Clarence Thomas Delivers An Incomprehensibly Stupid Speech
Release Date: 05/13/2026
The National Review’s Defense of Todd Blanche Is So Bad It's Confusing
Opening Arguments
VR35 - In this episode released on the 54th anniversary of the Watergate break-in, the Vapid Response team raids the archives of the New York Times to retrieve one of the single worst (and worst-timed!) contemporary takes on the scandal which would end Richard Nixon’s Presidency. We then return to a time in which a Watergate-style burglary would be a fun diversion to see how at least one conservative legal writer is defending Trump’s nomination of his former defense attorney to serve as Attorney General. William Safire, The New York Times (4/19/1973) The Editorial Board, The...
info_outline
When It Comes to Juries, All of a Sudden the Supreme Court Can See Race
Opening Arguments
OA1270 - A good court thingie! A famous case from 1986 gave us the “Batson rule” that prevents the use of “peremptory strikes” to remove people from juries on the basis of race. To this day, racial discrimination in jury selection continues to be a problem. But the Supreme Court recently reinforced the on-going utility of Batson challenges in two decisions… written by Kavanaugh? Tune in to learn about the history and modern application of this important protection of our rights. , 380 U.S. 202 (1965) , 476 U.S. 79 (1986) , 511 U.S. 127 (1994) , 588 U.S. 284 (2019) , 608...
info_outline
LAM1014: Green Card
Opening Arguments
Hoo boy what a bizarre experience! Listen as Matt tries to convince us a really bad movie is good just because it deals with immigration law! If you'd like to hear the rest, go to and pledge at $2+!
info_outline
Trump Is Trying to Blanche His Taint
Opening Arguments
OA1269 - It’s official: Donald Trump has nominated Acting Attorney General “Two Taint” Todd Blanche to run the Department of Justice for real. We review Blanche’s three-year career as Trump’s personal defense attorney before considering the questions the Senate Judiciary Committee should be asking to determine just who Blanche has been really working for in his time at DOJ so far. Then: the U.S. is hosting the world’s biggest international sports event at a time when our immigration system has never been less hospitable, and even before the first World Cup kickoff Trump’s CBP has...
info_outline
Is Fender Threatening Anyone Who Makes Strat-Shaped Guitars?
Opening Arguments
OA1268 - Patents, trademarks, and copyrights, ach mein! How did the Fender Stratocaster, a guitar that has been in continuous manufacture since 1954, become the subject of an intellectual property dispute? Well, maybe this didn’t exactly come from . Fender has had 5 utility patents, 1 design patent, and 3 trademarks relevant to the Stratocaster . But the one thing that’s been all this time was protection for that iconic (or is it?) body shape. After their design patent expired, their trademark application was , and US copyright was definitionally , anyone could see that to the US Patent...
info_outline
35 Judges Say Trump's DOJ Committed Fraud on the Court
Opening Arguments
OA1267 - Is Trump’s 1.8 billion dollar “anti-weaponization” fund really done, or is there something else going on here? Also can a few dozen federal judges really reopen any given civil suit with one magic filing? We take a closer look before going behind the recent commutation of former Mesa County (CO) elections clerk Tina Peters’ sentence by Colorado governor Jared Polis to the actual legal basis behind her successful appeal of her sentence to the Colorado Appeals Court. Finally in today’s footnote: an NPR host’s lawsuit claiming that Google stole his voice. ,...
info_outline
Molly Hemingway's Alito Book Is EMBARRASSING Propaganda
Opening Arguments
VR34 - This week in Vapid Response: Vanilla Ice provides the platonic ideal of an amuse douche before we order up an excerpt of the worshipful new Alito biography by the editor-in-chief of The Federalist. We then take a closer look at MAGA’s desperate attacks on Trump accuser E. Jean Carroll as expressed in a recent piece in the Examiner. OA Book Club is coming for all patrons! Sign up now for ad-free listening at , and start reading our first selection ahead of our first live Zoom meetup later this month. “,” Mollie Hemingway, The Federalist (April 21, 2026) ,” Joe Concha, The...
info_outline
When Super Soaker Got Sued by a Totally Lame Squirt Gun
Opening Arguments
OA1266 - Can wearing a corset be considered a “public” use of the product? What makes someone (or some thing) an inventor? What is it exactly that makes the Super Soaker so rad? Get the answers to these questions and more from… patent law? Jenessa walks us through some of her favorite wacky cases (that also teach us core patent law concepts). , 104 U.S. 333 (1881) , 43 F.4th 1207 (2022) , 27 U.S.P.Q.2d 1280 (E.D. Pa. 1993) , 91 F.3d 166 (Fed. Cir. 1996) Check out the OA for all the places to go and things to do!
info_outline
Judge Eviscerates Blanche’s DOJ, Tosses Abrego Garcia Indictment
Opening Arguments
OA1265 - THIS IS SUCH A GOOD NEWS SHOW. Seriously. It was so good that Matt invented a new form of entertainment that you need to hear about. We've got Markwayne saying possibly THE dumbest thing a cabinet member has ever said. We've got a judge absolutely schooling Trump's corrupt DOJ and dismissing the bogus Kilmar Abrego Garcia indictment, AND we've got some interesting emolument talk. Can Florida just give Trump land?
info_outline
Did Trump’s DHS Just End Green Cards? Not Exactly.
Opening Arguments
VR33 - Did Trump’s DHS really just “end greencards” for people living in the US? Is everyone here on a visa going to have to return to their home countries--potentially with legal bars to returning of ten years or more--to process their cases? Who is the USCIS policy memo on “adjustment of status” to permanent residency which has caused massive amounts of fear and uncertainty in immigrant communities around the country this past weekend actually targeting, and who might still be able to get through? As always, the answers to these questions are much more nuanced than a 30-second...
info_outlineVR31 - Is Justice Clarence Thomas the single most interesting person in American public life right now? Matt is here to argue that case upon the dismal milestone of Thomas officially becoming the second longest-serving justice in US Supreme Court history. After a brief homage to Anita Hill’s tenacity at Thomas’s 1991 Senate confirmation hearing, we try to better understand the mind of this unusual man who has done uniquely massive amounts of damage to our legal system and our rights through a review of a speech he recently delivered at the University of Texas at Austin’s Civitas Institute. Why did a former supporter of Malcolm X and the Black Panthers get fully behind the Reagan agenda, and why does he now believe that there is nothing wrong with Black Americans that harsher policing, the end of affirmative action, and lowering taxes on billionaires can’t fix? Does he know that the intended audience of libertarian conservative Black nationalists he is trying to speak to is approximately the same size as the dedicated core of lefty capital-P Progressive devotees of Woodrow Wilson he is telling them to fear? Also, perhaps less importantly--where, exactly, is “Skanksville”?
-
“Remarks on the 250th Anniversary of the Declaration of Independence,” Clarence Thomas (full text of address given April 20, 2026)(full video here)
-
The Enigma of Clarence Thomas, Corey Robin (2019)