Episode 19: Broken Dreams - Pregnancy Loss - An Interview with mom, Shannon Vaccaro

Therapists Hannah Mirmiran and Alexa Theisen interview Shannon Vaccaro, a mom from Omaha, Nebraska who, with her husband Tony, lost their first child, son Alfy, on April 6, 2012 at 28 weeks of pregnancy due to stillbirth and later, their daughter Anna due to miscarriage.

This episode focuses on pregnancy loss--both miscarriage (which occurs prior to week 20 of gestation), and stillbirth (occurring after 20 weeks of gestation).

Tony and Shannon Vaccaro unfortunately and heartbreakingly experienced both types of pregnancy loss--a stillbirth and a miscarriage. In this episode, Shannon shares the journey she and her husband have traveled to becoming parents and building a family.

Shannon bravely shares the story of her first pregnancy and the trauma of finding out that her son was stillborn when she was 7 months pregnant. 

Shannon shares the heartbreaking experiences of the ultrasound where they learned their son had died, sharing the news with family, delivering the baby, learning the gender, naming him, holding him, being rushed into emergency surgery to remove the placenta, and receiving a blood transfusion. She also shares about her husband Tony's experiences and talks about their time at the hospital, about their family's experiences, and about preparing, planning and having a funeral service, and then burying their son.

She discusses her own grief experience and the tools and resources she and her husband used to cope after their loss. She also talks about the emotions and symptoms they experienced related to grief and trauma, and about how she and Tony used therapy to help process everything. She also shares their process of continuing Alfy's memory and legacy.

Shannon goes on to talk about she and Tony's decision to have more children, testing to discover why Alfy died, about pregnancy after loss, about coping with anxiety, and about having their second child, son Vinny.

She talks about their decision to expand their family, and the heartbreaking loss of another pregnancy, their daughter Anna who was lost through miscarriage. She then shares about becoming pregnant again, and giving birth to son Mikey.

Shannon shares about how her marriage survived loss and how she and Tony have supported each other and have strengthened their relationship. She also talks about the growth she's experienced along her grief journey, and the work she's done to honor her grief and to find more meaning in her life. And about what it's like for her to be a mom of both living and deceased children.

Shannon talks about the advocacy and education work she's done to increase awareness about pregnancy loss. The resources she recommends are listed below.

"If there is a mom out there who has experienced loss, know you are not alone." - Shannon Vaccaro

The Broken Podcast is so grateful to both Tony and Shannon for their willingness and courage to share their story, their strength, and the memory of their children Alfy and Anna. 

Resources:

Guest, Shannon Vaccaro can be reached at [email protected]

Pregnancy Loss Resources:

For Immediate Grief Support, call 1-800-221-7437. Counselors are available 24/7

Articles Hannah has written:

Coping With Pregnancy Loss: https://whatsyourgrief.com/coping-with-pregnancy-loss/

Meaningful Grieving After Pregnancy Loss: https://whatsyourgrief.com/grieving-after-pregnancy-loss/

Online support, education, and information:

Healing Hearts Baby Loss Comfort: http://babylosscomfort.com/grief-resources/

Count the Kicks: https://www.countthekicks.org

What's Your Grief: https://whatsyourgrief.com

Still Standing Magazine: https://stillstandingmag.com

Compassionate Friends: Supporting Families After the Loss of a Child: https://www.compassionatefriends.org

Faces of Loss, Faces of Hope: http://facesofloss.com

The Centering Corporation and Grief Digest Magazine: https://centering.org

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Hannah and Alexa are therapists and coaches at Omaha Psychotherapy. https://omahapsychotherapy.com

They can be reached at [phone] and at [email protected]