104 - Navigating Polyamory and Friendship: How do we care for each other through relationship transitions?

RATED PG13: Mild Language

This is a very compassion-generating episode. It's an exploration of a long relationship I've had with an amazing guy. 

This is his first time on the show, but he's been a dear friend of mine for over 8.5 years. We've dated twice, broken up three times, spent hospital moments and Thanksgivings together, and cared about each other the whole way. Our relationship has really been years of personal evolution and the search for balance together.

He's going by "Mountain Man" on the show because he was training to be a volunteer mountain search and rescue team member when we first met, and he's always out in the mountains one way or another.

Think about this:

• Depression and the inability to acknowledge it and deal with it can lead to relationship disintegration.
• Don’t be afraid to talk about what didn’t work out in your relationship – it’s essential for self-growth and healing.
• To do better means taking responsibility of your own life and of the impact your life is having on your partner and loved ones.
• If you maintain the ability to turn towards each other, you can maintain a connection through friction
• You must be able to accept each other as flawed and struggling to do better - sometimes you can help each other, sometimes you cannot. Knowing the difference is wisdom. 
• In order to find happiness within yourself first, then seek happiness in partnership with others, you need to answer some questions… 
  • What do you want out of life? 
  • What does your partner want? 
  • What invisible expectations are you each working with, and how can you communicate and adjust to each other? 
  • OR… How can you communicate and choose more space between you and your partner in the places that need it?
• Sometimes we need to create more distance in our lives with the people we love in order to be a supportive and loving secure base - and navigating those transitions with clarity is a skill that can be built up.
• When one person in the relationship is focused on solving a problem and the other is not, it will lead to the problem escalating. 
• Often the reason why we stay with someone who undervalues us is because we are not recognizing or acknowledging our own self-worth.

Keep Exploring 

Listen to Episode 48 - Adjusting to What Works Now with Wendy Newman on Pleasure Central Radio. 

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CREDITS

Thanks for listening to Pleasure Central Radio hosted by me, Rebecca Beltran. Thanks to our guest, Mountain Man. Technical production by Creators Abroad (Catharina Joubert).

I also get significant creative feedback from my beta listeners group. For this episode, special thanks go to Derek, Bob, Josh, Marshall, Tony, and Jody. Thank you for your input. And to anyone else I might’ve missed, you are loved. 

If you’ve listened to this episode today and were intrigued by something, I would love to hear about it. What really hit home for you? Or surprised you? or maybe something from this episode helped you shift a perspective about something important? 

There’s a voice message button on the homepage of PleasureCentralRadio.com. I would love to hear what made a difference, and it’s as easy as leaving a message on my answering machine!

I’m especially interested in any new concepts that motivated you to do anything different in your own life. I’m looking forward to hearing from you. 

Thank you for being a part of the conversation. And I look forward to your company on the next episode.  

PHOTO CREDIT for show’s main artwork to JodyRaePhotography.com

RESOURCES 

PolySecure by Jessica Fern

Anything by John Gottman

Widen the Window