Sensory Strides #54 Depression, Mass, Return to public, desk project

Quote “I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes, several attack me all at once.” -Ashleigh Brilliant

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Last week I was in the depression bubble again and really struggled to come out of it. I was not feeling successful at work, but I knew it was more than that and couldn’t pull myself into a more positive mindset. So instead, I gave into it and ate more food than normal, didn’t give full attention to my other podcast, and sat in front of the tv. By Friday night I had enough tv and choose instead to indulge in reading. I finished 4 books over the weekend. By last night I was beginning to feel slightly better and when I woke up today, I felt ready to face others again.

I am still struggling with balancing what is acceptable to me in going out in public and what others are doing. Prior to the pandemic, Sunday was truly a day devoted to God. I would go to Mass, then we would go to my husbands church where he would teach Sunday school, then have church there, come home, have lunch, and then head back out in the evening for Bible study. My church opened last weekend and I am not even considering going yet and am instead continuing to watch livestream Masses. My husband’s church opened yesterday. He went, but I stayed home. Even in church, I am not ready to trust other people’s willingness to keep everyone healthy quite yet.

On Saturday, I decided I was ready to attempt a small step back into the world. I recently purchased a standing desk converter. However, the table I was using it on didn’t really work. I decided to go to some local furniture thrift stores to see if I could find something that would work. I figured that either there would be way too many people and I just wouldn’t go in or there wouldn’t be anyone I would need to worry about and be able to keep my safe space. On my way to the next town over and the first potential stop, there was a small subdivision with a series of garage sales. I drove through and one of the houses had a desk in the middle of the driveway that looked just about like what I wanted. I stopped and the desk was fairly wobbly, but I could tell it would be easier to reinforce with some brackets underneath to stabilize. I got the desk for $7. I brought it home and my husband and I were able to easily take it apart into its pieces – legs, sides, and top separate. We glued it back together and cinched it with a strap overnight. The next day the desk didn’t wobble at all and is perfect for the desk converter. I think this project also helped my mental state.

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