Sunderland's #PettyWars Win. Salah Strikes Back. Amorim's Amorphous Plans. (MW #16)
Release Date: 12/16/2025
Man City Blinks. United May Be Back. Will PSG-Bayern (Round 2) Disappoint?
Sam's Army
PREMIER LEAGUE: Man City blow golden opportunity to go top in extremely un-Man City fashion. Everton remain an enigma. Bruno and Carrick execute another masterclass, this time on battered Liverpool. Spurs players finally give fans a shred of hope. Arsenal vs West Ham on Sunday is a real conundrum for Tottenham fans. ROUND THE WORLD: Where does PSG 5-4 Bayern stack up among best games in recent history? What will Arsenal's performance vs Atletico mean for title race? STOPPAGE TIME: Ivan Toney's Best Bets and GOAWs
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West Ham's Bowen Factor. Bruno's Legacy. Can PSG Take Down Bayern? (MW #35)
Sam's Army
PREMIER LEAGUE: clutch wins for all the relegation battlers does not mean the picture has not changed (though s/o to Spurs for losing even when they win). Jarrod Bowen vying to be the difference for West Ham. Arsenal hang on against a checked-out Newcastle. Another Bruno Fernandes masterclass - but what will his legacy be at United? HALFTIME: Pop Quiz on Ballon d'Or contenders ROUND THE WORLD: Champions League chatter previewing semifinal 1st legs STOPPAGE TIME: Ivan Toney's Best Bets and GOAWs
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Haaland & Gabriel - BFFs? Xavi Simons' Resting Sad Face. Lazy LinkedIn Liam. (MW #34)
Sam's Army
PREMIER LEAGUE: City's win over Arsenal feels like a title decider and Erling Haaland + Gabriel Magalhaes = enemies or frienemies? Leeds, Forest and West Ham know they are in a relegation battle -- unlike Tottenham. Most incredible statistic of all time about LinkedIn Liam's Chelsea squad. Nobody has checked out harder than Newcastle. HALFTIME: What If we lived in a fascist dictatorship... who on the pod would be the best and worst dictator? ROUND THE WORLD: US Open Cup feels extra chalky this year and spiciest MLS Minute on record STOPPAGE TIME: Ivan Toney's Best Bets and GOAWs
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North London Nightmares: Arteta's Fear vs Pep's Poise + Spurs Surrender. Which UCL Underdog Could Prevail? (MW #33)
Sam's Army
PREMIER LEAGUE: this weekend crystallized Arsenal's great fears. City really feeling themselves. Modest vindication for Arne Slot and Mo Salah (and "Rui" Ngamoha). Relegation battle featuring three clubs and one clownshow. Preview of Sunday's all-important Arsenal at City fixture. HALFTIME: fascism-related weekly what if postponed to next week... stay tuned ROUND THE WORLD: Champions League chatter - which club has the best and worst chance of overturning their first leg deficit plus an extra spicy MLS hit-it-n-quit-it minute STOPPAGE TIME: Ivan Toney's Best Bets and GOAWs
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Ripip Arsenal Quadruplet. Liverpool Manhandled. EPL Players Longing for La Liga. (MW #32)
Sam's Army
PREMIER LEAGUE: Arsenal's quadruple dreams up in smoke - more disappointment to come? Liverpool gets belt-to-assed by City and clock is running out for Arne Slot. Weekend preview featuring critical battles at top (City/Chelsea) and bottom (Leeds, Forest, Spurs and Hammies) of table. HALFTIME: What If - you controlled Christian Pulisic's social life... do you want him going into the World Cup single and hungry or booed up and comfortable? ROUND THE WORLD: Champions League chatter plus the spiciest ML Minute yet STOPPAGE TIME: Ivan Toney's Best Bets and GOAWs
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USMNT vs Belgium/Portugal Postmortem. De Zerbi to Spurs. Ivan Toney's Best Bets.
Sam's Army
ROUND THE WORLD: Breakdown of USMNT's wasted window f/t belts to ass from Belgium and Portugal. Did we answer ANY questions? Is Poch playing the long game or flailing wildly? What is our best XI right now? HALFTIME: What If the French national team played in the Premier League... where are they finishing? PREMIER LEAGUE: What is the best-case scenario for Tottenham's 5-year deal - LOL - for Roberto De Zerbi? Arsenal's (shrewd) shamelessness continues. STOPPAGE TIME: Ivan Toney's Best Bets and GOAWs
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City's Cupset. Arsenal Angst. Toodles Tudor. USMNT vs Belgium Preview. (MW #31)
Sam's Army
PREMIER LEAGUE: City sends shivers down (some) Arsenal spines with dominant League Cup final win. Tottenham fail yet another must-win test in embarrassing fashion results in massive (and impressive) win for Forest. Tyler reacts to the confirmed and rumored departures of Salah and Slot -- respectively. Laim is losing the plot at Chelsea. HALFTIME: Pop Quiz on EPL relegation favorites ROUND THE WORLD: A look ahead at what matters in USMNT vs Belgium and fears of what it could lead to... STOPPAGE TIME: Ivan Toney's Best Bets and GOAWs
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Chelsea Chuddles & Rosenior Roast. AFCON Debacle. Gio Reyna Returns. (MW #30)
Sam's Army
PREMIER LEAGUE: Chelsea's pregame chuddles and thoughts on how performative/gimmicky Rosenior (aka "Liam") is. Sam thinks Spurs are so back (yikes). Huge weekend in title race but another one still to come. Preview of Sunday's twin toilet bowls. HALFTIME: What If - you played for Morocco and were suddenly * hypothetically * handed the AFCON title two months after the fact... how are you reacting/celebrating? ROUND THE WORLD: Champions League roundup plus brief thoughts on Poch's USMNT roster STOPPAGE TIME: Ivan Toney's Best Bets and GOAWs
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Osula Magic. Spurs' Shot at Survival. Whitewalker Wolves. UCL Upset Alerts. (MW #29)
Sam's Army
PREMIER LEAGUE: Tottenham's nightmare midweek and concern that the team's head is not in it; Osula's incredible game-winner for Newcastle; Rob Edwards raises the Whitewalker Wolves... and a look ahead at Liverpool vs Tottenham and Chelsea vs Newcastle HALFTIME: Pop Quiz on favorites to win the WC26 golden boot ROUND THE WORLD: Extra spicy MLS Hit-It-N-Quit-It Minute and (double) compliment corner - Everton and Tottenham STOPPAGE TIME: Ivan Toney's Best Bets and GOAWs
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Chelsea Childishness. Tottenham vs PGMOL. Burnley's Emotional Rollercoaster. (MW #28)
Sam's Army
PREMIER LEAGUE: Arsenal outlasts Chelsea in a wrestling match masquerading as a soccer game, thanks in part to the Blues' tendency for childish petulance (which says a lot about the club's lack of leadership). Brentford controversially pips Burnley in and unexpected thriller. Being on the wrong end of 50-50 calls by referees is becoming an unfortunate way of life for Tottenham, leaving the club with a must-win home game on Thursday against 14th place Palace in early March (woof). HALFTIME: What If the USL players go on strike and the league scours local pub leagues and offers you a chance to...
info_outlinePREMIER LEAGUE: Arsenal fans starting to feel a little pressure. Salah responds to Slot's massive midweek UCL win (in his absence). Villa keep on keeping on. Forest architect Spurs' latest indignity. Nobody quite knows what Amorim is trying to do with United but if it produces more 4-4 draws like this week vs Bournemouth, so be it.
STOPPAGE TIME: Ivan Toney's Best Bets (f/t Cone of Shame) and GOAWs