes you just need to have fun and switch the energy
1:12:43 – Final reflections after 10 years