As the dust of battle settles around his feet, sweat drips from his nose onto the scorched earth. Blood runs down his forearm, through his fist clenching the hilt of his sword and lands into a puddle beneath him. His heavy breathing can be heard across the open field where the bodies of monsters lay in piles as far as the eye can see.
Even though he is the only thing still standing, his muscles remain tight and his barrel chest heaves with anticipation of another wave. He stares down his fallen foe as the body of the large winged beast dissolves into a cascade of glitter and technicolor dust.
Where the mangled remains fell now sits a chest. He lets out a long breath as his lungs empty and his muscles finally relax. He walks up to the chest and gives it a swift kick with his foot. The chest bursts open, light pouring out from within. At the bottom of the chest sits a single earring, illuminated by its power.
He pulls the earring from its resting place, holding it high above him as the sound of horns erupts from the air and a deep voice proclaims, “LEVEL 36 COMPLETE!”
***
I stayed up late playing video games again. As my alarm rings through my head at exactly 7:35 am, like it does every morning, I can’t help but think that maybe my decision to keep playing last night was a mistake. As I pull myself off my mattress, I paw around my bedside table in search of my glass of water. My mouth feels as dry as the deserts of Errendall, a reference you would understand if you also stayed up late playing video games.
I spend my workday down the hallway from my bedroom in my home office. My morning routine includes turning on my computer so it appears to my coworkers that I’m online and immediately walking into the kitchen for some much-needed coffee and whatever I can find in the fridge. I turn on the television for some background noise, it’s still early so the news is the only thing that’s ever on.
“A tragedy has struck a local community late last night as 3 are found dead in their home,” says the news anchor. “So far, details are unclear as local police continue to investigate. Any information regarding this horrendous crime is welcomed and can be made through the police department’s anonymous tip line.”
Maybe the news isn’t the best background noise. I switch the television over to YouTube, where I select the first ‘LoFi beats to chill and/or study to’ video that pops up. Hour-long Animal Crossing-adjacent sounds should suffice.
As I attempt to settle and begin to work, I am distracted by a persistent soreness in my left arm. I must have slept on it, but it feels like I’ve been hit by a bus, but with only my arm. It’s just distracting enough to make it near impossible to get any work done.
As I contemplate my daily tasks the sound of a bell comes through my computer -- an unwelcome alert from a coworker. “Leave me alone!” I shout at no one in particular.
Now, fully unmotivated, I do what anyone would do, I leave my computer on to appear to be working and I spin around and start playing my game where I left off last night.
***
Another glorious battle has concluded as our great hero holds his sword aloft, an electric current runs through the steel blade and into his hands. Every muscle expands as he gains even more strength. A deep booming voice announces, “LEVEL 42 COMPLETE!”
He lowers his sword to his side as the ground beneath him rumbles and cracks, splitting wide between his feet. Lava spits from the newly sundered ground as a massive, hideous fiery beast bursts forth, landing hard on the ground, its claws digging into the earth.
The deep voice calls out: “BEGIN!”
Our hero turns from the creature and runs as fast as he can dodging falling rocks and embers. His goal is a distant cavern, a place to even the playing field and do glorious battle with this hell beast. As the intended location comes into view, our hero is hit hard with a blast of fire breath. A shot that would have killed a lesser man, but only knocks our hero to his knees for a split second. He pulls himself up and continues his sprint toward safety.
As he approaches the cave he grabs his sword and shoots a bolt of lightning above the entrance, causing a cascade of rock to fall just behind him, preventing the beast from entering the cave long enough to prepare for their battle.
***
I should start drinking more water because I keep waking up with sore muscles, a dry mouth and a massive headache. My lower back feels like I’ve spent the day getting kicked by a horse and my arm wants nothing to do with the rest of my body. I pull myself up from the floor, which I must have fallen asleep on as a loud thud rings out through my house. It’s followed quickly by another as I realize a group of men are attempting to break down my door.
A loud voice outside calls out: “Come out with your hands up! We have you surrounded!”
Everything is a bit hazy as I try to make sense of what is happening. I stumble toward the front door as a canister crashes through my window and smoke fills the room. I drop to my knees to avoid the fumes, but as I do I land on something metallic and heavy. I feel around until I connect with a thick hilt. I know what this is but it’s like a distant memory.
The door explodes out into the yard as I step through, the sword held in my hands, high above my head.
A deep voice calls out: “BEGIN!”