Callais Is Worse Than You Think. No, Even More Worse. Nope, STILL WORSE THAN THAT.
Release Date: 05/11/2026
Clarence Thomas Delivers An Incomprehensibly Stupid Speech
Opening Arguments
VR31 - Is Justice Clarence Thomas the single most interesting person in American public life right now? Matt is here to argue that case upon the dismal milestone of Thomas officially becoming the second longest-serving justice in US Supreme Court history. After a brief homage to Anita Hill’s tenacity at Thomas’s 1991 Senate confirmation hearing, we try to better understand the mind of this unusual man who has done uniquely massive amounts of damage to our legal system and our rights through a review of a speech he recently delivered at the University of Texas at Austin’s Civitas...
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Callais Is Worse Than You Think. No, Even More Worse. Nope, STILL WORSE THAN THAT.
Opening Arguments
OA1260 - The Supreme Court lectures us on the right way to combat racism, which is to close our eyes and pretend it’s not happening. In Louisiana v. Callais… the court guts the Voting Rights Act, weaponizes the 14th Amendment against prevention of racial discrimination in the name of preventing racial discrimination, and opens the door to banning basically all government or government-sponsored practices designed to combat racism. Or national origin discrimination. And probably gender discrimination. However bad you’ve heard this is, it’s worse. Listen to Jenessa and Thomas slowly lose...
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James Comey, Seashell Assassin
Opening Arguments
OA1259 - This week in Rapid Response Friday: who is the government protecting but not binding these days--and who are they binding but not protecting? We consider DOJ’s newest low in the absurd indictment of former FBI director James Comey for two counts of aggravated beach photography before moving on to a roundup of the federal government’s latest openly corrupt settlements with MAGA friends and supporters. Finally in today’s footnote: are Massachusetts police okay? (4/26/26) (4/6/26) (filed 1/5/2024) (J6 suit) Check out the OA for all the places to go and...
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LAM1013: Bull
Opening Arguments
Hey folks! Instead of VR this week we're putting out an episode-length preview of the latest Law'd Awful Movies! It's the TV show Bull. It sucks. And it's supposed to be about Dr. Phil? This thing is weird.
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Is Social Media the Asbestos of the Internet? with Matthew Bergman
Opening Arguments
OA1258 - The Social Media Victims Law Center just made history in a Los Angeles courtroom by holding Meta and Google accountable for mental health harms which they successfully argued to a jury knowingly caused harm to children. In a novel legal theory, these plaintiffs argued that they were harmed not through a lack of content moderation or other editorial choices which might otherwise be protected by Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act, but by the fundamental design of platforms like Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, and Youtube. SMVLC founder Matthew Bergman joins to share how his...
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Thomas and Lydia Take the Marriage Exam
Opening Arguments
In this very special episode, Thomas and Lydia Smith celebrate their 11th wedding anniversary in the most normal and romantic way possible: subjecting themselves to an extended interrogation about their marriage by a federal agent. After setting the scene in a (very slightly) parallel universe in which Thomas was born in Canada and committed a series of Nickelback-related misdemeanors before overstaying his student visa, Matt draws from his twenty years of experience in sitting through hundreds of immigration interviews to play out an unscripted simulation of what his clients and their U.S....
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DOJ Asks Judge to Grant Trump an Emergency Ballroom
Opening Arguments
The United States Department of Justice has reached a humiliating but undeniably hilarious new low in its defense of Donald Trump's illegal efforts to create a massive new building on the White House grounds without approval from his Congressional landlords.. Are the president's balls really a matter of national security? Did three of the most important people in DOJ really just put their names on a filing which reads more like a Trutth Social post than a serious motion in a serious case? We waltz in for a closer look. (3/31/2026) (4/27/2026)
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When You Oppose War, But Not Religiously
Opening Arguments
OA1256 - Will there ever be a draft again? Who knows. But if there is, what does one have to do to claim "conscientious objector” status? During the Vietnam War, the Supreme Court grappled with how to apply that explicitly religious statutory exemption to people whose modern beliefs don’t seem to fit the religious mold that Congress defined in the 40s. Jenessa walks us through the court’s mental gymnastics to avoid ever admitting that anyone could be an atheist, and the concurrence that calls it out. Note: The analysis of the Free Exercise Clause in this episode is specific to the time...
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SPLC Indicted for Being the SPLC; 10 Commandments in Classrooms; Trump’s Stupid Ballroom
Opening Arguments
OA1255 - Has the Southern Poverty Law Center really just been indicted for helping to provide information to the FBI? Did the Trump administration really just tell a federal judge that building a White House ballroom was a matter of “national security”? Did the 5th Circuit really just require Texas to display the 10 Commandments in every public school classroom? We take on these questions and many more before getting to our footnote: Did a Rolls-Royce hating bear really just commit insurance fraud in California? Indictment in (filed April 21, 2026) , Public Citizen (April 22, 2026) ...
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Leaked Supreme Court Memos Reveal the Shadow Docket's Extremely Stupid (and Corrupt) Origins
Opening Arguments
VR29 - Thomas, Lydia, and Matt go deep on the “Shadow Papers,” the 2016 shadow docket memos recently leaked to The New York Times which reveal the truth about the deliberations preceding the first time of many times to come that the Supreme Court stopped the government from enforcing something before any court had a chance to rule on it. Can anyone still possibly believe that John Roberts is only there to call “balls and strikes” after seeing how enthusiastically he is pitching for the energy lobby in these documents? Why are these glorified work emails so important, and what can we...
info_outlineOA1260 - The Supreme Court lectures us on the right way to combat racism, which is to close our eyes and pretend it’s not happening. In Louisiana v. Callais… the court guts the Voting Rights Act, weaponizes the 14th Amendment against prevention of racial discrimination in the name of preventing racial discrimination, and opens the door to banning basically all government or government-sponsored practices designed to combat racism. Or national origin discrimination. And probably gender discrimination. However bad you’ve heard this is, it’s worse. Listen to Jenessa and Thomas slowly lose their minds as they game out the myriad implications of this nonsense.
Previous episode on this topic: 1199 “They’re Going to End the Voting Rights Act. But at Least We Got to Hear KBJ Murder a Guy in Court”
If Matt has a footnote fetish(tm), I guess Jenessa has a shownote fetish because she has so many that I need to put it in a google doc.