Ep. 105 [Revisited] - Gender, Emotion and Perfectionism: A conversation with Lisa Damour
Release Date: 07/10/2024
Parenting Understood
Understanding temperament can transform parenting approaches, bringing harmony to the often turbulent journey of raising children. In this episode, we speak with Dr. Sandee McClowry about recognizing that each child's temperament is unique, and how this allows parents to cater their strategies to individual children’s needs. Whether your child is industrious, friendly, cautious, or high maintenance, acknowledging these traits helps in crafting supportive environments. We also discuss how parents must also be aware of their own temperaments to foster better interactions. Using tools like...
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Dr. Ronald Mah and Michelle discuss how a parent with narcissistic tendencies can impact a child and their development of self. He discusses entitlement, grandiosity, and righteousness, which create a mindset where rules don’t apply. Parenting styles are examined, emphasizing the importance of setting boundaries with sensitivity for healthy child development. Problematic parenting styles include permissiveness (too sensitive, no boundaries) and neglect (no sensitivity, no boundaries). The discussion ties into attachment theory, highlighting secure attachment as fostering availability,...
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This week we are re-airing a previous episode with Dr Clancy Blair on self-regulation in honor of his life and legacy. Sadly Clancy passed away on Dec. 19th. Clancy was a groundbreaking professor of child development at New York University, died December 19, 2024 in Nashville, TN. He was 63. The author of over 200 scientific articles, Blair was one of the most influential developmental psychologists of his generation. His research fundamentally changed how scientists understand the ways that children are shaped by family, neighborhood, and schools; Professor Blair has had a lasting...
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In this episode, we chat with Amanda DeLuca, founder and CEO of Riley, a platform designed to support new parents with evidence-based information and technology. Amanda shares her journey from a career in technology to becoming a parent and the challenges she faced, including postpartum depression and anxiety. Despite meticulous planning, she and her husband found themselves unprepared for the realities of parenthood. This experience led them to create Riley, an app that provides parents with access to reliable data and personalized advice, alleviating the overwhelming cognitive load. The app...
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In this episode, we are joined by my colleague, Dr. Robin Neuhaus, to discuss recent research of ours on Perinatal Mood Disorders (PMADs) and parenting supports. We highlight the stigma associated with PMADs, leading to underreporting and inadequate support. We emphasize the need for improved screening methods, increased awareness among healthcare providers, and accessible resources for parents. The conversation also touches on the impact of parental leave policies and the importance of support networks. We conclude by advocating for greater inclusivity in research and resources, recognizing...
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In this “off-cycle” episode we speak about the impact of ongoing wildfires in LA on children and families. Michelle describes the tense atmosphere, with strong winds, poor air quality, and evacuation alerts, creating a sense of fear and uncertainty reminiscent of the early pandemic days. Our conversation highlights the challenge of parenting amidst an active crisis, requiring a caregiver to manage their own emotional regulation while supporting their children. Michelle emphasizes the importance of preparedness, having open conversations with children about safety plans, and addressing...
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In this episode, we catch up after a short break, and chat about strategies for easing school transitions, particularly for children experiencing separation anxiety. We discuss the special importance of parental support through acceptance, validation, and confidence-building. We also emphasize establishing routines to provide children with a sense of security and familiarity. We finish up by discussing our personal and professional goals for 2025.
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This episode of Parenting Understood features Dr. Robyn Koslowitz, author of the upcoming book "Post Traumatic Parenting". Dr. Koslowitz, an expert in child development and trauma, discusses the often-overlooked impact of past trauma on parenting. Robyn explains how common coping mechanisms developed in childhood, like people-pleasing, dissociation, and perfectionism, can become obstacles in parenting. These ingrained responses, once helpful, can lead to stress, anger, and disengagement when raising children. Dr. Koslowitz identifies five distinct "post traumatic parenting types". She...
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This episode of Parenting Understood explores the crucial topic of emotional regulation for both parents and children. Dr. Cindy Hovington, a neuroscientist and parenting expert, explains that emotional regulation is about responding thoughtfully rather than reacting impulsively. She emphasizes that parents' emotional states deeply impact their children, highlighting the importance of modeling healthy emotional responses. The discussion delves into the difference between suppression and true calm, advocating for cognitive reappraisal as a tool to manage emotions effectively. Practical advice...
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In episode 145, Erin and Michelle delve into the concepts of attachment and self-regulation, highlighting their significance in parenting and child development. The hosts discuss how attachment forms a secure base, allowing children to regulate stress and explore their environment. Attachment theory categorizes relationships as either secure, which supports effective self-regulation, or insecure, where stress regulation can be more challenging. Brain research reveals that secure attachments foster more integrated neural activity between the limbic system and the prefrontal cortex, which is...
info_outlineIn this episode, we speak with Dr. Damour about the emotional lives of teenagers. We pay especial attention to the pressures that both genders feel yet how those may be manifested differently across genders, at times. Dr. Damour unpacks parent-child relationships, especially the mother-daughter relationship, and the role of identification in that relationship as girls mature. We also discuss how research methods may not always allow for the identification of areas of concern for boys.
Dr. Lisa Damour is the author of three New York Times best sellers: Untangled, Under Pressure, and The Emotional Lives of Teenagers. She co-hosts the Ask Lisa podcast, works in collaboration with UNICEF, and is recognized as a thought leader by the American Psychological Association. Dr. Damour is also a regular contributor to The New York Times and CBS News.
Dr. Damour serves as a Senior Advisor to the Schubert Center for Child Studies at Case Western Reserve University and has written numerous academic papers, chapters, and books related to education and child development. She maintains a clinical practice and also speaks to schools, professional organizations, and corporate groups around the world on the topics of child and adolescent development, family mental health, and adult well-being.
Dr. Damour graduated with honors from Yale University and worked for the Yale Child Study Center before earning her doctorate in Clinical Psychology at the University of Michigan. She has been a fellow at Yale’s Edward Zigler Center in Child Development and Social Policy and the University of Michigan’s Power Foundation. She and her husband are the proud parents of two daughters.
To learn more about Dr. Damour and her work please visit https://drlisadamour.com/ and follow her on instagram @lisa.damour