10 Lessons From 10 Years of Marriage: The Highs, Lows, and What No One Prepares You For: Episode 413
EmPowered Couples with The Freemans
Release Date: 09/09/2025
Discussing Holiday Expectations and Visiting In-Laws (To Prevent Chaos and Conflict): Episode 423
EmPowered Couples with The Freemans
The holidays are supposed to feel relaxing and joyful. But for many couples, they’re anything but. Between travel plans, family visits, and unspoken expectations, this season can quickly become chaotic, exhausting, and full of tension. One partner often ends up feeling like they’re carrying most of the mental and emotional load, while the other doesn’t realize how unbalanced it feels. In this episode, we’re unpacking the real root of holiday stress in relationships: mismatched and unmet expectations. You’ll hear the kinds of conversations you need to have to prevent disconnection and...
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Accidentally Squashing Your Partner’s Excitement (When You’re on Two Different Wavelengths in a Conversation): Episode 422
EmPowered Couples with The Freemans
Have you ever shared an idea or dream with your spouse, something that genuinely excited you, only to have the energy immediately flattened by practicality or fear? In this episode, we’re unpacking a dynamic that quietly drains energy and connection in many marriages: when one partner is in enthusiastic, imaginative energy and the other instantly shifts into logic and control mode. We’ll explore why this happens, what it reveals emotionally for each partner, and how to respond in a way that keeps the energy between you alive instead of shutting it down. In this episode you’ll hear: The...
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Can One Spouse Change the Marriage For the Better? Episode 421
EmPowered Couples with The Freemans
As the holiday season approaches, many couples find themselves hitting a quiet but undeniable breaking point. Something about this stretch of time—from mid-October through the new year—brings things to the surface. Maybe it’s the reflection that comes with the end of a year. Maybe it’s the pressure of finances, family expectations, or feeling like life is flying by. But without the closeness you hoped to feel by now. For many, it’s a season where the question “Can we really keep going like this?” starts to creep in. In this episode, we unpack a question so many couples wrestle...
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The Science of Stress, Anger & Connection—How to Heal the Family System with Dr. Taz Bhatia: Episode 420
EmPowered Couples with The Freemans
Have you ever thought about how your own stress affects your kids — or how your parents’ stress might still be affecting you? In this powerful conversation with Dr. Taz Bhatia, integrative medicine physician, author, and founder of Hol+, we explore how the health of the parents — especially the mother — sets the tone for the entire family system. Because wellness isn’t just about self-care… it’s about the legacy you’re creating for the next generation. Together, we unpack how patterns of anger, overwhelm, and chronic stress get passed down in families — and how to...
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When the ‘Needing Space’ and ‘Needing Resolution’ Partners Marry Each Other: Episode 419
EmPowered Couples with The Freemans
It seems like the “I need more space” and “I need to talk this out now” partners always find each other! This is the basis of the Pursuer/Withdrawer as well as the Anxious/Avoidant partner dynamics in marriage. When this dynamic happens, it always causes more tension, defensiveness, anxiety, and distance than the initial topic of conversation. If this sounds at all like dynamics you and your partner get into, you certainly are not alone! In today’s episode you will hear more detail about what’s really happening for each partner, whether it is the need for space or resolution....
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The 4 D’s That Create Division in a Marriage: Episode 418
EmPowered Couples with The Freemans
Division isn’t just a problem in the world—it’s creeping into homes, marriages, and families everywhere. When couples start turning against each other instead of standing together, the bond that once felt safe and secure begins to weaken. In this episode, we’re breaking down The 4 D’s That Create Division in a Marriage: Dismissiveness, Defensiveness, Deflecting, and Divorce Threats. These subtle but destructive patterns slowly undermine connection and emotional safety, often without you even realizing it. We’ll clearly define what each of these behaviors looks and sounds like—and...
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The Difference Between Productive and Unproductive Communication: Episode 417
EmPowered Couples with The Freemans
Many times in marriage, you can start what you think is a simple conversation and have it turn into a miscommunication or even a conflict. It is frustrating when you are trying to simply communicate something and it isn’t received by your partner. In this episode we talk about the difference between productive and unproductive communication and what makes partners good communicators vs poor communicators. You will be surprised by the simple shift you can make and the massive difference it will make in how you each speak and listen to one another. To dive further into the source...
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Do Spouses Need to Validate Every Feeling or Emotional Upset? Episode 416
EmPowered Couples with The Freemans
When emotions run high in marriage, one of the most common traps couples fall into is what to do with each other’s feelings. Should you validate them? Should you challenge them? Or should you just offer a quick solution so you can move on? The truth is when emotional validation is missing or misunderstood, small hurts linger, conflicts spiral, and one or both partners can end up feeling dismissed, forced into solutions, or left unresolved. It’s also one of the biggest complaints we hear from spouses…”you’re not validating my feelings!” In this episode, we unpack: Why...
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Hormones, Sleep, Alcohol & Perimenopause: How to Age Gracefully Together with Dr. Amy Shah: Episode 415
EmPowered Couples with The Freemans
After our recent intimacy series, there were dozens of follow up questions from you all asking us to dive further into normal hormonal changes as we age and proactive steps you can take to age gracefully AND stay connected through the changes. In this episode, double board-certified physician Dr. Amy Shah (women’s health & nutrition) joins us to bust the “dad bod/mom bod is just aging” myth—and lay out practical, evidence-informed steps couples can use to sleep better, reduce stress, protect libido, and stay united through perimenopause, menopause, and men’s steady...
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Are Spouses Becoming Too Selfish? What a Healthy Marriage Actually Requires That Media Isn’t Telling You: Episode 414
EmPowered Couples with The Freemans
Are we getting too self-focused in marriage? In this episode, we unpack the cultural messages that push hyper-individualism (“fill your cup first”) and show why great marriages are actually built on mutual care, not solo self-care. We talk about healthy vs. overcorrected boundaries, why prosocial actions (doing good for your partner) boost your own mood, how to shift from short-term impulses to a long-term family vision, and practical ways to “out-love” each other in daily life. What you’ll learn from this episode: The trap of “me first” and how it quietly erodes...
info_outlineThis week marks our 10-year wedding anniversary and if we’re being honest, the months leading up to it weren’t easy. Research even shows that around the 10-year mark, couples hit peak dissatisfaction.
But here’s the truth: challenges don’t mean your marriage is broken. They’re invitations to grow, reconnect, and come back stronger.
In this episode, we’re opening up about the 10 most powerful lessons from our 10 years together — the highs, the lows, the laughter, and the lessons that have shaped us as individuals, as partners, and as parents.
Whether you’ve been together 2 years, 20, or 50, these lessons will give you perspective, encouragement, and practical tools to stay on the same team in every season. Don’t miss this one—it might change the way you see your marriage.
Relationship Resources:
In honor of our 10-year anniversary, we’re keeping The Best of Us 30-Day Couples Challenge open for just a few more days! This special edition is designed to reignite emotional and physical intimacy, spark joy, and bring out the BEST in each other again.
Join here: mycoupleschallenge.com/best
Or explore all of our tools — from upcoming workshops to guides — at meetthefreemans.com/links
👉 If this episode gave you value, hit subscribe, drop a comment with your favorite lesson, and please leave a review so more couples can find this podcast.
Episode Timestamps of What We Discuss:
0:00 – Why 10 years can be a breaking point for couples
3:20 – Lesson 1: Keep updating your shared vision
9:17 – Lesson 2: Connection is more than just being around each other
15:52 – Lesson 3: Differences can make you a stronger team
25:14 – Lesson 4: Becoming parents forces you to reconstruct your marriage
32:09 – Lesson 5: How you show up daily becomes how your marriage feels
39:37 – Lesson 6: Be more committed to repair than being right (or hurt)
47:49 – Lesson 7: Most arguments aren’t about the surface-level issue
53:03 – Lesson 8: Don’t shift from biggest supporters to biggest critics
59:59 – Lesson 9: The same challenges repeat until you learn the lesson
1:08:48 – Lesson 10: Sometimes you just need to have fun and switch the energy
1:12:43 – Final reflections after 10 years