Episode 211: Alua Arthur

On living your fullest life so you can meet the end with grace.

• (0:00) - Introduction and Book Reading
• (2:08) - Alua's Journey from Law School to Death Doula
• (3:57) - Meeting Jessica and Reflecting on Judgments
• (7:04)- Alua's Background and Going with Grace
• (9:23) - Alua's Childhood and Adaptability
• (12:47) - Life in Los Angeles and Death Doula Work
• (14:37) - Peter's Illness and Its Impact
• (18:11) - Reflecting on Peter's Death
• (20:02) - Alua's Family and Legacy
• (24:43) - Final Thoughts and Resources

Author of BRIEFLY PERFECTLY HUMAN: Making an Authentic Life by Getting Real About the End, Alua Arthur is the most visible death doula in America today. A recovering attorney and the founder of Going with Grace, a death doula training and end-of-life planning organization, Alua has been featured on The Doctors and in Disney's Limitless docu-series with Chris Hemsworth, as well as Vogue, InStyle, the Los Angeles Times, The Cut, The New Yorker, and the New York Times. Her TED talk entitled “Why Thinking About Death Helps You Live a Better Life,” went online in July 2023 and has already received over 1.5 million views.

Alua has appeared on dozens of podcasts, and a Refinery29 video feature on Arthur and her work received ten million views across social platforms. For her clients and everyone who has been inspired by her humanity, Alua Arthur is a friend at the end of the world. As our country’s leading death doula, she’s spreading a transformative message: thinking about your death—whether imminent or not—will breathe wild, new potential into your life.

Warm, generous, and funny AF, Alua supports and helps manage end-of-life care on many levels. The business matters, medical directives, memorial planning; but also honoring the quiet moments, when monitors are beeping and loved ones have stepped out to get some air—or maybe not shown up at all—and her clients become deeply contemplative and want to talk. Aching, unfinished business often emerges. Alua has been present for thousands of these sacred moments—when regrets, fears, secret joys, hidden affairs, and dim realities are finally said aloud. When this happens, Alua focuses her attention at the pulsing center of her clients’ anguish and creates space for them, and sometimes their loved ones, to find peace.

Going with Grace, Alua's work

Alua's TED Talk: https://www.ted.com/talks/alua_arthur_why_thinking_about_death_helps_you_live_a_better_life

This has had a profound effect on Alua, who was already no stranger to death’s periphery. Her family fled a murderous coup d’état in Ghana in the 1980s. She has suffered major, debilitating depressions. And her dear friend and brother-in-law died of lymphoma. Advocating for him in his final months is what led Alua to her life’s calling. She knows firsthand the power of bearing witness and telling the truth about life’s painful complexities, because they do not disappear when you look the other way. They wait for you.

Briefly Perfectly Human is a life-changing, soul-gathering debut, by a writer whose empathy, tenderness, and wisdom shimmers on the page. Alua Arthur combines intimate storytelling with a passionate appeal for loving, courageous end-of-life care—what she calls “death embrace.” Hers is a powerful testament to getting in touch with something deeper in our lives, by embracing the fact of our own mortality. “Hold that truth in your mind,” Alua says, “and wondrous things will begin to grow around it.