Liverpool in Shambles. Ripip Ange - Again. Pro/Rel for NCAA Soccer? (MW#8)
Release Date: 10/21/2025
Haaland & Gabriel - BFFs? Xavi Simons' Resting Sad Face. Lazy LinkedIn Liam. (MW #34)
Sam's Army
PREMIER LEAGUE: City's win over Arsenal feels like a title decider and Erling Haaland + Gabriel Magalhaes = enemies or frienemies? Leeds, Forest and West Ham know they are in a relegation battle -- unlike Tottenham. Most incredible statistic of all time about LinkedIn Liam's Chelsea squad. Nobody has checked out harder than Newcastle. HALFTIME: What If we lived in a fascist dictatorship... who on the pod would be the best and worst dictator? ROUND THE WORLD: US Open Cup feels extra chalky this year and spiciest MLS Minute on record STOPPAGE TIME: Ivan Toney's Best Bets and GOAWs
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North London Nightmares: Arteta's Fear vs Pep's Poise + Spurs Surrender. Which UCL Underdog Could Prevail? (MW #33)
Sam's Army
PREMIER LEAGUE: this weekend crystallized Arsenal's great fears. City really feeling themselves. Modest vindication for Arne Slot and Mo Salah (and "Rui" Ngamoha). Relegation battle featuring three clubs and one clownshow. Preview of Sunday's all-important Arsenal at City fixture. HALFTIME: fascism-related weekly what if postponed to next week... stay tuned ROUND THE WORLD: Champions League chatter - which club has the best and worst chance of overturning their first leg deficit plus an extra spicy MLS hit-it-n-quit-it minute STOPPAGE TIME: Ivan Toney's Best Bets and GOAWs
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Ripip Arsenal Quadruplet. Liverpool Manhandled. EPL Players Longing for La Liga. (MW #32)
Sam's Army
PREMIER LEAGUE: Arsenal's quadruple dreams up in smoke - more disappointment to come? Liverpool gets belt-to-assed by City and clock is running out for Arne Slot. Weekend preview featuring critical battles at top (City/Chelsea) and bottom (Leeds, Forest, Spurs and Hammies) of table. HALFTIME: What If - you controlled Christian Pulisic's social life... do you want him going into the World Cup single and hungry or booed up and comfortable? ROUND THE WORLD: Champions League chatter plus the spiciest ML Minute yet STOPPAGE TIME: Ivan Toney's Best Bets and GOAWs
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USMNT vs Belgium/Portugal Postmortem. De Zerbi to Spurs. Ivan Toney's Best Bets.
Sam's Army
ROUND THE WORLD: Breakdown of USMNT's wasted window f/t belts to ass from Belgium and Portugal. Did we answer ANY questions? Is Poch playing the long game or flailing wildly? What is our best XI right now? HALFTIME: What If the French national team played in the Premier League... where are they finishing? PREMIER LEAGUE: What is the best-case scenario for Tottenham's 5-year deal - LOL - for Roberto De Zerbi? Arsenal's (shrewd) shamelessness continues. STOPPAGE TIME: Ivan Toney's Best Bets and GOAWs
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City's Cupset. Arsenal Angst. Toodles Tudor. USMNT vs Belgium Preview. (MW #31)
Sam's Army
PREMIER LEAGUE: City sends shivers down (some) Arsenal spines with dominant League Cup final win. Tottenham fail yet another must-win test in embarrassing fashion results in massive (and impressive) win for Forest. Tyler reacts to the confirmed and rumored departures of Salah and Slot -- respectively. Laim is losing the plot at Chelsea. HALFTIME: Pop Quiz on EPL relegation favorites ROUND THE WORLD: A look ahead at what matters in USMNT vs Belgium and fears of what it could lead to... STOPPAGE TIME: Ivan Toney's Best Bets and GOAWs
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Chelsea Chuddles & Rosenior Roast. AFCON Debacle. Gio Reyna Returns. (MW #30)
Sam's Army
PREMIER LEAGUE: Chelsea's pregame chuddles and thoughts on how performative/gimmicky Rosenior (aka "Liam") is. Sam thinks Spurs are so back (yikes). Huge weekend in title race but another one still to come. Preview of Sunday's twin toilet bowls. HALFTIME: What If - you played for Morocco and were suddenly * hypothetically * handed the AFCON title two months after the fact... how are you reacting/celebrating? ROUND THE WORLD: Champions League roundup plus brief thoughts on Poch's USMNT roster STOPPAGE TIME: Ivan Toney's Best Bets and GOAWs
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Osula Magic. Spurs' Shot at Survival. Whitewalker Wolves. UCL Upset Alerts. (MW #29)
Sam's Army
PREMIER LEAGUE: Tottenham's nightmare midweek and concern that the team's head is not in it; Osula's incredible game-winner for Newcastle; Rob Edwards raises the Whitewalker Wolves... and a look ahead at Liverpool vs Tottenham and Chelsea vs Newcastle HALFTIME: Pop Quiz on favorites to win the WC26 golden boot ROUND THE WORLD: Extra spicy MLS Hit-It-N-Quit-It Minute and (double) compliment corner - Everton and Tottenham STOPPAGE TIME: Ivan Toney's Best Bets and GOAWs
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Chelsea Childishness. Tottenham vs PGMOL. Burnley's Emotional Rollercoaster. (MW #28)
Sam's Army
PREMIER LEAGUE: Arsenal outlasts Chelsea in a wrestling match masquerading as a soccer game, thanks in part to the Blues' tendency for childish petulance (which says a lot about the club's lack of leadership). Brentford controversially pips Burnley in and unexpected thriller. Being on the wrong end of 50-50 calls by referees is becoming an unfortunate way of life for Tottenham, leaving the club with a must-win home game on Thursday against 14th place Palace in early March (woof). HALFTIME: What If the USL players go on strike and the league scours local pub leagues and offers you a chance to...
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North London Demolition. Liam Rosenior's Spectacles. Spicy MLS Minute. (MW #27)
Sam's Army
Join our beautiful soccer community/discord and support the pod: PREMIER LEAGUE: Arsenal's North London Demolition of sad sack Spurs. Hot take on Liam Rosenior's job security. LiVARpool survives. Carrick pulls the right levers for United once again. Everton's lack of creativity bites them. Weekend preview f/t Arsenal vs Chelsea. HALFTIME: Pop Quiz putting Champions League mini-marauders Bodo/Glimt's remarkable run in context ROUND THE WORLD: extra spicy MLS hit-it-n-quit-it minute STOPPAGE TIME: Ivan Toney's Best Bets and GOAWs
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Spurs & Forest Smash Panic Button. PR101 for United Haircut Guy. MLS 2026 Hot Takes.
Sam's Army
Join our beautiful soccer community/discord and support the pod: https://www.patreon.com/samsarmy PREMIER LEAGUE: Pressure beginning to mount on Arsenal and Arteta. Tottenham and (especially) Nottingham Forest smash the panic button, bringing in temporary stopgap managers. PR101 tips for how Manchester United haircut guy SHOULD handle the situation moving forward. Weekend preview f/t biggest wild card game in recent North London Daerby history. HALFTIME: What If a legendary team from the 1950s or 60s played in the Premier League today - how would they do? ROUND THE WORLD: what to watch...
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PREMIER LEAGUE: Tyler admits that Liverpool's loss to United exposed serious problems at Anfield (and potentially in his wedding plans). Forest's ill-fated Ange experiment blows up even earlier than predicted. Bournemouth and Palace high-quality slugfest. Villa drops two absolute WORLDIES right on Tottenham's face. And a preview of the weekend f/t Arsenal vs Palace (strong vs strong) and Bournemouth vs Forest (strong vs calamitous).
HALFTIME: reaction to US Soccer's plan to reshape NCAA soccer into a world class U23 league that could involve regional promotion and relegation, though questions and concerns are myriad
ROUND THE WORLD: extra brief MLS Hit-It-N-Quit-It Minute and Champions League preview
STOPPAGE TIME: Ivan Toney's Best Bets and GOAWs