ProCo 259: Whiskey for My Men, Jail for My Podcast - Barmageddon
Professional Contestants
Blake Shelton is out here making a game show that is basically a commercial for his Nashville bar, where the booze is always flowing and the vibes are great. Well the Professional Contestants are gonna call you on that one, Blake. Be careful what you wish for because by the time we're done, your bar is gonna look like the aftermath of a Project X and your comically large medals will be nowhere to be seen. Zach's favorite bar game is "Get double crossed by that scary guy in the cave," Jared's favorite bar game is "Fake your death and show up at your own funeral," and Adam's favorite bar game is...
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ProCo 258: I Am Spartafish - FishCenter Live
Professional Contestants
Ok, we get it. Maybe we can't just climb into an aquarium and expect to automatically win a bunch of random chance games against some fish. But what if we make ourselves really tiny first? And what if one of us is scuba certified? And what if we get an octopus involved? It probably still wont work, yeah, WE KNOW. At least eating the other contestants isn't explicitly off the table this time. Zach is tickled by the idea of a fish naming another fish, Jared reminds everyone that he is scuba certified, and Adam can't imagine Godzilla running. Talking Points Include: All Hail The King, Godzilla...
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ProCo 257: Queer Eyes, Big Top, Can't Lose - Inquizition
Professional Contestants
We love the Queer Eye guys. The things they do to change peoples' lives for the better is pretty great. But if you ask us, it's time for a change. This time, the strong man, the bearded lady, the lion tamer, the clowns, and the ring leader are coming to town. They're here to tell you that you have a gross body and shoot you out of a cannon. All things just keep getting better! Zach is afraid of corn specifically, Jared would pay money to see Joe Biden get shot out of a cannon, and Adam is certified to operate heavy machinery. Talking Points Include: Forklift Certification, Corn of the Corn,...
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ProCo 256: Corbin Bernsen Cheat Codes - Shaq Vs.
Professional Contestants
Shaquille O'Neal is a man who thinks highly of himself. So much so that he created a television show dedicated to him challenging the world's best individuals in every field to competitions in their area of expertise. He rarely, if ever emerges victorious, but we still think he needs to be knocked down a peg or two. Watch out Shaq, The Professional Contestants are about to give you a taste of your own medicine. Zach will beat Shaq in an acting competition, Jared will beat Shaq in a graduate school competetion, and Adam will beat Shaq in a DJing competition. Talking Points Include: Inside...
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ProCo 255: Chumbawamba Night - Celebrity Name That Tune
Professional Contestants
When it comes to music trivia, it's safe to say we know a thing or two, and we know more than just current pop music. For example, did you know that way back when the pop charts first started, the first song to top two charts simultaniously was the mega hit "Banging Hot Rocks?" It was number one on both Cave Man Hits and Top Iguana Tracks. The more you know, huh? Zach has never seen a Minion, Jared knows more than one Chumbawamba song, and Adam knowingly burned a CD full of bad songs. Talking Points Include: The Future of Young Sheldon, Gru Is The Dad, One Big Tom Sawyer, Rock Smash, Randy...
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ProCo 254: Having A Gaston Moment - Snake Oil
Professional Contestants
We here at Professional Contestants aren't exactly what you would call entrepreneurs. We don't claim to be amazing at identifying products with potential and investing in them. But if we have learned anything from reality tv show judges like Mark Cuban, Simon Cowell, and Gordon Ramsay, it's that being mean to the person presenting to us will definitely get us somewhere. Good thing this game show is much more like a realilty show than it is like actual investing. Zach made a globally recognised NCAA PowerPoint, Jared is your go to guy to take a dive, and Adam used to be super into infomercials....
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ProCo 253: Urkel Brunch - The Floor
Professional Contestants
If you had to convince someone that you were an expert in something, what would it be? Something broad like "musicians?" Maybe something very specific like "Celebrities on The Simpsons?" What about something unapproachable like "The Golden Age of The Ottoman Empire?"All good ideas, but our tastes lay more along the lines of "That Witch Who Cursed Me and Turned Me Into a Frog." Will you kiss us and make us a prince? Zach is an expert in Magnum, P.I., Jared is an expert in The New Deal, and Adam is an expert in Spongebob Characters. Talking Points Include: New Year Resolutions, SkyHook...
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ProCo 252: Original Flash: Ben Franklin - iWitness
Professional Contestants
When you have been creating game show strategies as long as we have, you begin to realize that sometimes its best to play to your strengths. But who would have thought that one of our strengths would be a deep knowledge of the powers associated with The Flash, including how to give someone those powers? As it turns out, it's quite easy to become a Flash. So easy in fact, that even the founding fathers were doing it. Zach reasserts his love for when people fall down, Jared knows a whole lot about Flash, and Adam deosn't believe in Ben Franklin's exploits. Talking Points Include: Yoink Me Sky...
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ProCo 251: A Dunk in Every Sport - Big Fat Quiz of the Year
Professional Contestants
Let me start this off by admitting that we have made a mistake. When finding game shows to watch for this podcast we tend to avoid ones that are just trivia questions and ones that are already specifically comedic. Folks, this one is both. However, it does have one unique thing going for it. All the questions are about current events. And sure, we may not keep up with pop culture too closely, but what if we, ourselves, were able to create the 36 biggest headlines of the year? It would sure make remembering them a lot easier. Zach hotboxes his body with farts, Jared has the high score on Sneak...
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ProCo 250: The Legend of Horatio Bad-Dick - Disney Holiday Magic Quest
Professional Contestants
Wow everyone. We are truly getting a once in a lifetime experience with this game show. The chance to be at Disney World, in the Magic Kingdom, after hours. Just us and our friend Mickey Mouse and OH NO SOME EVIL QUEENS?!? Everyone! Quick! Focus on stopping these bad queens from stealing all of the holiday magic from the world! Don't worry about where Mickey is or what he is putting in his car. He is MICKEY after all, he's allowed to be doing that. Zach thought Disney owned the United Kingdom, Jared needs to clarify that this goat is NOT Rob Lowe, and Adam insists Mickey can go anywhere....
info_outlineYou don't have to be married to play along with a "Newlywed Game" type of competition. You don't even have to be dating. You could just be two friends who know a lot about each other and want to test that knowledge. Hell, you could both be Batman and all of your answers are just about how you have Alfred do everything for you. Whats that? Did I lose you on that one? Doesn't matter, now give me my iPod shuffle and get these spaghetti stains out of my bat suit.
Zach dreams up a new Luther Vandross single, , Jared got passed over for the moon expedition, and Adam quizzes Zach and Jared in The Newlywed Game.
Talking Points Include: A is for Armstrong, Cameos for Space Travel, Earn Every Kiss, 90s Taco Bell Ass, Baby Bear The Cook, GruelHaus, The Dracula Response, Whatever Alfred Gives Us